


A Package Deal

by LittleSwanLover



Series: Special Delivery [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Careers Have Issues, Cora needs to loosen up, Cover Art, Emma is a fiesty and opinionated five year old, F/F, Family Drama, Family Feels, Fluff and Humor, Foster Care, Gold is a greedy prick, Happy Ending, Mama Regina, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Mystery, Parent Evil Queen | Regina Mills, Power of Sisterhood, Regina deals with some issues, Sequel, Some angst, Updated weekly, Young Emma, Zelena doesn't have a filter, learning to forgive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-05-16 16:43:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 91,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19322098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSwanLover/pseuds/LittleSwanLover
Summary: What if by losing the one you love, fate—or someone you least expect, helps you find them again? Regina is fostering five year old Emma with the help of her sister, while handling the increasing demands of her career. When news of Emma’s lineage comes to light Regina's career, family, and the adoption are threatened and a battle for love, forgiveness, and her daughter begins.A/U - Sequel of Special Delivery





	1. A Deal

**A/N - I strongly recommend you read Special Delivery first. Unlike the first story which was primarily rot your teeth fluff, things are about to get a bit more real for our ladies (all of our Mills women) so expect some more drama with tons of fluff and humor woven in between as they all learn to navigate this new family dynamic. This is a story about the power of sisterhood, overcoming family differences, small miracles, and the magic of a bond that goes beyond blood.**

**Dedication –** _To every person out there who feels like they are struggling in the dark to find their way; you will find the light again, but more often it will find you when you least expect it._

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**_Chapter 1 - A Deal_ **

**_::::::::::::::::::::::_ **

Something warm stirred beside her in the dark.

Or rather someone.

Regina cracked her eyes open, her fingers curling into the soft blonde curls spilled across her pillow case her cheek had found a home in last night while she had slept. At one time months ago she was used to the idea of waking up alone to a new day, but like every day since the week before Christmas Emma's little face would appear on the pillow next to her head or across the way framed on her nightstand to greet her. She smiled at the sweet sleeping face of her little girl. She had been doing that a lot lately and more so since Emma had officially moved in. Slowly sitting up in bed Regina ran her fingers through her tangle of hair in thought as the sun splashed brightly across the carpet announcing the day to come. She hugged her knees and rested her chin there watching Emma breathe peacefully as she thought about the last few months.

Right after Christmas and finalizing the foster care papers she'd become Emma's temporary legal guardian. It had taken two months to get her official fostering license and she had at the end of February. The process was made quicker due to the extensive work done beforehand by Zelena and Mother to have Emma placed with her. The same week she'd put in for her intent to adopt, which was an extensive process in itself. Regina was now on a first name basis with Ms. Jenine Nelson, Emma's Social Worker, due to the twice a month home visits they were subject to. Between those, which always left both she and Emma an anxious wreck, and the court ordered therapy sessions that were once a week for Emma with the demands of her career had all but left Regina exhausted.

But more than smiling.

Now four months into a six month process before Emma was officially her daughter on paper there was a hearing coming up to confirm intent and the Termination of Parental Rights that Zee said not to worry about. All were just the next steps to make Emma an official part of her family. Emma already was in her eyes and had been an absolute light in the darkness that had overtaken her life since Kathryn's death.

A lot had changed in the last four months since the Christmas Program and Regina began thinking about some of them as she slipped out of bed and went to her bathroom to begin her morning routine. Today was an office day and she worked there four days a week and from home on Friday. Late nights working had also become a thing of the past—at least until after Emma was in bed. As the hot water hit Regina's face she sighed in relaxation, knowing she had as short time before Emma awoke and would no doubt come seeking her out.

As she began to relax, the tension leaving her shoulders reminded her of why it was there to begin with. Regina sighed as she wet a sponge and lathered up, her thoughts went to her Mother. With Cora's begrudging understanding Regina had made that work shift and was about to make the next down to three days a week in order to be home more with Emma. She needed to have that talk with Mother today and was not looking forward to it. While Cora adored Emma the business minded woman had made it more than clear to Regina that she was to keep up with her responsibility to the family corporation as she had been groomed to do since childhood. While Regina liked aspects of her career, there were certain parts she could more than do without and she didn't have to work for money. There was plenty of it in a trust in her name waiting to be tapped since her Father's death three years ago.

Regina liked working though—and this work in particular. Getting an untold story into the hands of a reader to consume was something she was more than passionate about. She took risks on new writers and often her risks paid off with a generous amount of zeros attached much to her Mother's and Mr. Gold's pleasure.

To help manage her time Regina had begun to work smarter, not harder. She had shifted some of her smaller responsibilities to her more than capable team and still managed the larger aspects of the family business at Mills, Mills & Gold Publishing co. As she rinsed the body-wash from her skin she frowned at that new addition to the company name and the man that had come with it. Mostly she spent her time reading and approving scripts or working on the financial business end of their empire with the company lawyer, Zelena, as a support. On their own, she and her sister were each a force to be reckoned with. Together they were damn near unstoppable.

Regina smiled at the thought and even bigger at the next.

More so than work she spent her time learning how to be the parent of a feisty, intelligent, and opinionated five year old girl (though Emma would say 5 and 3/4s adamantly) with the biggest heart she had ever known. Emma was a pistol and ball of energy on a good day and a firecracker on better ones. On the not so good ones they struggled to find their way, but both were learning their new roles to each other. There were some demons in the child's past that had come to light and some Regina suspected were still in hiding waiting to come out. Emma especially was learning though that she was not going anywhere.

No matter what.

"Gina?"

The door was pushed open and Regina turned off the water and quickly reached for her robe. "Remember to knock and wait until I call for you next time, alright?" Privacy was still a foreign concept to Emma who was used to sharing space with multiple people and having none of it in other homes, the group home especially. But they were making progress. There was a lot of learning of new things and some undoing they were working on together with Emma's therapist. One that Emma was still warming up to and in truth so was she.

"Kay." Bouncing into the room fully Emma went right for a waist to hug. "G'morning!"

Regina leaned down to kiss golden curls. "Good morning sweetheart. How did you sleep?"

"Good." Grinning up. "I'm full of beans this morning too!"

A dark brow rose, not sure she should ask. "Oh, did you eat some already?" Not remembering having made any recently or why Emma would willingly eat them. They had the vegetable battle often enough that she'd taken to sneaking them in sauces and dishes in creative ways. While Emma ate most everything else, the girl was learning that green food was a necessary evil of childhood.

"Nope, but I am hungry." Emma moved to sit on the round rug in front of the sink and opened the cabinet below to play with some of the bath toys Gina kept there for when she used the Jacuzzi tub. "It's what ZeeZee says I am when she gives me sugar and I feel bouncy like that now.

Then the English term registered in her mind and Regina rolled her eyes affectionately for what her sister must be teaching Emma when she wasn't watching. "Full of energy then… well that's good. Today is going to be a busy one." She finished towel drying her hair adding a small amount of product to smooth her curls and moved to begin her make-up.

As Regina took out the make-up brush holder and bag of products from the drawer Emma's head popped up curiously. She watched as Regina began patting some kind of colored cream on her cheeks and then swirling it with a brush. "Gina why do you paint your face?"

Regina smiled at the term, feeling a twinge in her heart of Emma's choice of words as she finished blending her foundation. "Kathryn used to call it my war paint."

"Like the black stuff football players wear on their cheeks?"

"Of a sort."

"Is it for you though?"

"In a way, sure." Regina thought about it a bit more as she opened her highlighter. Her mask as Zee liked to call it was something she was adept at putting on since she was a teenager. "Sometimes people wear it for different reasons, but for me its part of my ritual for preparing for the day. Like a shield. When I wear it, for the office especially, I feel like I can do anything and no one can make me feel something I don't want to feel. So it is very much like war paint my little duck."

Emma thought about that idea and when Gina didn't wear makeup, which was when they were staying home or just out in the city on their own and promptly wrinkled her nose. She liked Gina's face without paint like that the most. "Will I gotta wear it when I get big?"

"No. It is not something people have to do, but some want to for their own reasons."

"People? So boys wear it too?" That idea had not crossed Emma's mind.

Regina paused at the question, already hearing just how Mother would answer and easily said the exact opposite. "Make-up, like everything else, is for everyone Emma."

"So all the people." Decided she understood Emma asked about another idea that came into her head that she never considered before. "So if I don't wanna wear dresses or skirts no more I don't have to, even though I'm a girl?" Gina had bought her lots of wonderful clothes and she didn't want to be ungrateful. She didn't really understand that word all the way, but she had heard Ms. Nelson tell other kids at the group home it was important not to be that way when someone gave you something.

Setting her brush aside Regina turned and leaned her hip against the counter. Emma was looking right up at her in such a serious way that she knew there was more to the question. Every time they had been shopping together Emma had easily taken to dresses and pants alike and the child's wardrobe was a mix of both. "No, you don't have to wear anything you don't like. I will always give you choices." Thinking about her lack of them growing up in that department. Always skirts or dresses at Mother's insistence and never pants until high school. Regina's fingers ruffled curls and dipped to lift a chin. "If you really don't want to wear skirts or dresses we may donate the ones you have and get you some other things."

Beaming Emma sat up and hugged a pair of bare legs tight. Then went right back to her duck toy on the rug without comment.

And that seemed to be the end of that for now so Regina changed the subject. "You have an important day today don't you?"

"The most 'portant!" Emma agreed and went on to practice out loud exactly what she would say to her class today.

Regina chuckled softly at the world of importance to a five year old. Who knew Show & Tell could be on the same level as a merger presentation or a script contract signing for publication. Emma had been with her to the office enough to pick up on shop talk and see the corporate world of publishing to make that connection. Little one was insisting on wearing _fancy_ clothes and not the standard jeans and a t-shirt to school just to show how serious this Show & Tell was.

As she put her mascara on Regina asked, "is your autograph book in your school bag or your yellow backpack?" Said book was the item to be shown off today. Since their first Broadway show they had been to two more and with her connections, Emma had gotten the autographs of each cast for The Lion King and Cats.

The yellow backpack used to be full of what Emma called worldly possessions. It was also one that they had had many talks about and small trials going without. Emma liked wearing a backpack to school and that helped the transition to not have the yellow bag everywhere they went. Emma insisted on keeping a pair of shoes and a change of clothes in it at all times, but the more important items had found a home in Emma's yellow bedroom. Like the bag of pennies into the apple bank she'd given Emma for Christmas and the baby blanket at the foot of the same bed Emma had slept in since then too. Still some days were better than others and others not so much, like Regina thought today might be with the wide eyed way Emma was looking at her right now.

"My book is in the yellow one, but I wanna take both bags today to school."

"Why is that Emma?" Regina thought she knew, but always asked just the same to give Emma a chance to voice feelings. This was a pattern she had noticed on days the girl had therapy after school.

"I want some of my stuff with me… just in case." Shrugging Emma went back to scooting the toy duck across the carpet she was pretending was the pond they sometimes visited in Central Park.

"I will be with you the whole time from right after school to your session. I have to wait in the waiting room, but I will be just down the hall for you when you come out and then we will come home like we always do." Explaining what to expect for the day as she always did. Emma thrived on knowing what to expect and any variance to what was said to come caused upset to the nth degree and they were still learning how to work though those moments when they happened.

"And then we get to order dinner 'cause it's Thursday and I take a bath and we read and then you tuck me in. Right?"

Regina smiled as she blended her blush. "That's right but you are missing one step. Can you think about what it is?"

Tapping a chin Emma's dimple then showed. "Dessert?"

"Always, but I was thinking more along the lines of homework sweetheart."

And Emma promptly stuck out her tongue at that, and let out a giggle when tickle hands came for her ribs. "Okay homework too! You win Gina!"

Standing again. "So you are only taking your school bag today then, yes?"

"Yes." Emma agreed now that they had their plan in place. Hopping up she wanted to go switch out bags with the autograph book, but stopped in the doorway and went back to the counter. "Can I have some of Kathryn's 'fume for good luck?"

Regina moved to the glass tray where she kept the perfume bottle in reference. On such occasions she allowed it or when Emma seemed to need a boost in confidence. Child was convinced it was magic and as such knew it was for special circumstances. "Hold out your wrist." She gave her own a spray and then rubbed hers with Emma's as the child grinned up at her. Little one insisted that sharing the 'magic' made it work better. "There all set. Go and get dressed and I'll meet you in the kitchen."

"Sin-a-man oatmeal and bananas?" Licking her lips Emma hoped so.

"If you like." Giving a kiss to a cheek as Emma scampered off, Regina went to her closet and got dressed. A pair of lavender slacks and cream sleeveless blouse with matching peep tow pumps came together quickly. She gave her curls a shake for a quick style she usually wore in the warmer months and returned to put on her signature burgundy lipstick just as she heard the doorbell ring.

Sighing as she blotted and capped the tube Regina headed downstairs to answer. Emma beat her to it though as her sister's cheery voice rang through the brownstone and Emma's whoop of joy followed in return. She had long since given Zelena a key, but her sister had insisted on working to respect her privacy (a New Year resolution it seemed) and made it a point to ring the bell.

Every single time.

As Regina began descending the last staircase of the brownstone to the ground floor she stepped on the tip of a red converse laying there. Pausing for balance she bent to pick it up with a frown as Emma nearly rushed by her half dressed in a red blouse with a classic peter-pan collar, panties, and one sock. She caught the rush of girl about the waist and plopped right down on the step to sit with Emma near out of breath to stand in front of her.

"Hold on right there for a moment speedy duck."

"But ZeeZee is here." Emma wiggled with excitement. "And she's gonna do that special braid for my hair for my Show and Tell so I don't look like a bloody naff."

Brows joined. "A _what_?" Then Regina held up her hand before Emma could explain. "Sweetheart we do not say bloody or call ourselves names like that." Waiting for Emma's nod before she continued. "And Zee may wait a moment while we talk." She began, already planning the lecture for her sister about that phrase.

"Is this where you talk and I listen or we go back and forth?" Emma's head remained tilted like a puppy in question.

Regina kept her face on the softer side of serious when she just wanted to laugh at the cute gesture. "A bit of both. What have I told you about answering the door without me?" While the door bell sound no longer scared Emma and they had make great progress on that trigger not being one any longer (at least during the day), the child had done a complete 180 and loved to answer it. She had worked to establish some ground rules regarding the door and safety in general that Emma was still learning to remember.

"To wait for you." Emma lost some of her smile as she thought. "But I knew it was her 'cause she comes on Thursdays to take me to school and today is Thursday."

Regina shook her head and lifted a little chin. "Even so, you know to wait for me because that is the safe choice and I'd like you to do so in case it is not your ZeeZee. Alright?"

"Okay Gina." Then a red shoe was held up and Emma wrinkled her nose. _'Whoops a daisy,'_ she thought as one of Gina's dark brows went up.

"And what about leaving your shoes on the stairs and running up them for that matter?"

Emma squirmed under the redirection and rolled her lips in. She was getting more and more used to these types of talks without worry that Gina was gonna get mad at her or send her away. Still though they sometimes that made her tummy flutter. "Not too."

Patient for that slightly anxious look coming her way she nodded with a smile in agreement. Regina was learning the importance of taking time to thoroughly talk things through with Emma in a careful way so that her intent behind redirection was understood. Especially the why of her expectations. The one class she'd taken through DSS she had actually been somewhat impressed with was the one on the importance of communication. She prompted softly, "because why sweetheart?"

"Someone could get hurt and everything has a place to be and my shoes go in the closet or on my feet."

"Right you are little duck." A smile around the nickname that had found them at Christmas morning since Emma had gotten a pair of little ducky slippers from Santa.

"Do I hafta sit on the step now?" Pointing to the bottom step of the staircase where she sometimes went if Gina wanted her to think more about something important.

Regina shook her head. "No Emma. I can tell by the way you are talking with me and thinking about what we are discussing that you understand the importance. If there is a next time though, on any of these things, you will be." At the moment Emma was listening and readily answering as she expected without avoidance or a tantrum. Regina had implemented a modified version of a time out with having Emma sit out on the bottom step of whatever level they were on for five minutes. She also never left the area when that was the case, but rather waited out the time child needed to calm down or think before they talked further. Used sparingly it was effective and her go as a tool for redirection when it was needed.

With a nod Regina handed Emma the shoe. "Put this away in your closet please and walk up to your room to finish getting dressed." Kissing a forehead Regina stood.

Emma liked the way Gina always explained stuff so she could understand it and even when she did do something not so good, they talked about it so she could make different choices next time. More importantly she'd come to trust Gina completely. Emma thought about this as she walked most of the way before her feet couldn't help but be in a hurry and she took off again the moment she reached the top. She heard the sigh in her wake and turned to say _sorry_ really loudly so Gina could hear her.

Regina closed her eyes at the shrill apology yelled and chuckled. Closer they were getting closer, she kept telling herself and went into the kitchen to find her sister sitting at the island in the middle readily peeling the last banana in the house. Annoyed suddenly at the source and remembering what had come out of Emma's mouth she plucked the banana right out of Zelena's hand who promptly spun around.

"Oi! Meanie, I was going to eat that."

"And that is part of Emma's breakfast. Have an apple instead. I know how you adore the _red_ ones." Regina pushed the bowl over on her way to the far counter.

An auburn brow popped up over pouty lips. "Well good morning to you too Miss Grumpy-Pants."

"I am not grumpy and quit pouting. That only works when Emma does it."

"Where do you think I learned it and why the resting _that-word-you-hate_ face, and at me no less?"

Regina raised a brow in return with a smirk of her own and pulled out two full mugs under the cappuccino machine and offered one to her sister in silence.

Zelena took a sip and set it aside after. "Thanks, but seriously what is with the face at me and where is my little Monkey?"

"First of all I nearly tripped coming downstairs in spite of having more than one chat about shoes on the steps with your little Monkey only to hear something out of her mouth I wished I hadn't and more importantly since when are you teaching my child English slang?"

Zelena grinned brilliantly. "Since she asks what certain things mean. I'm broadening her horizons and all that fluffy crap auntie's are supposed to do." Waving her sisters frown away. "Relax. I certainly did not teach her the colorful side of it if that's what you are implying."

Sighing as she pulled out the oatmeal for Emma's breakfast Regina tried again. "I've asked you to temper your language in front of her. She's a sponge and picks up everything at this age and I do not want her speaking like that." And Zelena then had the good nerve to at least appear to take her seriously.

"What did she say exactly?" And the description coming from her sister nearly had her coffee coming out of her nose as she laughed. "God my mini me, I adore her!" Then remembering how she had muttered such a phrase, seemingly under her breath, when she and Emma had been waiting for Regina to finish up work in the office one evening last week. Her detective boyfriend Ambrose had texted with an unflattering photo of her snapped when she had not been looking that he insisted was beautiful and she outright told him exactly what she thought she'd looked like. Zelena reached for a napkin and wiped her mouth under the chiding look coming her way. Rolling her eyes."Right. I'll work on it."

"Thank you." Regina sliced the banana and moved to set the stove burner on low as the oatmeal began to cook. Right on time little feet came into the kitchen and went right to her sister with a brush and a handful of rubber bands. While she was plenty talented in the hair styling department, her sister topped her skill tenfold with something called a Dutch Flower Braid. It literally made Emma's curls into a woven flower, or in this case two, one on either side of the little one's head. As she cooked she watched Zelena weave the complicated braid with ease with a smile on her face. She loved how close those two had gotten.

"I love'em ZeeZee! Can we get chocolate coffee before school again like last week?" Emma turned around on her stool as her breakfast was set in front of her and picked up a spoon to dig in missing how the adults shared a look over her head.

Regina put her hand on her hip. "You are giving her _coffee_ on top of teaching her slang?"

Zee took her sister's hand and made a beeline for the door leading to the hallway. "We'll be right back Monkey and yes, we can get chocolate coffee." Once away from little ears she explained. "Before you get your knickers in a twist it's not _real_ coffee. It's hot coco. She wanted a coffee like mine last week when I picked her up. I was in dire need of caffeine and we stopped at a little roast shop near her school. When I told her no she began to have a wee bit of a meltdown in the shop and then those eyes of hers came at me and I couldn't say no, but I knew I couldn't say yes. So I took creative license and hot chocolate is her version of chocolate coffee."

"So she knows it is coco, but pretends it is chocolate coffee instead?"

"Right."

Sighing. "That's fine then, but Zee you can say no to her on occasion." Then softer as she squeezed her sister's hand in knowing. "She won't stop being your little Monkey if you tell her no."

"I know, but…" Trailing Zelena gestured to the kitchen. "She's been told no far too much in her life." Then with an impish pout. "And I want to be the super fun auntie. It's my job to spoil her and I'm not ready for my perfect track record to be broken." She knew it would be eventually, but not today if she had any say about it.

"While I agree with you that she has not had a lot of treats or people to say yes to her there is also a line between treating and spoiling, especially when she reacts like you said with the meltdown."

"Kill joy." Zelena teased and nodded reluctantly though. "I know you're right. You're her mum and I promise to respect how you want to bring her up." And she immediately registered the soft look coming to fill her sister's entire face.

"You seem to be the only one. Mother certainly has her own opinions." Souring at the very idea and more so at the many of them Mother had been sharing lately about how she was choosing to bring up Emma.

"Speaking of which have you thought about what you want Emma calling you? Gina versus Mom or Mommy?"

"Well—"

Then Zelena's voice took on a dreamy tone. "Even Momma or Mom?"

"Zee—"

"Or dare I hope Mummy? Has such a sweet proper ring to it if I do say so myself—"

"Zee!" A hand went up over her sister's mouth covering it with a pointed look back toward the kitchen. Her sister seemed to get the point and she dropped her hand and sighed. Thought about it, Regina dreamed about the moment her name was replaced with an entirely different affection. "It's discouraged until the actual adoption according to the classes I've taken, but it is also supposed to be on Emma's own timeline. So it's up to Emma at this point, and I have let her know its okay to call me a variety of things when she is ready."

"I'm done Gina."

Emma's call had them both going back into the kitchen as a spoon scraped the last of the oatmeal from the bottom of a bowl. Child took the bowl to the sink and hopped for the faucet knob, but couldn't reach it. Regina nudged over the stool they kept nearby for exactly that purpose and helped Emma rinse the dish and put it in the dishwasher. Then she dampened the corner of a kitchen towel and wiped the rest of Emma's breakfast from a fussing little face.

"I missed some?" Emma tried to hold still, but couldn't help but wiggle as she was cleaned up.

"A bit, but that's alright." Finishing up with Emma's fingers, Regina dropped the cloth in the sink. "Teeth and then it's time to go."

Emma grinned as big as she could right up at Gina and pointed to her mouth. "Here they are!"

Chuckling. "And they need to be brushed clean, silly girl. Go on." Lifting the girl down from the stool Regina sent Emma off with a gentle pat to the behind.

Emma smirked at what Gina called love taps. She didn't mind those or the way Gina did the same to her nose just now when she was being goofy. Five minutes later teeth were brushed and shoes on with her school bag and Emma was ready to go. She showed as much by tapping her foot as she'd seen Gina do when waiting for something for a long time.

"Do you have your autograph book?" Regina asked and got what she perceived to be an inpatient nod as she sorted her purse. "Are you sure?"

"Uh-huh. Can we go go go now?" Emma was getting excited to go to school and show Jasmine her hair on the playground before the first bell. When she had moved in with Gina she got to still go to the same school and not switch to another one which she liked 'cause Jasmine was there. Gina had said it was good for her to have con-sis-tency too, whatever that meant.

Zelena leaned down to pop a kiss on Emma's cheek. "There's plenty of time still yet Monkey. Now give a proper good bye to your Gina and we will get going. Both cars are out front and waiting."

Emma gave the tightest hug she could to Gina and received one and a kiss in return. "You'll be there on the steps for me after school?"

"I should be right after school and do you remember plan B if for some reason I am not right when you step outside?" Regina prompted. She had always been able to be so far, but like always she was a planner and wanted Emma to know that sometimes there were emergencies that may cause a delay.

"I go back inside and tell the office and wait on the bench there for you."

"Good girl that's right. Have a wonderful day and I can't wait to hear all about your Show and Tell."

Emma beamed and then spun around with her arms out gesturing to herself. "Do I proof-read good?"

Regina laughed and stood up. "Not a line out of place little duck." Emma's creativity never failed to make her smile.

 

**::::::::::::**

 

Regina was not smiling as she thumbed through the stack of files on her desk in her corner office. She was about halfway through them and well ahead of schedule to have them finalized by the end of the day for Gold, but he was a meticulous one. While she was a perfectionist, especially with the quality of her work, he was a hell hound for details and wanted nothing unturned. He also preferred her to proof every detail she had long since trained her team to do in her stead, but he was unwavering. She did it more to appease her Mother than anything who insisted she humor Gold for his connections. Regina still thought he was a jerk.

She took a sip of her lemon water as the buzzer on her desk sounded. Mary-Margaret Nolan's voice came over the intercom.

"Regina, Mrs. Mills is ready for your 11:30 meeting."

Regina rolled her eyes. Leave it to Mother to use her secretary to announce their meeting when they shared an office adjoining door and all Cora had to do was open it. While the woman was warmer toward her now that Emma was in the picture and they had their affection for the girl in common, Mother was all prim straight lines and business in the office. She pressed the button in return. "Yes, please assure her I will be right there." And stood taking a deep breath.

This conversation she had been dreaded the last week since putting it on her appointment calendar. Mother was not going to like her only coming to the office for three days out of the week. Getting Mother to agree to four had been a trial. Regina still produced the same amount of work and attention to detail, and had actually increased their last quarter's expected profit by an additional ten percent than projected from being able to be flexible on how and when she got her work completed. The numbers had just come out yesterday while Gold was in London. She was not sure yet if he knew. Still, Gold aside, Mother was Mother.

And liked to be in control.

Regina took a moment to smooth her slacks and check her hair in the mirror in the small lounge area of her black and white modern office. While she owned 1/3 of the company now with the merger, Mother still ran the lead of it with Mr. Gold vying for that very spot. What the man lacked for in a charming personality he more than made up for in connections. Overseas connections to be exact and their marketing opportunities expanded exponentially since bringing him on board.

Still, as Zee would say, he was a _right prick and a half_ to deal with on a good day.

Satisfied with her appearance Regina went to the adjoining door and knocked crisply twice right at the 11:30 mark before opening the door. A minute before or a minute after wouldn't do for Mother. Spot on was expected. She entered the red and white space. This office was always a bit chilly to her in more than temperature. Classic in English design with regal lines she felt like she was stepping into a formal tea room at Buckingham palace. Zee and Mother both shared that love for all things English in common.

"Ah, there you are Regina." Cora nodded to the chair across from her desk and waited for her daughter to sit before continuing. "What is it specifically that you wanted to meet about?" Then she leaned forward resting her hands on the desk at the hesitation she saw on Regina's face. "Is everything alright with Emma and the adoption?"

Regina blinked at the unexpectedly soft question. "Yes, everything with Emma is fine, thank you and the adoption process is right on schedule." And sat up straighter as the softness of familiarity left for business rigidity.

"Then what is this meeting about?"

Regina opened by putting the thick packet she'd prepared highlighting their company's financial gains the last quarter in front of her Mother and to what exactly she attributed it to. She stuck to facts and figures knowing Mother appreciated that approach to anything. Right before she got to the heart of the matter her Mother snatched that heart right from her. The packet though was slid back across the desk.

"I know our gains have been to your more than competent due diligence and I am appreciative truly. So much so that the bonus I promised has already been added to your account. Do it again next quarter and we will talk about adding a zero to your next bonus, but not a day sooner."

"That is not what I was going to ask." Shaking her head in mild frustration, Regina pursed her lips. Of course Mother's mind went to money. With a sigh she took back the packet she had spent hours preparing that had not so much been looked at. She wondered why she bothered.

"Then what Regina?"

"I am planning on scaling back—" Stopping abruptly when the intercom on the desk interrupted her. Mother's secretary announced the man of the hour just as a single knock sounded and Gold opened the main door himself.

"Ah lovely, I've caught you both at once." Gold's slick tenor filled the room.

Regina scowled a bit. She couldn't help it, but quickly schooled her features before turning around. Her Mother stood when he entered and so she joined the motion as he came toward them. The tapping of his cane, one she was not sure he even needed, annoyed her. He was a showy man in his custom tailored black suits and silk ties, but there was nothing soft about the man. Shrewd as they came, especially with money.

And to her disgust Mother smiled at him. Actually smiled.

Cora greeted, "what may we do for you Robert?"

Regina's head snapped back to her Mother, the papers in her hand crinkling. _'Since when are they on a first name basis?'_ She wondered and again schooled her features when she turned back to the oily man.

Mr. Gold and Mother had known each other since she and Zee had been teenagers and there was something about him she did not quite trust and had made her hesitate when Mother wanted to move forward with the merger. Regina had been married to her work at the time that process began and she did not want her Father's name tainted by this man if she were to withdraw her support for the company and go her own way. Mother needed her talents, had said as much and so she had begrudgingly went along with what her Mother had wanted. Now that she had a new perspective on life with Emma in it, work was not the most important thing any longer.

"I was just briefed on the end of quarter profits and I must say dearies, I am impressed." Gold lifted his chin and took a step closer to Cora as his lips mirrored a similar smile. "Your daughter is talented indeed."

"Both of them are." Cora amended and gestured to Regina. "We were just discussing the same thing."

"In part." Regina agreed. It was now or never. "I plan on increasing what we have accomplished by another ten percent next quarter and to do that I need a little more autonomy on my schedule than I've had."

"How exactly?" Cutting in, Gold tilted his head.

"Not that it is any of your business, but that is actually what I was discussing with her before you barged in."

" _Regina_." Cora admonished.

"No Cora that's quite alright." Gold confirmed. "She is allowed to have her opinion as partial owner of the company." Emphasis on the word partial and then his cane landed on the marble. Hard. "Just as I am a partial owner and I think we need to move forward full steam ahead with everyone on board like planned."

Seething silently Regina watched her Mother for a reaction.

"How exactly, dear, were you thinking of more… how did you put it?" Turning, Cora flicked her wrist in an impatient gesture. " _Autonomy_ over your schedule?"

Regina wanted to cross her arms at the bitter way that word rolled from that mouth, but thought better of it under Mother's eye. "I want to suggest a modification. I'd like to come to the office Monday through Wednesday and work from home the rest of the week."

"Why on earth would you do that when you have your team here as a support?" Gold cut in again.

Squaring her jaw and curbing her first remark, Regina tried to explain. "My team is more than capable, as I trained them to be, in handling certain day to day productivity. I am in the process of adopting and I need more flexibility to be with my daughter as we go through this transition." Especially with summer coming up. She did not want Emma in a day care five days a week after school. As it was Emma went to an after school program occasionally when she had afternoon meetings. Then mumbling. "Not that my personal life is any of your business."

"Actually it is dearie." He took another step closer to the mother and daughter duo as he further staked his claim. "When my business is being affected by your own."

The sly sneer gave Regina goose bumps and she swallowed that discomfort he caused down before squaring off. "My personal life has not affected my work. If anything it is what got you that 10% over the projected profit."

Cora raised her hand for silence. "And I see no problem with allowing this change of schedule as long as your productivity stays the same or increases. Surely we can come to that agreement as a collective whole. Deal Robert?"

Gold was quiet for a moment and Regina could see the calculating gears turning in his head. "With a slight modification." He gave the Mills daughter a once over. "We will try your proposed schedule." His finger went up quickly. "But if I feel _our_ business is being negatively impacted by _your_ personal business…" Pausing for effect. "I reserve the right to a vote from the board instead of just the three of us on just exactly what your role and responsibilities with the company are going forward. Do we have a deal?"

Regina lifted her chin more than sure of her own capabilities, but took a moment to really think through his offer. Half of the board consisted of his lackey men, a condition of the merger—loyal to Gold through and through—and if somehow she was deemed not to be fulfilling her responsibilities in full he could have them vote to have her step down as one of the CEOs. It was no secret he wanted to be her Mother's primary business partner and Regina was not a fool to see what the risk was. Still she was determined to have both her career and motherhood.

She was her Father's daughter after all.

Where he succeeded in having a balanced home life and career she would too. Regina refused to be like her Mother on the other end of that spectrum. So her hand went out. "You have a deal Mr. Gold." Her gut reaction wanted to pull away when he took her hand in a grip to shake, but she kept her grip firm. She stole a glance at Mother and was not sure exactly what that sharp amused expression was for; pride in accepting the challenge so readily or for being an idiot in doing so.

"Well now that is settled—" Cora began and promptly rolled her eyes at the intercom going off again.

Mary-Margaret's voice rang through the room. "Pardon my interruption, but Emma's school is on the line for Regina."

Cora pressed the button to reply immediately. "Put the call through to my line." And nodded to her now worried daughter to pick up the phone.

Regina shoved the papers under her arm to hold and cradled the receiver to her ear. After a quick intro by the child's teacher she began pacing as Emma's teary voice came over the line in a jumbled fashion. Not able to make out one word she began to coach. "Take a breath for me sweetheart so I can understand you." Waiting a full minute as Emma began to calm down under her prompts. "Now try and talk to me. Why are you crying?" Not suspecting Emma to be physically hurt due to the child's teacher initially being on the phone and not the school nurse.

Sniffling. _"I thought I had it but I don't and now everything is ruined! I can't do my talk without my book!"_ A gasp and another little cry.

Regina's heart pinched and her eyes closed. The autograph book. She should have checked as well as asked to make sure Emma had it for Show & Tell. "Sweetheart, it's not the end of the world." She began as Gold tisked behind her.

_"But Gi-na."_

And the way Emma broke her nickname in half as another stifled cry came over the line said it was the world to the little girl Regina was speaking to. Emma had worked hard on that speech and practicing the last few days for the _'biggest most 'portant presentation of the century'_. She rubbed her temple in thought. Zee was in meetings most of the day and Cindy, her house keeper of three days a week, was not working until tomorrow. No one else to go home and get the book to Emma, but her. Convenient or not, working or not, Emma needed her and come she would every single time. Regina glanced at the wall clock, ignoring the way Gold was studying her. If she left right now she could just make it home through traffic and to the school before Emma's Show & Tell.

"I'll bring it right over sweetheart and while you are waiting for me I want you to practice our calm down routine alright?" The slow counts of breathing they did whenever Emma was this upset.

 _"You will?"_ A sniffle and cough right along with a deep breath as asked.

"I will be there in the next hour little one. Give the phone back to your teacher and start your routine alright?"

_"Kay."_

Regina finished up with Emma's teacher and hung up. "I'll be out the rest of the day."

Gold scoffed. "This was exactly what I was afraid of."

Then the Evil Queen of publishing she was well known as made an appearance. "Shall I get you a blanket and teddy bear to clutch in your trembling Mr. Gold or are you able to be an adult about this?" Then nodding to her other partner. "Mother." And she promptly moved to leave through the adjoining door.

"Ms. Mills a moment."

His condescending tone and use of her surname in such a way made Regina stiffen. She gave him a raised brow over her shoulder in response, but kept right on walking.

"Be sure those financial quotes for the new contracts are on my desk in the morning. I need them promptly before we can move forward with any more deals."

She whirled on him with a ready comeback on her lips for the order and he came at her, bending to pick up the packet of papers she must have dropped in her haste, stopping less than a foot away from her. Gold held it out waiting and Regina went to take it from him, but he did not let go readily. Her brows pinched in brief question.

Low so only she could hear, he spoke, "are those bags under your eyes, a worried brow? Feeling exhausted are you?" Gold made a tisking sound. "Careful dearie. Just look at what motherhood is doing to you."

Fire in her eyes Regina yanked the packet back from him, fighting the urge to kick his cane out from under him. "You know nothing about me."

"Oh quite the contrary. You are your father's daughter and it was his undoing." Then he giggled in a ludicrous way only he could pull off before speaking up with an inclusive turn to Cora. "Surely you will prove us both wrong and be your Mother's daughter after all and help us take our company to the top of the industry."

Without a further response Regina turned sharply on her heel and was gone. Closing the adjoining door she leaned heavily against it as she caught her breath. The nerve he had shown burned in her blood. She would have everything; career, motherhood, family, all of it. Regina was not her Mother. And the more she thought about what he said the more she slumped against the door. What had he meant by her undoing? And about her Father? Gold was cryptic on a regular day without trying and she wondered over those words spinning with thoughts of getting to Emma as she went for her desk to get her work purse and stuffed his damn files into the side pocket. A sigh escaped knowing it would be another late night working to finish on time.

Gold was right about one thing however. She was every bit her Father's daughter. And a Mills never forwent a deal or lost one and Regina was not about to start.

**::::::::::::::::::**

**A/N – Updated every Saturday. Hope you liked the first chapter! Please let me know what you think. Lots of reveals coming soon about Emma!**


	2. Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N – Hi there and thank you for your warm welcome to this story last chapter! I hope you enjoy this one just as much if not more. Readers have asked/commented on if Gold was the source of angst in this fic. Yes he is in a few ways. I promise a happy ending and there is a reason for everything that happens involving him. There are a few mysteries in this for the reader to unravel. There are clues to each mystery in every chapter starting with this one which lays the rest of the foundation for Regina’s key relationships. :-)

**Chapter 2 - Memories**

**:::::::::::::::::::**

“Gina!” Emma threw herself into the open arms at the base of the school steps. Even though she had just seen Gina two hours ago when her autograph book was dropped off for Show & Tell, she got tons of kisses now just as she did then.

“Hello my little duck.” Regina never tired of Emma’s enthusiasm. “How was the rest of your day?” Asking as kids and parents alike mingled around them on the busy sidewalk. She counted herself more than lucky to be able to have that same sense of belonging with the child at her feet.

“Awesomesauce!” Tugging on that hand that held hers toward the waiting car, Emma beamed upwards. “Time to go home?”

Her heart still fluttered each time Emma said that word and Regina smiled. “Home soon, after your session with Dr. Hopper.” And Emma’s smile dimmed at those words and she squeezed that hand. “I know, sweetheart.”

“But I don’t like going there.” Pouting now and with it her foot wanted to stomp, but Emma left it on the ground when Gina cupped her chin.

“Hey now, look at me.” Waiting until she had those expressive eyes on her. “It’s only until when?”

Toeing the concrete when they paused at the curb Emma repeated a well used phrase. “Until we share a last name.”

“Mmhm. We are already a family. We don’t need a judge or a piece of paper to tell us that.” Regina rubbed a thumb along a cheek as Emma began to brighten again. “And how close are we to sharing a last name?”

Emma remembered their calendar on the fridge. The one that had their week laid out real big in easy words she could read and then the smaller one under it for the month ahead of appointments and events. That one had pages that moved to new months and they had counted the months until the Big Day just last weekend. “A few months.”

“And tonight after dinner you can mark the calendar with another X to show we are one day closer. Until then there are a lot of rules we need to follow and things to do to make sure we are ready for our Big Day. Your weekly sessions with Dr. Hopper are one of those things Emma.”

While Regina understood the process of adoption and this addition a necessary evil she hated how it was affecting Emma and being a little girl Emma did not always understand that. While Dr. Hopper was a pleasant patient man and highly skilled, Emma almost always left those sessions in a sour mood and the aftermath on such nights was something she was still learning to help support Emma through. Sometimes Emma was quiet, other times a teary mess, and others still a bundle of upset that could go in any direction. Resting memories stirred and poked in that little head always had a price.

Emma mulled this over as she was led to the car. She waved to Charming and she liked how he tipped his hat and smiled like the prince she imagined him to be. He and Mary-Margaret were fostering her best friend Jasmine and because she was in kindergarten she got out an hour earlier than the fourth graders did, so Charming usually dropped them off and came back for Jasmine. Emma was really happy that her friend was in a good home like she was. She was buckled into her car seat and Gina sat next to her. The big work purse was put between them. Hungry now, Emma dug into the side pocket looking for her snack but there were a bunch of papers in her way.

“Careful sweetheart.” Regina took the purse back on her lap and pulled out an apple she’d grabbed from her fruit bowl at work and a bottle of water from the console across from them to give to little waiting hands.

Emma happily chewed her snack and chattered about her Show & Tell on the way to see Dr. Hopper. Then curious she asked. “What’s the papers for? Is it homework?”

“In a way, yes.” Regina looked up from skimming a file and making a note. In the traffic to pick Emma up on time she had made a small dent in the pile. “Speaking of which, do you have any?”

“I gotta read the list of words to practice.” Mentioning something called sight words she had to do each night. There was a new list in her backpack to do and they looked hard. Emma watched as the files went away then and that very sheet pulled out and remembered they usually tried to do homework before her session on Thursdays, but other days they waited until they got home. When Gina pointed to a word she recited. Some come out correct and others not, but with help she got through the hard words a few times before the car stopped.

Emma felt her tummy tighten at the familiar door and stoop of what kids in her old group home called the Quack’s Office she could see through the window. There weren’t any ducks in there so she wasn’t sure what that meant and had told ZeeZee as much this morning when they had gotten her special chocolate coffee that wasn’t coffee. ZeeZee had said that some doctor’s were quacks, but not all of them and that’s where the word came from. She wondered if her doctor was one and if so, how to tell if that was the case.

Out of the car and up the steps she went holding Gina’s hand. Emma was signed in and then given a hug before she had to go with Dr. Hopper into the play therapy room. It was full of toys. Some of them Emma liked. Others she was not sure what they were for, but she never really played with them. Today she went to the art table instead of the pretty colorful rug in the middle to sit. She sat in one chair and saw a brand new box of markers. Gina had bought her markers and she had some at home she liked to make pictures with. Then Dr. Hopper was talking to her and Emma looked up from the blank paper on the table. “Huh?”

Archie Hopper adjusted his glasses as they slipped down his nose at the little blonde across from him and smiled. “I asked how you are doing since our last session?”

Emma frowned remembering that one. He had asked her what scared her and she had said the dark, the door bell noise—but only at night—being alone and the stove and then the scary voice and pictures showed up in her mind again; a movie she didn’t want to watch and did not know how to pause or turn off. She had refused to talk the rest of the session. That night she hadn’t talked much at all. Even to Gina.

She itched her forearm over the raised pink scar thinking about the stove and their last talk. The scary voice and images were almost there in her mind, but not quite yet. Dr. Hopper’s eyes went to her arm and Emma promptly dropped it under the table and answered. “I’m fine.” She just had to talk a little bit and then Gina would take her home. Then Emma brightened at the other promise of the day that pushed the dark thoughts away. “It’s Thursday so we get to have takeout for dinner and I always get to pick.”

Archie penned a note with a smile. “And what will you pick to eat?”

“Duh! Chinese. I like the slippery noodles, but Gina says I have to have pro-tein with it too.” Emma sat up some and reached for a red marker on the table. “I get chicken and not fish. I don’t like to eat fish.” Her tongue poked out of her mouth to show as much and Dr. Hopper laughed, but not at her. Just at what she did to be silly. Emma knew the difference. Maybe this guy wasn’t a quack or so bad after all. She could easily talk about food all day long.

“Do you and Gina ever cook together?”

A big grin slipped on a little face as Emma began to relax. She uncapped the marker. “Uh-huh, but only I get to call her Gina and sometimes ZeeZee, but really only me.

“I beg your pardon.” Archie made another note and flipped the page of his notebook as Emma began to draw something.

“I like giving people nicknames too. Like the guy who drives us places. I call him Charming and his wife is Snow White.” The marker hovered over the paper as Emma stared at him for a long moment, deciding something. “You’re kinda like the nice buggy in Pinocchio who helps people talk about stuff. What’s his name?

“I believe it is Jiminy Cricket.”

And the marker was moving across the page again. “Yeah that’s you.” Having figured him out in her mind Emma felt her tummy loosen.

The Doctor smiled at the easy sharing. It had taken nearly six weeks, the first two of which Emma did not say a word to him, but Emma was starting to open up a bit more each session. Regina had mentioned the child liking art the last time they had spoken and he promptly switched tactics this session in hopes of making some progress on the main reason they were here. There was one particular CPS report in the child’s file he was tasked with helping Emma work through.

“What kinds of things do you cook?” Archie listened to quite the extensive list and at the end prompted carefully. “When you are cooking with Regina does the stove ever bother you then?”

Emma scribbled harder on the paper, brow pinched in concentration and she shook her head no. “Gina says I can’t use it alone or touch it to play with and I don’t want to anyway. She uses it and she doesn’t scare me.”

Penning another note. “How does the stove scare you then?”

“Only if I get too close to the top part, but Gina keeps me safe so I don’t do that.” Answering, Emma switched out red for black. “Do you like to cook?”

Rolling with the question Archie answered with a few of his favorite dishes. They talked some more about different kinds of food before Emma suddenly grew quiet and stared at the picture on the table.

Her heart started to go faster as Emma looked at the drawing. Her hand went to her arm again to rub the scar. Red and blue lights flashed in her mind’s eye at the memory. The lady yelling mixed with her crying. The scary images and sounds were pounding between her temples. The searing heat. The sick smell. All of it flooded her senses as she felt her body flush with sweat.

Foster lady number five had said never to tell or Emma would get it. She was not sure what that meant, but she knew it must be really, really bad and Emma wished she would never get what ‘it’ was. She hadn’t told. Even when the doctors said they didn’t like the burn or bruise she had on her other arm. They said it looked like someone had grabbed her. Still Emma didn’t answer their questions and that must have been the right thing to do because she got her wish and did not see that lady again.

“Emma?”

At the kind tone Emma reached for the paper and balled it up, now angry at having to talk about something she didn’t want to remember. Something that made her heart and head hurt. Tears blurred the room and she sniffed them back. Other kids had said not to cry in front of the quacks. Something about having to take pills for it and Emma hated medicine. Then she ‘membered to use her words like Gina said instead of throwing the paper like she wanted to. “I don’t wanna talk no more.”

Archie closed the notebook with a reassuring tone. “Okay Emma.” He pointed to the table across the way. “There is some brand new play dough in that box. How about you play with that for a little bit while I go finish up with Regina alright?”

“Kay.” Emma readily slid out of the chair and went across the room more than done with the session and the chirping cricket.

The man took up the crumpled ball went to the door and waved his assistant in to sit with Emma while he took a few minutes to take in the drawing. Archie worked open the tight paper ball it and with a frown he went to get Emma’s foster parent in the waiting room. The brunette was thumbing a thick stack of papers there in one of the chairs. “Ms. Mills?”

Regina jerked her head up in surprise and she glanced at her Apple watch. “Is she done so soon?”

“Not quite.” Archie said and gestured to the hall with a nod. “I’d like to debrief with you first, if you don’t mind.”

That was also a surprise and a concern. Putting the files away, Regina stood to follow him into his small but tidy office. She expected Emma to be in here and finding it empty she looked around and felt her stomach cramp. “Is Emma alright?”

Only having been called back to talk with him once before a few weeks ago when Emma had burst into tears in the middle of a session and he had not been able to calm her. Child had shared about a time cops had come into one of the foster homes in the middle of the night. A night documented in Emma’s file as a drug bust and Emma had been taken to a safe house after having woken to strangers taking her from her bed. The night after that reveal Emma hadn’t left Regina’s side and neither of them had gotten any sleep through the nightmares that followed.

Regina eyed the room with the one couch and coffee table with a desk and chair in the corner. Pictures of what she assumed were his family and small trinkets were placed in a pleasing manner all about. While Dr. Hopper’s office had a homey feel unlike some of the more sterile clinical ones she’d been in before, these offices made her uncomfortable. Regina had been in them a few times throughout her life for grief counseling and while she genuinely thought he meant well, this felt too familiar in all the wrong ways as memory pushed in…

 

_“Shall we try talking today Ms. Mills?” Dr. Ruth said._

_“Regina. Just Re-gina.” Insisting on her name that cracked in the middle of her dry throat._

_Scribbling on paper. “Regina then. Would you tell me about why you are here?”_

_Regina took a slow breath as that pen moved on a notepad across the way. This was her third attempt in the last four months since Kathryn… and a new therapist each time in hope that something would help her be able to speak. To get some of this feelings haunting her out so she could get some sleep. But talking about it made it real. Zee was worried and Mother too and for them she was trying._

_She tried staring at the carpet from her seat on the couch of the therapist’s office. Thorough her sunglasses Regina thought it appeared beige, but really couldn’t tell. Not that it mattered. Nothing mattered anymore. She didn’t want to be here talking to this woman about her feelings. Not when she didn’t feel anything at all. Numb her heart and mind were since the car accident._

_Regina liked the shades. Had been wearing them since the funeral. They kept the world out, a shield from the brightness of reality that had stolen her love away. She had seen everything about the accident from her perch on the front stoop of the brownstone waiting for Kathryn to come home from work so they could take their evening walk together before dinner. The way the light changed at the corner from green to red as she stood up to wave. Regina saw the white truck that went when it should not have. Fast too fast and it crashed into the driver’s side door of the beat up yellow Volkswagen Bug Kathryn refused to replace. They could more than afford it, and Regina didn’t think the tin can was anywhere near safe, but Kathryn insisted on sentiment for the classic had since high school. Yellow beetle flipped to roll as screams had rolled from her mouth. Regina had seen everything she loved lost much too clearly with her own naked eyes._

_Dr. Ruth tried again. “Are you alright?”_

_She nodded, forcing a her mask into place with a smile. But Regina was not that word. Not at all…_

 

“Ms. Mills are you alright?” Archie asked as the woman in front of him blinked rapidly.

The room was thick around the edges and Regina cleared her throat, nodding once sharply. “It’s just Regina. And yes I’m alright.” Though she wasn’t quite yet, but she sat anyway deciding to take the chair by the desk and leave the couch for him.

Archie shut the door not missing the chosen seating arrangement, but went with it easily enough. “Emma’s playing right now. My assistant is watching her. She’s doing okay for the moment, but she did get upset.” He reached into his notebook and took out the crumpled page to hand over. “And she drew this.”

Taking the paper Regina stared at the red and black squiggles that vaguely resembled two people. One small and one big. They were in what appeared to be a kitchen since there was a something like a box with circles on top. The big stick figure stood over the small one and had its mouth open and red marks were coming out of the mouth. The smaller figure had arms crossed over the head and blue dots on the face Regina guessed to be tears. The cramping in her stomach turned into twisting and Regina set the drawing on the table between them as Archie explained the most basic parts of the conversation he had with Emma about fears.

“This is not usually how I do things.” He wrapped up, clasping his hands together as the woman remained staring at the drawing.

“Then why show me at all?” Regina snapped suddenly irritated with him, clear on exactly what she thought about being kept in the dark where Emma was concerned.

“Because I wanted to know if Emma has drawn anything like this before?” Getting a head shake, Archie continued. “If she does, will you please share it with me?” A nod followed that statement and he knew he had offended in some way. There were rules he had to follow as Emma’s therapist when the child was a ward of the state no matter whose care said child was in. “I know the system, how it works, does not seem fair. My intent is to help Emma and also to help you help her, but my choices on the latter are limited. I just thought you should know Emma had a rough go of it today. You know a little about our goal for these sessions. It is a good sign that she is starting to open up about the incident.”

“The abuse Dr. Hopper.” Regina gave him her eyes then. “Let’s call it what it is.” Anger returning over the lack of a full conviction for the woman in question that had scarred Emma in more ways than one. “A lost license to foster is a slap on the wrist for what that monster put my daughter through.”

Archie quirked a brow and sat back regarding Regina with new interest. “You must have some connections in DSS or the police department then to know that much.” Neither confirming nor denying that information he was privileged to and he knew to be true. Not allowed to discuss details of a therapy session with foster parents unless the child was deemed harm to self or others he was bending the rules to share what he did today. But something about Emma and this woman made him want to do just that.

“I do actually and an amazing sister who knows her way around both.” A small smile for the fact and Regina relaxed a bit when Dr. Hopper smiled back. Then nodding to the picture and feeling the need to ask. “What do I do?”

“About the picture? Unless she draws more like it, nothing.” Taking it back and slipping it away into his notebook. “About Emma specifically… Exactly what you are doing. She’s making progress.”

Shaking her head at the last several weeks of subtle behaviors and differences in Emma since therapy began, Regina pushed. “So an increase in nightmares, bed wetting, and separation anxiety are considered progress?”

“It is. Especially if the child in question has been through trauma like Emma and is just now in a safe consistent place with an adult she trusts to finally deal with it.” At the eyes misting ahead of him Archie leaned in clasping his hands in front of him. “I know it feels like you are going backwards in some way, but this is a good thing. Emma’s a very lucky little girl to have you on her team.” Standing then when she did.

Regina adjusted her purse only half satisfied with his answer and wanting to see that Emma was alright as he said with her own eyes. “I’d like to take her home now Dr. Hopper.”

“Of course.” He went for the door and opened it. “And Ms… Regina. If you would ever like to make an appointment for yourself, just to talk, I am accepting new patients.”

Regina’s brow rose as she regarded him and surprised herself with her first response instead of an outright no. “Isn’t that against policy?” She was well versed with the rules and protocols governing her existence with Emma for the next few months. In this convoluted system she wanted nothing to get in the way of the day no one could separate them or tell her how to raise her daughter.

“Not if you were to make an appointment on your own and we didn’t discuss the details of Emma’s sessions.”

Regina was curious at the offer and just why he was making it, but not ready to go there in the least. “I’m fine. It’s Emma I’m worried about.”

“Of course.” Nodding Archie took the hint to leave well enough alone for now and led the way to the playroom door where his assistant and Emma were waiting. “Until next week then.”

 

**::::::::::::::::**

 

Emma remained quiet on the ride home and well through the take out dinner ordered in spite of Regina’s gentle attempts at conversation. As Regina loaded the dishes in the washer Emma sat at the island tracing circles on the marble counter top. She eyed the circling that was accompanied with a yawn as she wiped her hands and decided that perhaps Emma was overly tired to boot. She more than was too. Making a decision to be done with the day Regina folded the towel neatly to place by the sink. “Let’s get you cleaned up and we can cuddle up with our book a little early tonight. How does that sound?” Suggesting an activity she knew Emma enjoyed as much as she did. It had become part of their routine every night. One her late Father always made time to do with her and Zelena no matter how busy he was.

Emma brightened and then her nose wrinkled. She wanted their book right now, but not what it meant to get there. “I don’t wanna bath Gina.”

“You didn’t want one last night either and I said you could skip with the deal that you would have one tonight sweetheart.” Moving to the island and leaning on her forearms to be eye level when Emma’s dipped lower. “Do you remember that deal?”

Nodding. “But I don’t like the deal now.” Emma slipped from her chair and moved over to bury her face into Gina’s stomach in a hug. “I just wanna read instead.”

“And we will, after your bath.” Rubbing tension from small shoulders and wondering over the near shrill whine now vibrating through her blouse. “Come on little duck. Let’s get those wings of yours clean, hmm?” Regina could feel Emma smile some against her at the use of the nickname and began to move them towards the door.

“Nuh uh.” Another whine as her hand was taken and Emma promptly sat on the floor slipping it. She really didn’t mind the idea of a bath. She liked those, but was tired and wanted their book and snuggles and to not feel the wild feeling spinning her tummy around in circles anymore. Like it did every time after talking to Dr. Hopper. Emma was tired in a way she didn’t know how to explain. Not droopy eye tired, well maybe just a little, but tired of feeling everything about the scary memory all over again. It wasn’t happening now, so why did it matter so much to talk about it now? Adults were strange that way Emma decided as she frowned at the tile she was sitting on.

Regina paused in thought of her first reaction which was to give in to Emma entirely just to erase the frown from that face. Her second thought and the more logical one was to have Emma sit on the step in timeout for not listening. Then she thought more about what her gut was saying to do. In the parenting books she’d been reading she remembered that children did well with choices and natural consequences when possible. While Emma was refusing direction she understood why. Emma was sleepy, but more so did not have a choice over therapy or the feelings that came with it. So Regina decided to give one instead. “Well then you may sit here for a while or we may go have your bath. Our book comes after the bath, so when you are ready, you let me know.” Emma promptly crossed little arms from her words and Regina moved to sit at one of the stools in wait to go through her e-mail. After a minute her phone rang. Glancing at Emma, she was tight lipped and not moving so Regina knew it would be a few minutes more at least. Then she looked at the screen.

_Mother_

Great.

And she answered. “Hello Mother.”

A pause. _“You don’t sound enthused to be hearing from me.”_

Regina rubbed her forehead at the crisp tone through the ear piece. “I’m not enthused at the moment, but it’s—“

_“Did everything work out with Emma and the school today?”_ Cora asked.

“It did. Thank you. I was able to get her autograph book there in time.” There was another pause over the line and Regina remembered why they did not talk much on the phone or at all really outside of work. “Is there something you need from me?”

_“Actually no, but I do have some good news. I took the liberty of helping to insure that things like today would have less of a chance of happening again.”_

_‘Uh oh.’_ Regina thought and sat up as her stomach turned over. Whenever Mother tried to be helpful things tended not to go well for her. “Dare I ask how so?”

Cora scoffed. _“I did you a favor truly. I reserved a place for Emma to attend Trinity School next fall.”_

Regina’s jaw dropped and for a moment the room turned white as memories of her own childhood attending the prestigious religious private school came flooding back. Mother seemed to take her lack of response for approval and continued on.

_“It’s close to your home and has a rigorous academics program as you well know. And with Emma’s needs she could catch up to her peers much sooner than at that school she is in now. They have door to door car service which would alleviate your having to pick Emma up so often—“_

“Stop. Just stop.” The command was out before Regina could remember to whom she was speaking.

Sharp. _“Regina.”_

“Please.” Regina shook her head and rested her hand over her face with a deep breath. “Stop helping. Trinity is not even on my list of choices Mother.” She had been looking into transferring Emma come fall once the adoption was finalized to a school closer to home. There were wonderfully rated public schools in her area and she did not think a private education was necessarily the way to go with Emma. And while Trinity school itself was fine, her experience of it as she remembered was not.

“ _Nonsense._ _I already put a deposit toward her reservation and the tuition. At the very least tour the school with her. I made you both an appointment for early next week. Your secretary has the details. Also, I wanted to encourage you to make the most out of the opportunity to work more closely with Robert. I know he pushed you into that deal today, but he has taken quite a shine to you and with your combined talents you would make an unstoppable team. I’m proud of you for holding your ground with him Regina.”_

Praise with a bite and Regina could not stomach it at the moment. Her mind was slammed with feelings she couldn’t sort quick enough. “Mother…” Then deciding now was not the time to have this talk when she remembered who was in the room and now tugging on her arm. Regina gave Emma a patient smile, rubbing that little back as she wrapped up. “I need to go. I’ll discuss this with you later.” And she hung up and pressed the ignore button when it rung immediately again. She was more than angry. Livid actually for a few different reasons and wanted to call Zee to vent. Another tug and Regina schooled her expression and gave her full attention to Emma. “Are you ready for your bath so we may have our cuddle time and read our book?” That idea sounded like the little piece of heaven she needed after today.

“Uh-huh.” Emma rubbed her eye suddenly sleepy. “Bubbles and rubber ducky too?”

“Yes sweetheart.” Lifting Emma to her hip and brushing her lips to a soft pink cheek. “I think this day calls for both bubbles and your ducky.”

 

**:::::::::::::::::**

 

“Mother certainly put you in a bad way didn’t she?” Zelena took a bite of her salmon filet and eyed her brooding sister across the table staring out the window. It was a wet and rainy afternoon that seemed to fit the mood her sister was in. She had barely managed to drag Regina out of the brownstone for lunch.

“Mother and Gold both, yes.” Sighing, Regina turned back to look at her plate. His words about her being her Father’s daughter running through her mind.

“Goldilocks aside for the moment, Mother called me last night in a complete tizzy demanding I talk some sense into you.” Another bite as she waited for a reaction.

Rolling her eyes Regina sat up. “And is your way of tricking me into the car away from a work deadline on a Friday afternoon talking sense?” Regina stabbed her kale salad with a fork. “Because this is not helping my stress levels.”

“I didn’t trick you. It’s not my fault you jump to conclusions so quickly.” Smirking when she’d shown up at the brownstone a half hour ago saying there was something outside that needed immediate attention. Zelena had all but tossed Regina’s ass into the car and driven them to her sister’s favorite restaurant. “This,” indicating the dry martini’s she’d ordered them both, “is how I talk sense and now that I’ve done my part you need to vent. So go on and have at it.”

Regina set down her fork with a sigh. “She’s doing it again Zee. She’s trying to make my decisions for me under the guise of being helpful. She nearly registered Emma at Trinity of all places and had the nerve to tell me when she and I would be touring it too.”

“And she makes it sound as if you won’t even discuss the idea at all with her.”

Regina finally reached for her martini at that news and took a sip to remove the bitterness forming there. “That is not the case I assure you.”

“I know.” And Zelena did know just how much their Mother could push. “And when it comes right down to it, Emma’s education is your choice GiGi.”

“It is. I just don’t understand Mother’s reasoning sometimes. Forgetting the autograph book has nothing to do with changing schools or insuring that I won’t be inconvenienced, as she implied, by having to pick Emma up at school.” Shaking her head Regina began to pick at her salad once more. “I enjoy getting her from school each day and Emma does to.”

“Just like we did when Daddy used to pick us up from Trinity.” Zelena confirmed.

“So you do understand my reasons.”

“I do and you have my support on the matter entirely. I also see Mother’s side of it.” One shoulder popped up and then down as she cut another bite to place neatly on her fork. “She wanted the absolute best for us both and made sure we had it. I expect she just wants the same for Emma.”

“You would see it her way.” Said with a teasing and knowing tone.

“Course! That’s why I am such an ace lawyer.” Zelena smiled back proudly. “Perspective and seeing two sides is my forte.”

Regina smirked and covered her mouth with her hand as she finished chewing. Then she grew serious again as another thought entered her mind. “How much of that was your choice Zee?” Her sister’s posture immediately stiffened.

“I love what I do.”

“As do I and I’m not saying you don’t, but how much of anything growing up or even in college was our choice?” Seeing she had caused a train of thought under those bright red waves so much like their Mother’s, Regina continued. “This is what I mean with Mother. She means well sure, but in a controlling and manipulative way.”

“That’s just how Mother is. You know it, I know it, and Daddy certainly knew it because he chose to sleep next to the harpy every night for almost forty years.” Zelena grimaced over the image just as her sister did.

“That doesn’t mean she gets carte blanche over our lives.”

“In Mother’s mind that’s exactly what it means. She shows her love through control GiGi. I’m not saying it excuses her actions or makes them right, but it does make her a hell of a lot easier to deal with when you realize her interactions with us will never be about us. It’s all about her. It sucks balls. Big time, but I’ve accepted it and I should know. I spent a fortune on therapy doing so.”

Regina’s head shook, not entirely accepting that answer. “When we were kids did you ever want to do anything else with your life other than the course she set your feet to?”

Zelena tossed her hair back over a shoulder and sat up rather primly. “Children want a lot of things, but some are not necessarily the best for them.” A perfect imitation of their Mother’s tone.

A brief chuckle and an eye roll. “Come on Zee. I told you what I think now I want to hear what _you_ think.”

“Fuck what we think. That never got either of us anywhere with her now did it?” Picking up her Martini to take a sip Zelena sighed over Regina’s unrelenting stare. “Fine. But I think we need another cocktail if I am going to answer that question honestly.” Said in all seriousness as she nodded to their waiter with a wrist flick to their drinks. “But no. As controlling as Mother is she had me pegged correctly on that regard from day one. I have always wanted to be a lawyer. Daddy used to also say I was good at arguing my way into and out of anything.”

“So you never wanted anything else than what you are doing right now.”

“Well nothing is set in stone. Maybe one day I’ll settle down, get married to prince charming, do the whole Stepford Wife and Mum bit while looking smashing doing it.” She laughed as Regina snorted.

“I hardly see you as a Stepford Wife type.”

“It is kind of ridiculous isn’t it. The whole vacuuming in heels with pearls thing and in a girdle no less.” Zelena’s nose wrinkled over the idea reflecting as she took another sip. “Do you remember when we were both looking at collages and I had been accepted to Oxford in their law program?” Even thought they were a year apart in age, Regina had skipped a year in primary school and from that point on they had planned their after high school adventure together.

Regina nodded and then again to the waiter in thanks who refreshed their drinks. “How can I forget? You nearly shattered the windows screaming in happiness, but what does that have to do with this?”

Zelena grinned at that memory fondly, but took a slow breath anyway. “I was excited for more than just getting into Oxford for it being _Oxford_ , but because it meant being away from New York for so long.” Her eyes suddenly filled with past ache. “I know you resented my leaving and not joining you here, but I needed to get out and find out who the hell I was without her constantly trying to define that for me.”

“Zee.” Regina reached taking her sister’s hand. “I didn’t resent you for that or at all for that matter.”

Scoffing. “Well your four months of the silent treatment said something very differently at the time.”

“You trashed all of our plans without so much as a heads up you were going to do so and slapped me with Oxford when I didn’t even know you had applied. I reached out to you after a month.”

A challenging look. “And if I had told you I wanted to apply would you have let me do so without the same guilt trip?”

Silence.

Zelena sighed. “I didn’t think I would even get in and I didn’t want to say anything when I was 99 percent sure I wouldn’t get my foot in the door. That acceptance letter came as a complete shock to me and I just couldn’t not go.” She went back and forth between her sister’s eyes seeking understanding. “After a month of you not talking to me it was my turn to be mad at you and when I was ready to talk you were not.”

Regina shook her head. “I was mad at the wrong person.” A deep breath. They had never really spoken about those months. Four of the near longest in her life until Zee had come home for Christmas holiday that first year. Mother had insisted she meet her sister at the airport and Zee had come out to baggage claim a whirlwind of lively energy. She could feel the sense of freedom coming off her sister in waves and had said so in the moment. Then they had picked up as if they hadn’t spent the time apart in complete silence. It was easier than addressing the quiet hurt. “We had always planned on going to college together and when you decided to go out of the country I didn’t know where that left me and then Mother turned her complete focus on me. She was suffocating to say the least. I just did not know how to handle it well and I took it out on you.”

Another sip of a martini and Zelena couldn’t help herself. “If this is you apologizing you bloody well suck at it.”

“Well I’m sorry for sucking and the other thing.”

Softening. “I am too. I’m still a bit sore over it, but I didn’t know how bad it was for you. She’s like a dog on a bone that one.”

And as if on cue Regina’s phone buzzed in her purse in a pattern they both well knew for who it was. Regina reached down to look at the screen briefly for a message and silenced the annoying buzz. “How she does that I will never know.”

“My theory is when we were puppies she had us chipped with microphones and tracking devices.”

“I wouldn’t put it past her.”

“What’s Mother hen clucking about now?”

Regina sat back in her chair taking her martini with her. “She wants to know if you have done your job convincing me about Trinity yet.”

“What was that?” Cupping her ear. “All I heard was Charlie Brown’s teacher—blah, blah, blah.”

Laughing Regina shook her head. “I’ll be sure to tell her you were incredible detailed in your bullet points and slideshow so she stays off your case about this whole thing. It’s my problem. What Mother did, when I was in college and now, is something I need to deal with and address with her.” Regina affirmed. Gold too, but that was a challenge for another day. “But right now what matters to me is that the air between us is clear.”

Zelena gave a half smile. “It is if it means that you’re paying for lunch?”

“It does.” Picking up her martini for a toast. Regina tapped their glasses together in forgiveness. “ _If_ you’d have given me a chance to grab my purse at home.”

“Right.” Moss colored eyes rolled fondly. “Rain check then.”

Regina gestured to the window where rain slapped the glass. “We’ll have to or you’ll melt.”

A laugh. "You'd best bust out an umbrella then otherwise you'll have to tell my little Monkey why her auntie is suddenly a puddle at your feet."

"Knowing Emma she'd jump right in it without a second thought as to who it might be." A fond smile. "Speaking of Emma are we all set for the hearing next week?"

"As set as we can be paperwork wise."

"And the judge, you know him?"

Zelena ran her hand through her hair as she finished her drink. "I know of him and my friends I know who work in family law that I have spoken with say he's all about what is best for the child so your intent to adopt should be approved without a hitch." Then she leaned forward. "Try not to worry so much. By this time next week we will be one step closer to making Emma an official Mills."

Regina only nodded as Zelena got their waiter's attention for the bill. She hoped it was that simple. She needed it to be and more importantly so did Emma. As grateful as she was for her sister's support, Regina wished Kathryn was here telling her these things. Here by her side for the whole experience. Together as they had said they would when they found the right child for them. In this case Emma had found her and as much as she missed her wife, her daughter had given her heart a reason to love again. Emma had turned her grief into hope and Regina hoped it was enough to keep their family together. That was not her decision though and that out of control feeling did not rest easy in her heart. But Zelena seemed sure everything would go well. The papers were in order and she had complied with everything the state had asked her to do in regards to Emma. Small and even fragile now as their family was, it was their own special love and she was not going to let go of it for anything. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N – Next chapter our mystery with Emma begins! Hope you are liking this so far.
> 
> Also, Cora will come around in this eventually. She and Regina have a few things to work out first they have been avoiding.


	3. What If?

**::::::::::::::::::::**

**Chapter 3 – What If?**

**::::::::::::::::::::**

The next week flew by and was just as full as could be. Emma was starting to get excited for school to be out at the end of next month and Regina had reluctantly compromised with Mother’s _request_ to tour Trinity in the early part of the week. Though, she had not taken Emma with her as Mother had wanted much to the woman’s dismay.

However, that was the last thing on Regina’s mind today as she sorted through the pile of papers on her desk. It was a welcome distraction to her thoughts on the Adoption Intent and Termination of Parental Rights Motion hearing scheduled this afternoon at 4:00. While she was nervous, Zelena said everything was a formality and in order. She was grateful her sister was helping with the paperwork in the adoption and guiding the process.

The day could not go quick enough for Regina’s liking however, and by 11 am she was only growing more anxious. She had been staring at the top paper for the last ten minutes as her thoughts ran on loop for all the possibilities for the outcome of the hearing. Deciding she needed a break and perhaps an early lunch she stood to get her purse to do just that when there was a knock on the adjoining door to her office and it opened.

“Regina do you have the April contracts file?” Cora held out her hand expectantly as she approached the desk. Eyeing the purse. “Leaving again?”

Trying not to roll her eyes, Regina opened her top drawer and handed over the file requested. “I am just about to step out for lunch.”

“So soon in the day?” Cora took the file and tucked it under her arm with a gesture for Regina to follow. “Come with me a moment. I’d like to speak with you.”

And with another sigh Regina reluctantly followed. “If this is about Trinity again I am not ready to talk anymore about it with you.”

“You’ve gotten the registration packet I had sent over then?”

“Yes, I just—“

“Then take all the time you need dear.” Cora gestured to the seat across from her as she perched on the edge of the desk. “That is not what I want to discuss with you.”

Seeing she was not going to get out of whatever conversation this was about and out to an early lunch anytime soon Regina tried to keep a cap on her frustration to a minimum. She felt like a wayward child in the principal’s office under Mother’s gaze. It was a feeling she had experienced often as a child and even a young adult. Right now she was not in the mood to feel it again so she remained standing.  “What is this about then?”

“It’s about the deal you made with Robert.”

Regina felt her stomach cramp. “You mean the one you said absolutely nothing about when he inferred I was unable to handle both my career and being a mother to Emma?” To her Mother’s credit she looked taken aback by the last thing she said and Regina wondered if perhaps Mother had not heard Gold’s insinuation after all.

“I am talking about the deal and not whatever worries you have right now about the hearing today Regina.”

Oblivious then. Clearing her throat Regina was suddenly more than done with their talk already. Getting right to the point. “What about the deal?”

“I have the utmost faith you two will make an incredible team, but you need to learn how to work together with him and not against him. He has a brilliant mind for business and so do you, but in different ways. As I’ve said you may learn a lot from each other.”

Regina crossed her arms. “I am not sure how when he is such a difficult man to work with. Besides that we have absolutely nothing in common.”

Cora chuckled. “You have more in common than you think. Did you know he adopted a little girl once.”

Eyes widened in disbelief. “What?”

“His niece after his brother died. Such a sweet quiet little thing. He brought her by the office a few times many years ago. Robert was in much the same position you are in now with Emma, balancing it all.”

Brows knitting Regina dropped her arms. “He’s never mentioned her or any of his family.”

Cora clasped her hands together over her knee and sighed. “It is a rather sore subject for him. His brother died leaving this side of his family business in a complete tangle and his daughter in Robert’s care quite suddenly. Later on a similar accident stole the life of his niece. Rather tragic really. His life has held a lot of loss.” Head tilting. “You two are more alike on that aspect than you realize. And with this deal, he’s only trying to help you remain focused Regina.”

“Well his idea of focusing and mine do not align in the least.” The comparison of her grief over Daddy and Kathryn to Gold’s plight was not something she felt was quite the same thing. But maybe Mother was right in one fact. Gold was a marketing genius and she had a head for numbers with an eye for best seller potential. Maybe if she could get him to take the stick out of his ass they could have some kind of a civil working relationship after all. “But I will take what you have said into consideration and see where it goes.” Mother’s smile for her effort was blinding and under that approval Regina smiled back.

“Good. Now that is settled here is the upcoming board agenda for the coming month.” A thick file was handed over. “I’ve attached a list of the financial documents and summary items we will need for my presentation.”

Regina took it and opened the top flap skimming the first page and her shoulder’s dropped. “Mother this meeting is tomorrow morning. I have a mountain of paperwork to do before then.”

“As have I, but these are your department.” Cora got up and returned to sit behind her desk. “I will order us in some take out from that bistro you like and we may have a working lunch.”

Feeling a headache coming on Regina tucked the file under her arm and nodded going back to her office. When the door closed she dropped her purse on the desk and the file before allowing herself to do the same in her chair. There was no way she would finish all she had to do in time for the hearing without a little help, though asking for help was not something she did easily. Fact was she never did it. Regina had a fully trained staff at her disposal to handle certain day to day operations she trained them to do, but the detailed profit projections, contracts, and risk analysis she preferred to do herself.

Her assistant was new to the company in the last year and had lasted the longest out of a long list of one’s prior she had burned through. But she was sharp and willing, if not a little spineless. At least Mary Margaret had been in the beginning. After Regina had learned of the Nolans fostering Jasmine she had made more of an effort to be civil and even friendly towards the couple. Still Regina was not one to make friends easily. Between her schedule and the few acquaintances she and Kathryn had, since the accident and her isolation in grief they had all but dropped off. After a moment of thought she pressed the call button on her desk and within seconds Mary Margaret’s was at her office door.

“Yes Regina?”

Looking up from the pile on her desk. “Going somewhere?” Regina gestured to the purse on MM’s shoulder.

“Mrs. Mills asked me to pick up the lunch order. I was just on my way to tell you I was stepping out.”

“And are you my assistant or hers?” Annoyed suddenly at her Mother’s breech of office etiquette. If she had ever requested such a thing from her Mother’s secretary heads would roll.

“Yours Regina. Of course.”

“Have the intern go and fetch it and if my Mother has any comments about it tell her it was under my direction.” Regina shifted through the files on her desk and with the other hand began opening the ones on her laptop. “I would like you to set aside the work you have for the next few hours and come sort though the items needed for Mrs. Mills’ board presentation tomorrow with me in here.”

A jaw dropped. “Um, work with you? In here?”

Regina looked up at that pale face with a raised brow. “Need I repeat myself or are you hard of hearing?”

“Yes.” Mary Margaret stumbled and blinked. “I mean no I heard you. I just…”

Tapping her nails in wait. “You just what?”

A small smile. “I just have wanted to do more for you, for the company than I have been.” Under the gaze that was not wavering MM kept going. “I mean I have learned a lot since being here from you and I am ready for more responsibility. I appreciate what extra you have given me to do so far and I signed up for the night classes that you suggested to close the gap in my skill set and I’m working toward…” And she stopped abruptly when a hand was held up for silence.

“You’re rambling.”

“I am?” Then MM straightened her spine. If it was one thing her boss hated it was incessant rambling. She had learned that the hard way early on. “I am. Sorry. I’ll just go get my laptop and arrange the lunch pick up.”

Regina went back to opening the files she would need as her assistant turned to go. “By the way I approved a raise for you just yesterday. It should reflect in your next check.” Then looking up at shocked eyes. “It should be more than enough to cover your classes and some extra. You’ve earned it.”

“That’s… Thank you! That will make all the difference.” A beaming grin from ear to ear. “I wasn’t expecting that, not that I’m not appreciative. I am truly. I am so excited to be able to—” MM paused under that stare. “I’m doing it again aren’t I?”

A thumb and finger was held up in a pinching fashion, Regina tried for patience and even a small kind smile. “Just a little bit.”

After MM returned the rest of the afternoon went by quickly. Together they were able to prep the materials for the board meeting and Regina was able to finish or original pile of work. She took Zelena’s offer of picking up Emma from school and that allowed her to even get ahead on tomorrows work so she would have more time with Emma in this evening. As she finished up Zee and Emma were off walking the top floor of the building while waiting for her to finish up.

Or were supposed to be. The door popped open suddenly and Emma ran in sooner than expected waving a list in front of her face. Emma was cute as a button in her Girl Scout Daisy uniform of navy pants, white shirt and vest complete with a little beret pinned to the top of two French braids.

When Emma had moved in and expressed the desire to join a club ( _she_ _could ‘cause she didn’t have to move never, ever again_ ) Regina had suggested a number of things. Emma saw cookies and uniforms with patches to earn in the same picture on a brochure and jumped at the idea. Little one was determine to sell the most and get the lead seller badge out of all the girls in the troop. The persistence and talent Emma had for working toward little goals like this reminded her of Kathryn’s work ethic.

“Looky! I sold hundreds!” Waving the list Emma climbed right up on a lap and held it in such a way so both she and Gina could see it.

The hundreds was actually closer to about sixty Regina estimated as she skimmed the list and raised a brow at the last name on the bottom. “You did wonderfully well sweetheart. Look at all these names.” Then she eyed her sister. “Even _Mr. Gold_ bought some.”

“Uh-huh. But he said if I didn’t ever ask him again he’d buy ten boxes and that seemed like a good deal cause he’s a really grumpy crocodile.” Ever blunt Emma called it like she saw it.

“Emma.” A small rebuke. “We don’t call names.” Regina said. _‘Even if they are true.’_

“Sorry.” Emma drawled. She popped a kiss of Gina’s cheek to show so and wiggled down to cross the room to the apple bowl on the coffee table.

Zelena smirked. “Emma insisted on going to _all_ the offices. While he was looking over the order sheet, Emma climbed right up on his desk to get a better look at all the old trinkets he keeps up on there.”

“And you let her didn’t you.” An evil smile.

“Course I did.” Zelena chimed proudly. “By the time he noticed she had half of them stacked and rearranged. Old bugger was as put out as if he’d gotten a surprise audit. Serves him right for the ten box bit he said to Emma. He’s a Richard the Third, that one.”

A dark brow for the term. “Richard the _Third_?”

“You know.” Whispering. “Gold’s a turd.”

“What’s a turd?” A little question from all the way across the room.

Regina pinched the bridge of her nose and gave a sharp look to her sister. “Little ears Zee.”

To Emma. “Nothing and don’t repeat that.” Zelena tried to soothe ruffled Evil Queen feathers for the slip. “Hence the rhyming cockney instead.” Shrugging sheepishly under the glare she tried her little Monkey’s saying. “Sorry?”

Regina was about to comment when the door adjoining her office opened and Mother decided to grace them all with her presence.

“Cora!” Emma hopped up from her spot on the rug where she had been eating her apple and ran over with her arms open. She adored Gina’s Mom who always had a smile for her and had since she had given the woman a framed picture of her and Santa for Christmas. It sat on Cora’s desk just like her school one did on Gina’s at home and here.

“There you are my darling girl. Look how smart you look in your uniform.” Leaning down to receive a hug Cora embraced Emma easily and kissed the air alongside each of Emma’s cheeks. “I thought I heard a rumor a little Daisy was selling cookies.”

“I am.” Ever ready Emma took the folded list from her vest pocket and a pen holding both out. “How many do you want? If you buy two of each you can have some for now and then later when you get hungry again. The Thin Mints are my favorites and Gina’s too!”

“Then I will take two of each, but three of the Thin Mints. One box of those goes to the seller for the recommendation.” Cora winked and wrote her pledge on the line and handed it back to Emma. Then she gave a questioning look to her youngest over the child’s head. “Where has Regina been hiding you this week, hmm?”

“Dunno cause I’m better at hide and seek than Gina is.” Emma replied with a smile and pocketed the list and pen once more.

Regina rolled her eyes at the veiled insinuation from her Mother as she tapped her knuckles once on her desk in annoyance. “We’ve had a busy week Mother and I’m doing nothing of the kind.” But now she was for the hot look shot her way. “We are also on our way out.”

Cora smoothed blonde curls looking right at Emma and challenged that very notion. “How did you like the tour of Trinity School Emma?”

_‘Did she just…?’_ At the nerve Regina stood abruptly from her desk and was about to shut down the conversation entirely, but Emma’s face was already tightening.

“Tour of a school?” Then turning, Emma looked at Gina, anxious now at the idea. She loved her class and wanted to stay to finish the year. Her troop met on Tuesday after school in one of the classrooms there too. Gina had said she could stay there.

Regina went right to Emma and leaned down to be eye level. “She’s just talking about a tour I went on earlier this week sweetheart. Nothing is ch—”

“Am I changing schools?” Emma’s brows knit in upset. “But you said I didn’t have to this year. You said maybe next year.” Her hands were taken as her eyes filled.

“And you don’t this year. Nothing is changing right now Emma with your school. Alright?”

“Then why’d you go on the tour?”

“It was something my Mother wanted me to do that I really did not want to.” Regina heard a sharp intake of air above them, but kept her focus on Emma. She was not about to lie to Emma just to soothe Mother’s feelings on this issue. “I did it because it was the nice thing to do and I didn’t want you upset when I knew nothing would come if it.”

Emma shifted on her feet thinking she understood. Gina said sometimes she had to do things that had to be done ‘cause they needed doing even if she didn’t like them. Like the doctor, therapy or doing homework. But that those things didn’t always mean bad stuff happened afterwards. Calmer under those soft eyes on her and the way Gina was rubbing the backs of her hands Emma nodded.

“Zee.” Catching her sister’s eye Regina stood up. “Will you take Emma and meet me in the car? I’ll be there in a moment.”

“But I wanna wait for you.” Emma cut in and tightened her grip on those hands. Still anxious over the conversation and wanting the closeness.

“I need to talk to my Mother for a moment Emma and then I’ll be right there.” A serious line had been crossed and she intended to have a word about it. Nodding to the door where her sister was waiting. “Go on with ZeeZee.”

“Nnoooo.” Tears started. “I want _you_.”

Cora watched the exchange between her daughter and Emma with a mix of interest and disapproval in how Regina was handling the upset. She remembered such displays from her girls when they had been young and she had to stay late at the office working when Henry had come by with them to say hello. One particular evening came to mind and Regina clung to her the longest of the two carrying on much in the same manner as Emma was now. And she wondered if she had responded differently than she had if Regina wouldn’t have begun pulling away from her.

“And you will have me in just a few minutes because I’m coming with you. Right now you need to listen please and go with your ZeeZee.” Regina tried for patience knowing exactly why Emma was upset. Talk of change and the conversation about school a sensitive one between them. Mother’s sneak attack in opening this idea to Emma was not helpful in the least.

Relenting Emma gave a sniffle. “You’ll be right there?”

“Right there sweetheart.” Promising with a kiss to a cheek Regina watched as Emma reluctantly went across the room to take her sister’s hand. Zee flashed a sympathetic look as the door closed. The moment that click sounded she whirled on her Mother, fire in eyes. “That was entirely inappropriate and uncalled for. Did you see how upset she was from your question?”

Cora crossed her arms. Both brows rose at the fresh tone coming her way. “I did and that only tells me you haven’t said a word to her about transferring to Trinity in the fall.”

“When and how I speak to Emma about that decision, which is mine to make not yours, is up to me.” Regina swallowed down the anger riding her temper. “I won’t have you upsetting her unnecessarily. We have a lot on our plate right now and the discussion about school is not one she is ready to have just yet.”

“I was only trying to help and while you are deciding I’ve arranged for some uniform samples and the catalog to be sent to your home.”

Regina scoffed. “I don’t need your way of helping like that Mother. Not in raising my daughter.” Brief hurt and then warning flashed across her Mother’s eyes and Regina placed her palms together in a silent plea as she tried to soften her next words. “I have different ideas about how I want to raise Emma and private schooling is not one of them.”

“What you mean to say is that you don’t want my ideas or influence to impact Emma.” To the point Cora shook her head. “You’re making a mistake Regina.”

“Am I? Because not having her in a school with such suffocating social values and ridged world views on things, feels like the right choice to me.”

“Nonsense. You girls loved Trinity.”

“No Mother you did and even Zee too, but my experience was different than hers at Trinity for a few different reasons.” Being a lesbian, non-religious, and as liberal as she was being three of the big ones.

Tisking. “You’re just like your Father. He didn’t have it in him to make the necessary calls in raising you girls.”

Regina’s eyes found the floor as they filled at his memory and then she looked up. “I know you didn’t mean it as such, but that is the nicest compliment you have ever given me.” Long time coming to say and wishing it was not this moment but here. “As for your insinuation over how he was with me and Zee; we couldn’t have asked for a more involved and loving parent. He was there for every school function, every parent teacher conference, and every night to tuck me in. He was there for me when I needed him. And I intend to do the same for my daughter. I am an adult and more than capable of making my own decisions. Especially when it comes to Emma. I appreciate your intent and I know it comes from a good place.”

A brow arched. “But?”

“There is no but there. I know you think you mean well.” Regina felt the hair on her neck stand upright under Mother’s gaze. Right up straight as her spine was as sweat bridged her hairline for the sharp look she was under. Mother had always had that affect on her.

“You _think_ I mean well.” Cora repeated slowly. “You say you are grown and capable, but right now all I see is a little girl trying to fit into shoes that are too big for her. This… tantrum is appalling.”

Bristling, Regina saw red. What she had given up in order to stay on at their family company after her father died, to fill his shoes, flashed across her mind. Before he’d passed she’d been working on the idea of starting her own publishing company, something intimate and local. Something she could nurture and call her own. Not for the money; to take chances on new writers and stories she believed needed to be told. That is what it was really about for her. Getting those unheard voices heard. Daddy had encouraged her dream, but she had dared not share it with Mother and when he had died, a piece of her dream died with him in her grief and Mother’s need for control. And in this moment she could not keep the cap on that any longer. “I did you a favor by stepping in for Daddy. Without me this company would be scraping to make a fraction of the profits it has in the last four years.” And the cool look flashed her way said exactly what Mother thought about that.

An indulgent chuckle came between them as Cora’s head shook. “You are just proving my point Regina and Robert has opened the market for us to triple our annual profits with just his most recent trip to London.” Her eyes went quickly between narrowing pools of amber. “His efforts landed us a partnership worth over 30 million. You can learn a lot from him if you quit letting your dislike for him get in the way.”

“Our efforts.” Regina corrected. “Who do you think spent the time preparing the contract offer for him to put on the table?” Mother took a step closer and Regina tried to fight the wounded expression taking over her features. She never could help it when Daddy was involved. The suggestion of her ten percent increase last quarter being chump change went unsaid, but she more than felt it. And again she felt frozen under that cutting gaze, but Mother’s was glassy in a way Regina had not been expecting it be. “Daddy would never have agreed to the merger with Gold.”

“No, he wouldn’t of.” Agreeing with ease. “And you have had ample opportunity to shine in your father’s stead. Originally I was going to ask Robert to step in when Henry passed, but you got a chance to be a CEO because Henry would have wanted it. He wanted you to have a voice in the business and I allowed it.”

“And now you regret it?” Regina asked and when Mother didn’t answer right away she slowly nodded her head as her eyes stung. “You’re disappointed. Go on. Say it.”

“I did not say that.”

Regina’s crossed her arms. “You didn’t have to.”

“Do not put words in my mouth Regina.”

“Or what you’ll take my voice away? Because you are so good at doing that for me.” She’d be damned if that happened to Emma too under Cora’s influence.

“Enough.” Cora’s hand slapped the edge of the desk. “I don’t have too. You are doing a good job with your own pity party over your father and Kathryn doing just that. I won’t coddle you Regina. It’s time to grow up and be the partner I expect you to be.”

More than wounded and braving the truth for what else needed to be said Regina did with a heavy heart. “I thought I was your daughter first.” Then quiet, but firm. “And if you do something like this again with Trinity or the roundabout questioning with Emma when I explicitly ask you not to it will seriously impact my willingness to allow you such an influential role in her life.”

The room went cold as they stared at each other. Mother’s eyes wide and unmoving. After a few tense moments without a response or a dismissal, Regina picked up her purse and walked out of the room.

Sunglasses on she hurried to the car and got in the back across from Zee and Emma’s car seat when David held open the door for her. Glad at least that Emma seemed happily tuned into playing a game with headphones on Zee’s cell phone. She kept her glasses on as she watched her sister reading a magazine. Good. She could do with a quiet ride for the moment.

“How much vodka do I need to set aside later for our chat I sense is coming because of Mother Dearest?”

_‘So much for quiet.’_ Regina’s eyes found the ceiling. “There’s not enough in New York I’m afraid.”

“I’ll have more imported then.”

That casual comment made the corners of Regina’s mouth hint up with a nod to Emma. “I’ll fill you in later.”

Not looking up. “Oh, she can’t hear us.” Zelena explained absently as she continued thumbing her magazine. “She’s lost in a land of rainbows and lepers.”

A brow rose over dark shades. “You mean leprechauns.”

“That’s what I said.”

“No you didn’t. The one you said being a horribly disfiguring disease and the other a little greedy green man with an unhealthy gold fixation.”

Zelena finally looked up focusing on the moment. “What has Giggling Gold got to do with this conversation?”

A brief bitter chuckle escaped as Regina made the leprechaun connection. “Quite a bit I’m afraid.” Then wondering. “Why call him Giggling Gold?”

A page turned as Zelena went back to her skimming, keeping her voice low for little ears. “He does that when he’s being a complete ass. Like a bully whispering a threat to you when he knows his wormy little friends are watching to cheer him on.”

At that perfect description of Gold, Regina frowned in thought and turned to look out the window. Come to think of it, Gold had done that a few times. The most recent being when he had made that unsettling comment about her father’s undoing. She crossed her arms over her stomach and forced her thoughts away from Mother and Gold to the coming hearing. Right now she had to regain her focus in order to take the next step in Emma’s adoption.

As if hearing her name Emma finally looked up from her game and smiled with an adorable wave showing the deep dimple in her cheek. “Hi Gina.”

 That smile was suddenly familiar in a way that made Regina take off her glasses and she smiled softly right back. “Hi baby.” And that light in green eyes across the way wiped the past fifteen minutes from memory save this one moment with Emma.

**:::::::::::::::**

Regina sat in the waiting room of the courthouse watching as Emma played with a few other children present in the play area across the way as Zee went to fetch coffee for her. She had more than a slight headache from the way she had ended the conversation in her office with Mother and wondered just how she was going to right that situation going forward. She’d deal with it Monday when she went into the office again, she decided.

Sighing, Regina rubbed at her temples and wished Zee would hurry up. More so at being on her own before such an important hearing. Regina brought her wrist she had sprayed that morning up to her nose and inhaled closing her eyes. Kathryn’s comforting scent filled her and some of the worry and tension left as she exhaled. Then she heard the unmistakable sound of her sister’s heels coming down the hall and looked up. Pale, as if a ghost had been seen, her sister’s delicate features were. Sick Regina felt over such an expression as Zee came to take back up the empty chair right next to her.

“GiGi something’s happened.”

Regina closed her eyes. Wrong, something was wrong and she opened them holding her breath.

“Ambrose called me.”

And air returned to Regina’s lungs. Boyfriend trouble. Zee had been seeing him on and off for a near year and this was a pattern she was used to whenever they had gotten in a fight. “Who broke up with whom this time?” Regina tried for humor she knew Zee usually appreciated in moments of upset, but red curls shook in dismay. She reached for her sister’s hand and brows knit tight at how just how white those knuckles were. Turning in her seat Regina squeezed they hand. “What is it?” Nothing, but eyes blinking. “Zee, please you’re scaring me.”

“Sorry.” Zelena tried to begin. “It’s just a shock and I’m not sure how to tell you this.”

“Tell me what?” Then that tight iron heat was right back pressing against Regina’s chest. Breath gone again.

“Remember when you asked me to do some digging on the newspaper article in Emma’s file about her being found on the interstate?” Getting a sharp nod she continued. “Well, at the time Ambrose hadn’t found anything. Cold case as he said, and Emma appeared as if by magic, but he has a thing for cases with no answers. He found them.”

Amber eyes widened to near shattering. “He found Emma’s parents?”

“Yes.” Deep breath. “I mean no. They’re dead, but that’s not what this issue is, but it kind of is too.”

Regina felt the small bite of shame for the bit of relief that statement brought her. Dead there would be no claim on Emma to halt the adoption, but that did not explain why Zee was upset. “If they are not able to make a claim on her then that’s good right?”

“It is, but GiGi not for one of them.”

Frustrated Regina shook her head. “You are not making any sense.”

“I know. Sorry.” Zelena caught her breath and her sister’s eyes. “It’s Emma’s mother or donor rather.”

“Donor as in egg donor?” Thoughts rushed and blurred. Surely there were preventatives from donors making a parental claim. A contract, something, and Regina asked the hard question as the room went black at the edges. “Am I going to be able to adopt Emma?”

“Barring there are no other petitions for adopting her—Yes.”

Breathing as color returned to her cheeks and Zee squeezed her hand. “That’s good. That’s—”

“GiGi the egg donor was Kathryn.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N – The mystery deepens next week and will pick up right where this leaves off! Thanks for reading. Thoughts?


	4. Recognition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N – Picks right up where we left off…

**Chapter 4 – Recognition**

**:::::::::::::::::::::::::** :

Regina froze as the room became deaf to her skipping heartbeat. The hair on the back of her arms and neck stood up with goose bumps as a cold wash of sweat prickled her hairline as thoughts exploded behind unblinking eyes. ‘ _If Kathryn was the donor, who is the birth mother? Father? How had Emma ended up in a basket on the side of the road if the birthmother had needed a donor to get pregnant? Did that mean Emma had been wanted at one point? How could Kathryn not have told me? She said she wouldn’t carry—that adoption was—Emma—what if...’_ These unexpected and once impossible questions, an invisible wall she had no way of seeing in her path, slammed together like birds flying into glass. Regina had previously imagined too many different scenarios to rationalize Emma’s appearance. So many new questions and directions; too many and Regina was drowning in them all. 

“Take a breath.” Zelena coaxed under the wide eyed stare she was under. “I only told you now because it will be in the case notes for the hearing today. Ambrose had to notify DSS when he made all the connections. There’s more GiGi. A lot more to Emma’s story than we thought, but this is what you need to know right now. The judge may comment or ask about Kathryn and I didn’t want you blindsided in court.”

One nod. That’s all Regina could manage. Too much to take in and now of all places and times. She wasn’t ready for what this meant. For what it could mean for their future and tried to start asking the other questions she needed an answer to just as the court clerk came out and her case was called.

“That’s you.” Zelena held up her hand indicating she had heard him and stood helping her sister up. “Go do this and then we’ll go from there.” 

Shock spoke, but not over what was being asked. “You’re not coming in?”

“I need to watch Emma. Remember you said you wanted to do this part yourself.” Zelena now wished they had brought along someone else as a backup plan, but being only her and Regina now in need she said, “we can reschedule if it’s too much, but it could be weeks before we get another date.” Searching amber eyes they only widened more. Holding her sister by the shoulders and worried over the stillness there and she gave a ready shake to bring Regina back to the present. “Mask up if you have to. You have one shot to get this part right. For Emma.”

That tone and the seriousness of the moment snapped Regina out of her shock. She put on the corporate mask she was good at wearing to hide the spiraling of emotions taking her mind for a walk in a dark wonderland. She nodded, bringing steel to her spine to hold her upright and with a long look at Emma playing turned to follow the clerk into the courtroom.

Regina more than went through the motions. Answered every question with a smile and poise she was trained to do since childhood. The judge was impressed with her answers and the facts and figures that went with her name. Said everything was in order when Regina felt it was anything but. 

Her intent to adopt was pushed through to the next stage and they moved on to the Termination of Parental Rights. A notification would have to be sent to the next of kin—just as Zelena had said. And Regina’s mind wondered over who that could possibly be, but in the blur of thoughts and emotions she was sucked into another part of her heart entirely. The judge commented on the miracle of such a connection between her late wife and Emma. But did not go into any of the details others knew more about than she did at the moment. A miracle, truly it was. And one Regina could not even begin to process. Gavel banged and she jumped at it. Regina gathered the details of her life on paper as she had understood it back in the file she had brought along to prove she was able to provide for Emma in more ways than a roof overhead. But she didn’t understand the details in there as she once had. More so the one person referenced in them that should be right by her side doing this with her. 

 And outside this room Emma sat oblivious with her sister as Parental Rights were deemed non-applicable in the current situation. That had to be a good thing, she thought, but the current situation was one she did not have full understanding of yet. At that phrase from the judge Regina had lost her footing and leaned heavy against the petitioner’s table. The adoption date hearing was confirmed for now barring no further claims on Emma and Regina left the court room. 

Zelena was sitting in the chair she had occupied before the hearing listening to chattering as she approached. And then Regina saw Emma. How had she not seen Emma quite this way before? The shape of that pink bow of a mouth, the deep dimple in the left cheek, and chameleon blonde curls. The same hints of strawberry were there and always highlighted when the sun hit just so. Then Emma was up out of that chair and hugging her waist. Regina came to life slowly and gently, oh so gently as if Emma were a fine china doll near breaking, stroked a cheek with her knuckle. Then Kathryn was looking right through those eyes up at her. And the mask holding Regina together began slipping.

“Gina?”

_‘Same almond shape, but a different color… Same thick dark blonde lashes.’_

“Gina.”

‘ _And that smile…’_

“Earth to GiGi.” Waving a hand, Zelena tried to catch a pair of blurring amber eyes.

Regina startled and blinked quickly as her mask returned. Home she needed to make it home and then—

Emma tugged on a belt loop and rubbing an eye. “Gina am I adopted all the way yet?”

And Regina felt a rush of heat in her gut. That shouldn’t even be a question to be asked between them. Shouldn’t have to be. Not if Kathryn had… Bending to lift Emma up to her hip Regina held the little girl close to her heart and found a bit of her voice. “Not yet little duck, but we are one step closer.” And more than a mile away from the present moment in her mind as she followed Zelena to the car.

Settling in those arms Emma asked. “So this day was for the rights stuff?” And yawned. She was sleepy after the busy long day.

Regina swallowed thickly as they exited the building. Pausing she dug her sunglasses out of her purse and put them on, feeling somewhat more herself under the dark shades. Her head was pounding with more than a headache. The hearing had been a success and she was over the moon with that idea and felt like she had lost the gravity of some incredible importance she couldn’t name. “Yes sweetheart, the judge said he agreed with my intent to adopt you.”

“And he said no to my birth parents ‘cause they aren’t here?” Remembering some of how Gina had explained it to her. Emma relaxed, leaning forward to rest her head on a shoulder with her eyes closed as they waited at the curb for the car to come around.

“Something like that, but we will talk more about that another day.” They had a lot of talking to do. Too much. And done with talking for now as her throat closed Regina rested her hand on Emma’s back and closed her eyes. She ran the length a curved spine with her finger tips in a way that always soothed Emma… 

 

_Rubbing a back and the golden curls spilling across her lap, Regina adored the way the light played with different colors of her wife’s hair. “You like that don’t you my love?”_

_“Like?” Kathryn purred contently. “I love when you do that Regina.” A dimpled smile. “Puts me right to sleep._ ”

 

And Regina opened her eyes to the warm salt of memory rolling down her cheeks as Emma slept in her arms. A piece of her past that she thought had died lay warm and breathing softly against her neck. No small miracle and yet it was all hers.

**::::::::::::::**

Later that same evening Regina stood over the stove sautéing a vegetable medley as dinner baked in the oven. Once home Emma had gone into the living room to watch TV and she to the kitchen to begin cooking. Zee had tried to stay to talk, but Regina was not in the space to do so yet. She needed the evening to think. Needed time to wrap her head around this new reality. Regina needed a lot of things she couldn’t say, but she had said tomorrow they would talk. Tonight she just needed to be on her own with Emma. Her mind was anywhere but the present and she was reminded of such when she took the entree out of the oven.

 Her finger slipped the oven cloth and caught on the edge of the hot pan. Grunting, Regina tossed it aside with a loud clatter and brought her burned finger to her mouth. Moving right to the sink, she ran cold water over the heat throbbing on her skin. It was only pink, but ran up the length of the inside of her index finger. As some relief came she called to Emma.

A blonde head popped around the doorframe a moment later. “Time to eat?”

“Yes sweetheart. Wash your hands please.” Regina watched as Emma got up on the stool by the sink to do so as she moved away to plate their meal. The moment Emma joined her at the counter a sour frown took over that face she was realizing more and more looked like the mirror of her late wife. Heat pricked the corners of her eyes at the resemblance her grieving heart had just not been able to see before now.

“Gina I don’t like fish.”

And her mind snapped right back to the present and looked at what she had made. Lemon butter cod and sautéed vegetables, Kathryn’s favorite—both of which Emma would not willingly eat. Normally if she made herself this filet she made Emma chicken and they negotiated the vegetables. Regina pinched the bridge of her nose as her eyes closed. “I’m sorry Emma… I was—” Dreaming, remembering… “Not paying attention to what I was doing.” Sighing. “Will you try a bite of fish for me? You may like it.”

Emma shook her head as her tongue poked out of her mouth. “I don’t wanna eat Nemo and Dory’s friends.”

Right. She’d forgotten that Disney always won in their home. Regina stood and took Emma’s plate and put a few of the cut squash and zucchini vegetables in a bowl for Emma while leaving the plate on the counter. “Start on your milk and veggies then while I make you something else.”

“No veggies.” A tongue stuck out again. 

“Yes veggies.”

“But Ginnnaaa.” Emma lay forward on the table, arms splayed out with her cheek against the counter. Dramatic. “My tummy says veggies don’t like the dark in there.”

A soft chuckle. “Even so, your body needs six bites at least.”

Emma’s lips puckered over that idea. “Two?”

“Five without any further argument and you may have the dinner of your choice tomorrow.”

She shot right up with a grin. “Deal.”

Going to the fridge as Emma began eating Regina quickly put together a modified version of a club sandwich she knew Emma would eat. Cutting off the crusts and the sandwich into four neat triangles Regina set that on a place and began to slice an apple to go with it. As Emma ate she eventually returned to her own meal, but suddenly Regina couldn’t stomach the past on a plate and pushed it away. 

“What’s wrong Gina?” Said around a mouth of cheese and bacon as Emma looked over.

‘Those eyes.’ And Regina moved hers back to a full plate and stood to get rid of it. “I don’t think I care for fish either tonight.” When she returned to the table she saw a triangle and a few apple slices on a napkin in her place. Nodding with a smile to Emma she picked up a slice and took a bite. “Thank you for sharing little duck.”

“Welcome.” Emma smiled and chatted about what she and Jasmine did at recess as they finished eating. 

Regina simply looked at her enraptured. Every movement she recorded and compared in her mind finding more and more similarities that should not be possible. Some of Emma’s mannerism too. Like the way she sat cross legged in the chair was similar to how Kathryn used to always sit with one leg curled underneath her. The more she tried looking the more she saw what had always been there.

“Gina why you looking at me so much?”

“Hmm? Oh.” Regina sat back from where she had rested on the counter with her hand on her cheek. “My mind is just full of grown up things little duck.” 

Emma wondered over that. For the way brown eyes were shiny though she didn’t ask again. Sometimes when she asked why when they were this way Gina went to another room for a few minutes and right now Emma didn’t want to be by herself. Gina then went to clean up and she helped too. When the last dish was loaded in the washer she went take Gina’s hand like always, but when Emma grabbed that first finger like she liked to do it was pulled away.

Regina hissed as the burn on the inside of her finger was scraped by small nails. Rolling her lips in, she caught Emma’s confused expression laced with hurt and immediately cupped a small face. “I didn’t mean to pull away. I accidently burned my finger cooking and it is just tender right now is all.”

Green widened and Emma sucked in her bottom lip as a memory flashed. “Do you hafta go to the hospital? Are you okay?” Worry spoke from a past present.

“I’ll be just fine and no I don’t need to go to the hospital. See?” Holding up her finger. “I just need to wrap it up.”

“A Band-aid?”

Nodding as Emma tugged on her good hand, Regina followed into the downstairs bathroom off of the living room. Watching in wonder as Emma crouched on the rug and opened the bottom cabinet under the sink. Child nearly disappeared inside it and came out with a box of Disney villain band-aids from the first aid kit she kept there. 

“You gotta sit there.” Emma explained pointing to the closed toilet lid where she sat last week when she fell and skinned her knee in the park. She waited for Gina to do so as she found just the right band-aid. Emma had trouble with the wrapper and promptly held it out for help. A corner was torn and it was handed back and she did the important part by herself and carefully wrapped a hurt finger with little Evil Queen’s from the movie. After Emma kissed it all better brown eyes got wet like they did sometimes. “Now it won’t hurt no more.”

“Thank you Emma.” And it didn’t but a piece of Regina unseen certainly did. She lifted Emma up to her hip and went toward the stairs. “Time to get ready for bed little duck.”

“Bath time, book time, and bed time.” Emma chimed in and rested her chin on a shoulder as they went upstairs.

Regina smiled softly and carried Emma up to the third floor. Fifteen minutes later after bubbles and a rubber ducky race in the tub she had a sweet smelling and sleepy child holding her good hand into the yellow room. She began preparing for the mini battle she thought might be coming and had been present since last week when she had introduced the idea of wearing GoodNites consistently to Emma. Half the nights out of a week since the therapy sessions had started nearly two months ago Emma woke up in wet sheets from a dream. Little one was always a mess of tears and upset that broke Regina’s heart each time. At first she’d let Emma choose and sometimes she would willing wear them, but more often Emma fought the idea. Then the wetting increased as the sessions went on and Regina had to make the decision that needed making much to Emma’s upset. Slowly though the routine was getting used to.

Going to the dresser, Regina pulled out a pair of socks and a PJ set. Then a pair of GoodNites from the bottom drawer. Taking all of them to the bed she set them aside to coax the yawning one at her feet closer.

Emma blinked sleepily as one of her favorite t-shirts with Dory on it was tugged gently over her head. She helped with the arm holes like the big girl she was and then tilted her head at what Gina was holding and remembered she was supposed scowl over the fact and did so now with her arms crossed. She wasn’t a baby and said as much.

“No you are not. These are just for now not for always.” Holding them out for Emma to step in. Child seemed to be thinking it over and being late and tired helped those little feet move one at a time. Then a pair of blue shorts followed yellow socks and Emma was leaning heavily into her side frown still present.

“I don’t mean to wet the bed Gina.” Wide green ponds looked up.

“No you don’t and I know that sweetheart.” Rubbing a shoulder with a kiss to a temple. “Sometimes our minds work things out for us when we sleep in our dreams and sometimes our body’s don’t cooperate. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I still don’t like ‘em.” Grumbling with a pout.

“And you don’t have to, but they do help you have better sleep and wake up to have a good morning don’t they?”

Reluctant. “Yeah.” She guessed they did. And when Emma thought about it she didn’t like waking up cold and wet. Her pinky traced her bottom lip wanting to hide inside her mouth. “Read please.”

Sitting back on the queen bed by the head board, Regina settled in among a pile of pillows and the ever present white and purple baby blanket. As Emma got the chapter book from the nightstand and crawled up to sit in her lap Regina draped the crocheted blanket over them both and cracked the spine of their current read. A classic from her childhood collection called ‘A Little Princess’. They were nearly halfway through and Emma adored the magic of the old Victorian tale. Child was asleep two pages into the new chapter however and she closed the book with a ribbon marker to set aside. 

Pinky was still in Emma’s mouth resting there in comfort and she couldn’t bring herself to pull it away as she gently stroked curls from a pale face. She found herself simply watching Emma sleep for a long time as she memorized every curve of that face once more. Eventually Regina began to move carefully, well trained after five months on how to expertly shift a sleeping child under the covers without waking and she did so now with another kiss to a brow. Her eyes fell on the blanket then. Emma slept with it every night and often dragged it around the house on the weekends if they were home to do so. It needed a good washing and she made a mental note to do so tomorrow. There was something about it that always made her linger in wonder, but she couldn’t place it beyond the mystery of how Emma had been wrapped in it found in a basket on the side of the road. As she tucked it up under a little chin Regina hoped a dreamless sleep found them both, but knew hers at the very least would be full of Kathryn.

**::::::::::::::::::**

The next morning Regina awoke to little elbows pressed up between her ribs and two feet that had made a home against the curve of her stomach sometime in the night. Emma slept soundly curled up against her chest and tucked up right under her chin. She could feel warm puffs of air on her throat and a heart beating near her own. Carefully she dipped her chin to kiss the top of a golden crown hello and lingered there taking in the scent of Emma’s favorite apple scented shampoo. 

And then the memory of yesterday came to mind and Regina closed her eyes to it. None of it felt real and yet real was about to make itself at home in their life from today on. The last several weeks had felt like a big marathon. Every day full with everything that needed doing and in it she’d forgotten what this moment of restful peace felt like. She needed more of it. They both did she decided as Emma stirred in her arms.

 It was Thursday and with her new schedule in effect she did not have to go into the office today. She’d call Mary-Margaret and let her know she was unofficially off the clock in another way though and Emma’s school in a little bit. Child’s therapy session had to happen, but that was later. She needed time to talk to Zee too about the rest of Emma’s new found history and a day away from work and time with Emma would make that notion easier to do. But right now this peace with her little one was all that mattered. Emma began to wiggle and stretch in her arms. Regina reached down with one hand, feeling at Emma’s bottom for the GoodNites. Dry and so getting up could certainly wait and she patted it gently to soothe as a green eye popped open and then promptly closed as Emma’s face nuzzled back into her neck.

“Mmmm. Don’t wanna wake up Ginnaaa.” Emma murmured and purposefully snuggled down back into the warmth she’d come from. 

“You don’t have to sweetheart.” A soft kiss while nails trailed a back. “Not today. Go back to sleep.” 

“Stay with you.” Dreamy and slipping.

“Right here with me.” Regina lay with Emma for another hour before getting out of the nest of pillows and blankets her bed had become. The red quilt Kathryn made for her birthday ages ago popped against the white duvet where Emma was wrapped up like a little marshmallow. Round face with pink cheeks poked out and that was all. A smile for the image and Regina reached for her phone and took a picture to send to Zee. Her thumb hovered over the screen to add her Mother to the recipient list and decided to for a soft bridge to the hard conversation they had yet to have. There would be many of those coming up, it seemed. 

After pressing send Regina went to the bathroom for her morning routine and then called her secretary and Emma’s school. With a peek on the little one still sleeping Regina made her way downstairs to have some coffee, surprised to see the kitchen light on and to hear humming. Her house keeper didn’t come until tomorrow and her sleep fogged brain said no one should be here, but then she recognized the light tenor and readily felt her eyes fill at it and the sight when she stepped into the kitchen.

Zelena was dishing pancakes into a warming dish by the stove. In her usual place setting there was a ready cup of cappuccino steaming in wait. A hand went to Regina’s mouth to cover a smile at one particularly shrill note coming from a merry mouth as Zelena finally turned to see her.

“Morning sleepy head!” Cheery rang through the kitchen.

And it was a warm balm to the cool morning Regina’s mind had been contending with. “Good morning. I wasn’t expecting you so soon.”

“Ah, but you were expecting me at some point today weren’t you sis.” Not a question. 

With a shrug that was anything but indifferent Regina moved to take the first sip of her cappuccino. “Whatever happened to ringing the door bell?”

“I’ve never been good at keeping New Year resolutions.” Zelena put the top on the warming dish and turned off the stove to join her sister to sit at the island with a cup of tea and sugar bowl. “But truthfully I figured you needed the sleep and I didn’t want you both to wake up to an empty house.”

“I appreciate the thought and I have many thoughts I need to sort out today with your help.” Taking another sip as she eyed the fat file of papers sitting loudly on the counter between them.

“I thought as much. Is Emma still asleep then?”

“Check your phone.” Regina said and watched the look of melting adoration appear as her sister took in the image of Emma on the screen.

“She looks like a little Easter peep tucked up like that. Now I get why you call her a little ducky.” Zelena reached for a spoon to stir her tea after setting down her phone. “Did you tell her anything yet?”

“No and I won’t until I know the whole story.” Nodding to the file. “You said Ambrose kept digging. How did he find out about Kathryn being a donor?”

“To answer that we need to start with whom Kat was a donor to. She donated to a clinic, but it is a very small world it seems.”

“What do you mean by that?” Dread filled Regina’s stomach.

 “I mean that the connection of the woman who gave birth to Emma, to us is a lot closer than is comfortable.” Opening the file, Zee handed over a picture on top of the stack of a few. “Maiden name is Ingrid Gold. She carried Emma.”

Regina’s jaw dropped at the name. “You’re kidding?”

“Wish I was.” Auburn brows shot up apoplectically. Seems there is a relation to one Robert Gold. She was his niece.”

Regina’s eyes closed. So this was the niece Mother had spoken of. She forced her eyes open as Zee kept on.

“You don’t seem that surprised.”

“It was something Mother mentioned the other day, Gold having had a niece.”

“It surprised me that Gold had any family that even tolerated him, little long an older brother who left him his only child. He died in some bogus accident overseas ages ago and was quite a successful business man when he was alive. That much they seemed to have in common.” Zelena shrugged.

“Does Gold know about Ingrid’s connection to Emma?” Regina felt a small ball of hot panic beginning to fill her stomach.

“Technically the court has to reach out to next of kin when a child’s parents die. And technically that would be Gold even though Ingrid is not biologically related to Emma. In Emma’s case no one ever knew the connections so that next of kin step did not happen. Gold will be notified soon and there will be one more hearing giving him a chance to come forward for guardianship.” Zelena explained the process and watched all the color drain from her sister’s face. “Hey, look at me.” And Regina did with haunted eyes filled with the fear of loss. “With how selfish Gold is and how focused he is on business I don’t see him wanting anything to do with raising a child. Try not to worry. That is not our reality right now.”

But Regina was worried that it could be one day and looked down finally to take in the fair woman with blue eyes and platinum hair near white gold in color that fit the name given to the letter. Gold was standing right next to her with his arm wrapped around her shoulders, a crooked grin on his face as his fingers dug into the fabric of a dress. There was something sadly haunting about Ingrid’s eyes Regina didn’t like, never mind Gold being in the picture, so she looked away from them. “And the father. Should I be concerned about him?”

“For him, there are no relations since he was a product of the New York foster system. He was also harder to find much on. Bit of a nomad that one right along with Ingrid once they moved out of state. They never stayed in one city long.” Tapping the corner of Ingrid’s picture. “A man by the name of August Booth. Handsome fellow.” Zelena pointed to the next picture.

A man with kind green eyes and a goofy half smile was pictured there next to Ingrid. And again something about the way that woman’s eyes looked disturbed Regina greatly. “They’re dead?”

Nodding. “Reported missing from Boston a few weeks before Emma was found. Ambrose said Ingrid went missing pregnant and the bodies of both of them were found in a lake in Maine near a town called Storybrooke a few days after Emma was picked up and taken to the fire station. Obviously Ingrid had given birth between Boston and Maine at some point.”

Boston. Maine. Storybrooke.

“Seriously, Storybrooke?”

“I know, sounds like something out of Grimm’s fairytales.” Zelena said, rolling her eyes tapping the file. “The case notes for when they were found, what has already been made public, are there for you to go through later. But it makes sense. Ingrid didn’t give birth in any hospital or there would be a record of Emma.”

“That part does, but how did he connect Emma to these two?”

“Ah, well, that’s where I need you to remember that you asked me to find out everything I could about Emma’s parents from the newspaper article back at Christmas.” Zelena pushed on even as a dark brow arched. “Remember when Ambrose asked for a cheek swab of Emma to run through the police forensics system when you wanted to find out about her roots? He stopped digging when I’d told him too five months ago and all but forgot about the sample until I mentioned the hearing coming up about parental rights a few weeks ago. So he finally looked at the report and it was a clear match to Kat’s DNA. Since the car accident was a crime scene Kat’s DNA had been taken along with the driver of the truck when they eventually caught up to him—so it was in the police forensics system.”

A deep breath and holding as she processed everything Zee was saying. Regina felt like the room was spinning. Then she let it out and nodded for her sister to continue.

“And that led to him investigating more about Kat’s background around the time of Emma’s birth, or some nine months before and he found Kat had registered with an egg donor company in Boston. The same one Ingrid and August used when he crossed checked.” Zelena bit her lip for the next part. “And that meant Kat made the donation—”

“When her and I were planning to get married.” Finishing the hard truth. And Regina closed her eyes to that time period trying to piece together the why of her late wife’s choice she did not know about. 

Kathryn had taken a few trips for work over the course of a few months to Boston before proposing to her, or what Regina had been told was work. While she came from a family of wealth and privilege Kathryn hadn’t. Her wife had no family to speak of and had to work for everything from scratch. Talented in many areas, but in locating things in particular, Kathryn worked as a bonds person more on the paper trail side than foot work. Between them, Regina’s income gave them their comfort of living, but Kathryn insisted on contributing in other ways. They had talked about marriage and Kathryn had insisted that when they had a wedding Regina would wear a ring she had bought, not the other way around.

Subconsciously Regina twisted the bare skin around the ring finger of her left hand as she often did when thinking of Kathryn. And remembered why it was bare. Then the ring in particular Kathryn had proposed with. Regina wondered out loud. “How much does one make from an egg donation?”

Zelena’s brows furrowed missing the why of the question. “We may ask Siri and see, but why?” And listened to her sister’s theory and together they Googled that very question. 

Anywhere from $8,000 to $14,000, which could explain the Tacori Royal platinum diamond engagement ring and matching band sitting in her jewelry box upstairs Regina had always wondered how Kathryn had afforded, but had never asked. That proposal had been so sweet and very Kathryn. Regina closed her eyes to the memory…

 

_Regina itched her arms only to be surrounded in a cloud of bug spray. Coughing with a grimace she heard Kathryn’s laugh echo from behind her and reached for the blindfold covering her eyes._

_“Ah-Ah! No peeking. You promised.”_

_And promptly dropped her hands. “And you promised to tell me why I let you drive me out into the middle of nowhere only to be blindfolded upon arrival.” They both had the day off and Kathryn wanted to go for a drive. Regina had wanted to take the Benz, but her girlfriend had insisted on driving the yellow tin can instead. But Regina never could say no to Kathryn so she had relented._

_It was early evening when they stopped for food at a place called Hardee’s in the middle of nowhere Regina had never heard of, but Kathryn swore had the best burgers and shakes on this coast. And had been right about that fact. After dinner the blindfold came on and she was led by the shoulders for a hike it seemed through the mix of trees and to her dismay bugs._

_Soon they stopped and Regina was more than done with the blindfold. “Kathryn why are we here?” Not one for liking surprises, she’d done her best all day to go with the flow._

_“So we can see this.”_

_And the blindfold fell away. Regina blinked a few times to adjust to the night around them just as Kathryn’s flashlight turned off and a pair of warm arms encircled her waist. Then she saw them. Hundreds of fire-flies dancing in the clearing ahead under a crescent moon and milky-way of stars so bright and close in the darkness Regina thought she just might be able to touch them. It stole her breath away just like the woman holding her did._

_“Magical isn’t it?”_

_Regina could only nod; had never seen stars quite like this before and never in the city full of lights. So vast and free, she longed to stay here wrapped in her lover’s arms forever. Then Kathryn was suddenly before her on one knee holding a blue velvet box with a diamond ring twinkling right in the very middle._

_“You always said you hated surprises.” Kathryn began, taking her hand._

_“And you promised to change my mind on that.” Regina finished and bit her lip as the ring rested at the tip of her finger in question._

_A bright smile that made the dimple in a left cheek pop. “Did I succeed?”_

_“Oh yes.” And the ring crested Regina’s knuckle to sit where she always hoped it would remain. “Only you could make me this happy….”_

 

“Gina?”

Regina opened her eyes and followed her sister’s finger to the doorframe where Emma was coming in. She cleared her throat with a nod to the papers as Zelena bundled those away back in the file and promptly left the room with it while giving Emma’s curls a ruffle on the way out. Regina turned to accept a hug from the sleepy child and lifted Emma right up on her lap to sit. Thoughts of Gold, Ingrid, and Kathryn faded for the sweet little girl starting up at her.

“I smell pancakes Gina.” A little nose twitched.

A small laugh bubbled up from her core and Regina kissed a pale cheek. “Your ZeeZee made a special breakfast for us. Shall we thank her and have some?”

“Mhmm.” Emma agreed and then her eyes saw the 10 on the stove clock. “We’re late.” Pointing to the red number.

“We would be if I didn’t call us both in. You and I are taking a mental health day sweetheart.”

“What’s that?”

“Only the best thing next to sliced bread.” Zelena confirmed as she returned and went to the fridge to pour them each a glass of OJ. “And I am too.”

Regina’s jaw dropped. “You never take time off. And with both of us out Mother is sure to think something is up.”

“Well, I’ve good reason. Time with my sister and little Monkey is just the thing I need right now.” Winking and handing a glass to a pair of eager little hands and she set the other in front of Regina. “And Mother will survive a day without us to boss around. Snow White Mary-Margaret can handle her fireballs for a day.” Taking her sister’s hand in certainty along with Emma’s. “Besides. This matters more.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N – The mystery deepens next time with Emma as another discovery is made. Any guesses?


	5. Signature Stitches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N – Picks up right where the last chapter left off…

**Chapter 5 – Signature Stitches**

**::::::::::::::::::**

 

After a leisurely breakfast Zelena insisted on cleaning up Regina and Emma got dressed for the day. On her way back down stairs Regina propped a hamper on her hip and called for Emma in the yellow room. “When you come down sweetheart, bring your blanket please.”

Emma appeared in the door frame lost in the fabric of a white t-shirt. Regina set down the hamper and tugged the cotton down. Emma’s head popped through and curls extended in static electricity Regina smoothed down.

“Why do you need my blankie?”

“Because I’m doing a wash and it needs a bath.”

Emma rocked back and forth on her feet in thought over that idea. “It doesn’t want a bath.”

“Oh, but Lucky Swan told me it did. He wants to snuggle in a nice clean warm blankie later with you. Hmmm, how does that sound?”

“Does blankie get bubbles?”

“Lots of bubbles.” Regina grinned. “Grab blankie for me real quick and finish getting dressed.”

“Kay.” Emma darted back into her room and returned with the blanket balled up in her arms. She gave a little hop up and tossed it into the laundry basket. “Yes! Two points and all the peoples go wild!” Feet bounced with her arms up in a victory dance she’d seen sports people do on TV. Then, Emma paused in all seriousness mid wave as her head tilted to the side. “Can we build a fort and watch a movie?”

Laughing at the suddenness of the question. “Yes little duck. Get some sheets from the hall closet and meet me in the living room. Pick out what you want to watch too.” Regina continued downstairs as Emma happily danced back into the yellow room. She bumped right into Zelena on the ground floor.

“Let me play Cinderella.” Zelena insisted while trying to take the basket. “You are still knackered from yesterday, I can tell.”

Regina regarded her sister with a raised brow while not letting go so easily. “I am, but… _You_ do laundry? I don’t think so.”

“I can so do laundry.” Rolling eyes. “I’m not a domestic twit.”

“Debatable. Last time I ended up with pink underwear after letting you help and I don’t own anything pink. I _hate_ pink.”

“I was only helping. You needed to broaden your color wheel in that gray zone of a closet anyway.”

Regina’s brows rose. “Like the last time you watched Emma and let her take her bath markers to the walls of my walk in? I don’t think so.”

“All of it washed off just fine. Now give it here.” Taking the basket, Zelena began looking through it. “Whites go in a mesh bag, delicate cycle, cold wash with a mix of Oxy and detergent.” Her head popped up as her voice dripped with sarcasm. “Tumble dry. Will that suit your Majesty’s pleasure?”

“When did you Google that?”

“Last week when my housekeeper was sick.”

“And I’m supposedly the only royalty in this family.” A playful nudge. With a relenting nod Regina gave up on the basket and gestured to the living room. “Emma wants to build a fort and watch a movie.”

“Lovely! You make the popcorn and I’ll start this.”

“We just had breakfast.”

Zelena dipped a chin towards the little one coming downstairs. “And my little Monkey will want popcorn.”

“Popcorn! Where?” Emma chimed in as she sided up to Gina’s hip with a bundle of sheets nearly taller than she was toppling over in her arms.

“See? She’s just like her ZeeZee.” Zelena didn’t wait for an answer as she headed to the laundry room.

“Let me help you sweetheart.” Regina took the stack of sheets as Emma followed her into the living room. They built forts often enough that Regina had decided to put a few small strategic hooks in the ceiling to use to hold up the top of their forts. While she worked to rig that with some thin rope cords, Emma arranged a sea of pillows on the floor. Together with a few well placed pieces of furniture they had a tent in no time. Just as Regina was tucking the front flap back so they could see the TV Emma dashed upstairs and returned dragging the red quilt Kathryn had made from the master suite. That addition made their fort very cozy.

Emma chose the movie _Tangled_ from their ever growing Disney collection, most of which Regina had purchased as Christmas presents and had memorized for the amount they watched them. Zelena joined them with a bowl of popcorn mixed with M&Ms from the chocolate stash kept somewhere in the house. Regina was still trying to figure out where her sister had it hidden. Curled up nearly on top of one another in the fort, they snuggled in to watch and munch. Halfway through the movie a popcorn fight somehow started and Regina ended up stuck in the middle of it with Emma crouched behind her using her as a shield. Kernels were tossed between fits of giggles. Zelena skillfully dodged most of Emma’s attack and together they cleaned up between more laughing and eating.

Near the end of the movie they paused for a break so Zelena could check on the laundry. Regina went and got a few bottles of water and was getting settled back in her spot when Zelena returned with Emma’s blanket. Her sister playfully wrapped up the bundle of little girl in it to lift and spin Emma about the room. Emma’s laughter eased all their hearts as they played airplane and finally Zelena slowed down for a landing right into Regina’s waiting arms.

“Special delivery air mail.” Cheery sang out as Zelena plopped back onto the pillows again.

“It’s warm and smells good.” Emma inhaled the fresh fluffy scent and snuggled into a lap to finish the movie as Gina pressed play.

As the movie wrapped up Emma curled up in that lap and leaned back. Little fingers played with the purple silk ribbon bordering her blanket coming to trace her name stitched in the corner on an affixed cotton patch there. Emma stopped suddenly. It felt wrong. She sat up and looked closer as her eyes pinched seeing that the corner of the patch was lifting up. Then she saw something else that had her wondering. “Gina?”

“Hmm?” Looking down Regina immediately became concerned with that furrowed brow Emma had. “What’s wrong?”

“My blankie, look?” Pointing to the underside of the fabric patch.

Regina paused the movie and took up the blanket in hand to get a closer look. “How…” And Regina’s throat closed. Her blood went cold. Ice cold as if a ghost had passed through her. Stitched to the underside of the fabric patch was a single initial with a near perfect circle around it. Same purple thread as Emma’s name in the same style of cursive stitching. Reaching for the red quilt they were sitting on she pulled up the far corner into her lap. Blankets side by side they were the same and too familiar for who the initial belonged to. Brows met in complete shock.

“GiGi what is it?”

Thick and cracking in the middle. “She always signed her work this way.”

Zelena came closer. She saw the twin of the letter K; each in a circle of different colored thread side by side. Each too on a different blanket. “That’s not possible.” Then finding her sister’s eyes and searching. “Is it?”

Emma looked between the adults in puzzlement and put one finger from each hand over each initial. “What’s not possible?”

“I don’t know how,” Regina began and covered little hands with each of her own and took a different route to answer when she had no idea how to on Emma’s question. “Sweetheart I’ll fix your blanket. Don’t worry.”

“I’m not, but I wanna know why that letter is on my blankie?” Lifting one hand under Gina’s and then the other to show what she meant. “And there on yours?” Why wasn’t Gina explaining stuff like always? Emma was confused and she didn’t like feeling that way.

Sensing Emma was getting upset, Regina tried again. “Sometimes people who make things sign their work or in this case stitch it.” Swallowing for the can of worms opening. “It looks like Kathryn sewed your name on your blanket.” Kathryn did not know how to crochet that she knew of, but this was clearly her signed embroidery work on the back of the patch affixed to the blanket. Her wife had sometimes done small framed embroidery for friends as gifts, but nothing this personal. She would have known or seen it. _‘Wouldn’t I of?’_

Emma’s brow relaxed under the ready explanation and then scrunched again in a different way. “But how did she know me as a baby?”

Hesitating Regina looked from Emma to the blankets. She needed time to think how best to explain this. One mystery was not told easily without the other. Thoughts hammered questions against her temples. _‘How do I tell my five year old that her birth parents were found mysteriously dead in a lake never mind the connection with Gold? Or that she came from another woman’s egg who just happened to be Kathryn?’_ A wife who she was questioning their history with who happened to be quite talented in the sewing department. _‘Or how that blanket with Kathryn’s initial was found in a basket keeping a new born baby girl warm on the side of the New York interstate? How…?’_ And Regina didn’t know, but Zelena seemed to know of something to say for the moment.

“That, my little Monkey, is the million dollar question GiGi and I need to figure aaallllll the waaaaay out so we can talk about it.” Throwing out her arms wide, Zelena watched Emma’s eyes get big. “Will you give us some time to do that love?”

Emma knew good things took time and she thought that the matching K’s on different red and white blankets in her lap were a good thing in some way. Magic maybe too like Kathryn’s special perfume Gina wore every day. And she trusted Gina and ZeeZee. She nodded and leaned back to sit content in Gina’s arms that came around her in the snug a bug way that she loved to hold her close.

After a few quiet moments Regina kissed the top of Emma’s head as little one wiggled in her lap. She knew that wiggle well. “Do you need the bathroom little duck?”

“Yeah, but I don’t wanna get up.” Looking at her lap, Emma picked at a chocolate stain on her pants.

Smiling softly Regina gave a squeeze and eased Emma off her lap. “This lap is reserved for you and you only, so I think if you take a break it will still be here when you get back. Take off your pants too so I can wash that stain out. There’s clean pair hanging up in the laundry room I’ll get for you to change into.”

“What about ZeeZee?”

“How so?” Regina asked.

“You said to always share so she can have some of your lap to.”

Zelena laughed kindly. “Oh Monkey I don’t fit as well as you do. Besides you have Gina dibs.”

Emma giggled seeming to Regina to be satisfied with that answer and left the room, dragging her blanket with her. Regina’s eyes lingered on it as the secret trailed around a corner after Emma. Her heart felt like it was unraveling.

“You must have a million questions going through your head.” Zelena began, eating the last M&M from the bowl.

“I do.” Agreeing, Regina took the last kernel of popcorn. “I knew there was something familiar about that blanket.” The tiny stitches stuck in her mind’s eye. “Kathryn had the most precise stitches.” Clearing her throat, Regina blinked back the sting behind her eyes. “But one question is blaring above all others. How did Kathryn know Emma’s name? She’d have to in order to have stitched it on the patch.”

Then the doorbell rang.

Regina sighed and stood to get it just as Emma rushed past the archway between the living room and the entry hall. Blanket and jeans dropped as Emma slid right by on the wood floor in socks, panties, and white t-shirt; classic Tom Cruise fashion sans the sunglasses.

“I gots it!”

“Emma, wait for me.” Calling after, Regina followed picking up the pile left on the floor and set it on the hutch while shaking her head. Safety aside child was half dressed. But Emma had either not heard her or ignored the direction. As she approached the entry way Regina heard the last voice she expected when the front door opened.

“Hello darling.” Cora stepped into the house and readily bent for a hug at the grabby hands reaching up for her neck. Her signature air kisses followed. “I brought you a little something to help you feel better.” Taking a red and white bundle from her suit blazer pocket she gave it to Emma. “It has all of those Disney songs on it you like so much.”

“Whoa!” Carefully, Emma unwrapped the ear buds wound around the device and turned it on after sticking them in her ears. Speaking up, “thanks, but I’m not sick.” Jasmine had one of these and now she did too! Excited, Emma picked the first picture on the list to listen too.

Cora finally took in the state of the little girl. Wild blonde curls and mismatched socks with a skewed t-shirt and obvious chocolate sticking at the corners of a mouth made her lips purse. “Where are the rest of your clothes, darling?” But she was ignored by Emma who had already been sucked in by the device. Then she looked up at her daughter. “Honestly Regina she looks like little ragamuffin tom—”

Cutting in. “You bought her an ipod?” Regina exclaimed. Shock at seeing Mother here and on a work day no less, never mind the rest of the comment that was about to fly from that sharp mouth. Cora never left the office during business hours. Ever. Not even when Regina had been sick as a child. That had always been left to Daddy and while she had been closer to him as a result, sometimes she had just wanted her Mother and disappointment after disappointment that led her to stop asking for her Mother entirely. Regina lost these thoughts when Emma began bouncing in excitement over the gift. “Mother. She’s _five_.”

“And three fourths.” Emma and Zelena joined in automatically.

Regina looked at the ceiling. “I stand corrected, but she doesn’t—”

“And _this_ is just as I thought.”Cora closed the door behind her and added a fluid circular gesture to the room.

“Here we go with the truancy bit.” Zelena mumbled under her breath and crossed her arms to lean against the archway. Then she leaned a little more for emphasis to show exactly how she felt when Mother’s eyes came her way. With a wicked grin she countered back. “We are all ears Mother. Go ahead and rip them off.”

Cora rolled her eyes. “I expect more from you Zelena.”

Grin growing. “I know it and that just makes this that much more fun.”

Regina had enough of the banter and cut in. “What did you think Mother?”

“I thought originally that you or Emma even was sick because of that picture you sent with her all wrapped up in the blanket and you calling out today Regina. I was just,” a tight breath escaped, “trying to help Emma feel better. You always liked listening to music so much as a little girl and I just thought she might too.”

Eyes softening, Regina was about to speak, but was readily cut off when a hand was held up.

Cora shook her head. “But not the latter. You two are too told to be playing hooky, yet here you are and dragging Emma into it too.” Cora chided and sighed when both of her daughter’s eyes rolled. She was going to continue, but stopped when Regina’s hand mirrored her own.

“A moment before you continue to berate us. Emma, come here please.” Regina called. This had to be cleared up first before too much time passed. With no answer, she moved to turn Emma around by the shoulders to stand in front of her when little ears had not heard her. Green eyes darted up from the screen as Regina eased off the ear buds and wrapped the cord around the device, taking it to put in her pocket. “You may have this after a while little duck, but first,” leaning down she placed her hands on her knees to be eye level, “we’ve talked about answering the door without me and waiting when you are told not to, haven’t we?”

Emma chewed her inner cheek in thought and nodded.

“Use your words sweetheart.”

A sock toed a crack in the floorboard. “Yeah.”

“Thank you.” And softer still. “Did you hear me tell you to wait for me?”

A small nod and then, “but I was excited.”

“I could see that. Even so, what did I tell you would happen next time we had to talk about answering the door on your own?” Regina continued to coax little thoughts along. The last thing she wanted to do was discipline, but she had to be consistent no matter the timing if her expectations were going to stick.

A pout. “It was Cora though. Not a stranger.”

“It was and still I’d like an answer please.”

Emma gave a small huff as her shoulders dropped. “A timeout.”

“That’s right. I want you to think about why you need to listen about not answering the door without me.” Standing Regina guided those slumping shoulders to the bottom step of the stairwell as her Mother and Zee looked on. “Five minutes and then we will finish our talk.”

Emma sank down onto the bottom step with her elbows on her knees and chin in palms as she began thinking. She thought about the song stuck in her head first. Then about sitting on the step and even the funny sound the vent made when the air kicked on just now. She wiggled as what she was supposed to be thinking about began to take over her head.

Regina pulled her phone out of her pocket and set a timer, gesturing for her Mother and Zee to go into the kitchen. “You two make some tea and I’ll be along in a few minutes.”

“Sure throw me to the rabid she wolf.” Zelena jested and winked, taking their for once quiet Mother by the hand into the kitchen to do just that.

Crossing the hall, Regina leaned her shoulder against the wall, standing well where Emma could see her, but not engaging directly. While the discipline she was instilling was important she was also sensitive to where Emma’s needs were just now and leaving the room or Emma alone to serve a timeout was not productive to those needs. Minutes passed quietly. Then the sniffling started at the four minute mark. It took all of Regina’s resolve to wait until the five minutes passed before pocketing her phone and going to kneel down in front of Emma. Big green eyes took her heart away and even more when Emma gave a small wave complete with an adorable sniffle.

“Hi.”

“Hi sweetheart.” Regina said and gently tucked a loose curl behind Emma’s ear. “Do you understand why I put you in time out?”

“Cause of answering the door.” Soft and sorry. “It could be someone I don’t know and it’s not safe.”

“Good girl. Come here.” Right when she opened her arms Emma dove into them. Regina hugged the little girl close, rubbing a back and kissing a cheek. “If anything were to ever happen to you I don’t know what I would do. I love you and always, always want you to be safe, well, and happy. Sometimes that means you will do things I do not approve of and when that happens we will talk about it so you can make better choices next time.”

“Love you too Gina.” Said within the comforting smell of dark hair as Emma rubbed her cheek against Gina’s shoulder.

Those sweet words made Regina’s heart float. “I think you need some pants and perhaps in a little bit we may take a walk to the park. Would you like that?”

“Yeah!” Emma brightened over the idea. “Can we get hotdogs too?”

“We may, though I don’t think my Mother will eat one.” Fact was she used to not either until she got used to sharing them with Emma whenever they went to Central Park around lunch time. Originally she had been grossed out by the idea, but after tasting one her eyes had nearly rolled into the back of her head at how delicious they were much to Emma’s delight. Especially, with all the fixings Emma insisted on decorating the hot dog with. They were quickly becoming a favorite meal to share with Emma on occasion.

“I bet I can get her to.” Certain Emma pulled back. “I’m good at that, huh?”

“The best little duck.” Regina agreed and gently wiped at the chocolate at the corner of Emma’s mouth with her thumb. “I need you to do something for me mean time. After you get dressed and brush your hair I want you and Lucky Swan to play in your room for a while. Maybe you two can listen to your new ipod.” Handing it back over to little hands from her hip pocket. While she would not have bought one for Emma herself thinking the child too young, she was not about to take the gift away, but there would be some rules with it later they’d have to discuss.

“Kay… Is it so you guys can have adult time?” Emma leaned forward and played with a shiny button on Gina’s blouse.

Regina nodded. “Something like that.”

Looking up with a hint of a pout. “You said that lots and lots today.”

“I know, and I will have better answers for you soon.” She certainly hoped so. “Okay?”

“Okay.” Emma easily agreed. Squeezing in one more hug before she trotted upstairs to get dressed and play.

Regina stood up, stretching her back in the process and with a deep breath headed to the wolf waiting with red riding hood in the kitchen.

 

**::::::::::::::**

 

“So let me get this straight.” Cora said as she clasped her hands together around a cup of tea. “Kathryn is Emma’s mother—”

“Donor.” Ever one for being technical Zelena cut in automatically and promptly shut her mouth for once under the sharp look Mother shot her way after realizing what she said. She frowned. “Right. Sorry.” And went back to sipping her tea.

“ _Donor_ indeed.” Cora scoffed as her eyes found the ceiling for a moment. “That word makes this whole thing sound like a botched transfusion at a blood bank.” Ringed hands went tight around the mug and then released. “And the birth parents found dead. Is there any chance that foul play could follow Emma here?” Worry clearly spoke for everyone in the house.

“I don’t imagine how being so long ago.” Regina answered, stirring circles in her mug she had yet to take a sip of, now cool she realized and pushed it away.

Cora didn’t miss the way her daughter’s hand shook slightly. “You certainly did not imagine _this_ my dear.” And for the way Regina’s shoulder’s dropped she wanted to take up her eldest in a hug, but before she could move Regina moved away from the counter to the sink to dump the tea.

“I’m more than grateful that Emma shares a piece of Kathryn, but I haven’t had a moment to truly wrap my head around all of the details involving that yet.” The Gold one especially. Returning to her stool Regina finally looked at her Mother. It was almost startling seeing her in this kitchen. In spite of the closeness Christmas had brought them Mother had not stepped foot in her home since. It was back to business as usual the next day between them and she found herself longing for another glimpse of the softness they had shared then. “That’s why I needed a day away. Emma too and Zee. Yesterday at court was a lot to take in and even more so today.” At Mother’s questioning look she explained the blanket mystery leaving out the part about the Gold connection just yet. That since their previous fight at the office was still a raw subject between them she felt too drained to address right now. “And there is a lot still to sort out obviously, never mind telling Emma.”

“You will tell her about the lake? Are you sure that is the best idea?” Cora asked.

“I don’t see how I can’t.” Regina thought out loud. “At least a G rated version of it until she’s older. It’s her history. She deserves to know. Right now she thinks she magically appeared in a basket and a nice man, who was actually a drug addict, brought her to a fire station. He was hoping for reward money for a fix if he quote ‘turned in’ the child.”

Zelena perked up with surprise. “How’d you get those details Dick Tracy?”

“You are not the only one with an in at the police station.” Regina explained. “One of the officers on site who helped with the car accident gave me her card and said to call if I ever had questions about anything.” Shrugging under her sister’s wondering look. “I found it a few months ago when I was sorting some old files in my home office and thought it might be worth a call. She remembered me and when I explained the situation with Emma she pulled some strings and the witness statement the man gave to the police when he found Emma.”

Pondering that idea, Cora asked. “When will you tell her?”

Regina took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Preferably before or around when I have an answer about the blanket, but on _that_ mystery I don’t even know where to begin.”

“I think I might.” Zelena mused. “But you’re not going to like it.”

“I don’t like a few things right now Zee, but not knowing how to answer my daughter’s questions when they come is the worst of them at the moment.” Regina tried to keep an open mind. “Where would we even start?”

“Kat’s journals.”

Thick and quick. _“_ No. _”_

“GiGi she was a regular daily scribe. You said it yourself.” Six months after the funeral they’d boxed up dozens of them to put in the attic. Frustrated on this point, Zelena thought the answer was clear. “I bet if we dig through them there will be clues to this whole thing if not a direct answer in black and white by her hand.”

Again and heated. “I said _no_.”

And Zelena answered with some heat of her own. “Well why the fuck not?”

“ _Language_.” Cora admonished.

Rolling her eyes, Zelena tried again. “Look. You want answers. I’m good at finding them. Let me help.” Then taking her sister’s hand. “If it’s the reading of them that will bring up too many feelings then let me do it.”

“It’s not that. It is, but not how you are thinking.” Regina shifted in her seat. “Kathryn was very private with her writing. When we first moved in together she asked me to promise not to read her journals if I came across them in the house. Those were the one thing that belonged entirely to her and got her though the hell she lived through growing up. I won’t break that promise.”

“Then let me break it.”

Dark curls shook unwavering.

For her last try, Zelena played her best hand. “Even if it means giving your daughter and _hers_ answers?”

Amber eyes narrowed and at more than the question. Damn if Zee knew exactly what to ask to get her to question her heart. Regina’s feelings were complicated and there were far too many of them crashing together in her mind right now. She felt each one pulling her heart in a different direction. Emma was here. Kathyrn was not. But she had _promised_ and she wondered if promises still counted with the dead when the living were affected.

Regina didn’t know.

But she did know Emma. Once a question began spinning under those blonde curls it did not go away until it was answered. She knew her daughter and she knew Kathryn too. Then Regina decided for the one her heart had to put first now. “Be careful with them.” Hand slipped away from her sister’s and joined the other to clasp in her lap. “Treat them with the utmost respect.” Regina’s nails dug into her palms sharply. “She used to date them on the inside cover. So check and make sure you only read what you must.”

Nodding and completely serious Zelena assured. “I will. You have my word.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N – Happy Saturday! Hope you liked the fluff. Some angst coming soon…
> 
> Next week – Emma’s distraction puts her safety at risk. Regina's mistake reveals a past issue needing attention.


	6. Disppearing Acts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N – Happy Saturday! Some angst ahead. Regina makes a mistake in a moment of terror and realizes something important.
> 
> *Warning – small PTSD flashback (mild)

**Chapter 6 – Disappearing Acts**

**::::::::::::::::::**

By the following Saturday Regina was exhausted again. While the day off mid week last Wednesday reset them all straight energy wise, her work had caught up with her. Gold was riding her for one deadline after another since the deal they’d made and one deadline in particular due before his trip tomorrow morning to visit with another London client looking to sign with a new company. He wanted the quotes she was still working out within their company budget by the end of the day. The very thought of him and his connection to Emma that could threaten hers made her stomach cramp.

Every single time.

Emma had another difficult therapy session Thursday evening of that week which resulted in a few sleepless nights for both of them. It also left Regina with limited patience and Emma as well. Between school, scouts, therapy and day to day things that needed to be done there had been limited time for them to just be together as they had been last Wednesday. Zee was also tied up with work and also working on finding answers in Kathryn’s journals. They had seen little of her since and that was not sitting well with Emma.

None of it was.

“Gina you said we would go see ZeeZee for dinner a long-long-long time ago.” Emma whined from her place on the office rug playing with her stuffed swan as she watched Gina go through the bazzionth paper in a big red file most of the afternoon. That file had been around aaaallll week and she was beginning to hate the attention it took and the way it made Gina’s forehead vein pop each time it was open.

Regina sighed as her glasses slipped down her nose regarding the little girl sitting at her feet. She uncrossed her legs and leaned forward a bit. “Emma, sweetheart I’ve told you a few times now that we would leave when the little hand is on the four. Where is it now?” Pointing to the clock.

Green eyes squinted to the clock on the desk. “The three.” Almost. And her shoulders slumped. She was excited to go see ZeeZee and adults took forever. They also hadn’t been out to do anything fun for a whole week and a half. And that was longer than forever. Gina had another deadline and she wasn’t sure what that meant, but she knew it had to do with the red folder. And right now she wanted to take that folder and flush it down the toilet.

“We have an hour yet before we leave and I need to get some work done so we may have the whole evening together when we get back to do whatever you please.” She promised Emma time with just the two of them after a family dinner with Zee this evening. After Emma was in bed she’d have just enough time to finish up with this file and scan it to Gold and be done with it.

Thinking that over Emma gave into her desire of the moment. “I wanna go noooww.” She wanted attention too in her cranky state, but didn’t know how to ask for what she wanted another way.

Setting the paper down for a moment Regina leaned forward more and took up a pouty chin in hand. “I hear you Emma, but you need to wait for a while longer. You may wait here with me if you play quietly like I’ve asked you or you may play in your room. Whining at me is not one of your options, however.”

“But Gina pleaassse…” Her hands hit the carpet in protest.

“No Emma. Keep up the whining and you may sit on your step for five minutes. So what is your choice? Play in here, in your room, or sit on your step?”

Emma didn’t want the last part and she also didn’t want to wait to go to ZeeZee’s apartment, or play quietly or be by herself in her room. Weekends were supposed be their time, not work time. Gina had said so before and frustrated Emma stood up and pushed the file from Gina’s lap to the floor.

Papers scattered. Regina took a breath and kept her tone neutral. “You are choosing your step then for pushing the papers and not making a good choice about listening.” Standing she held out her hand to take Emma’s and moved them toward the door. Emma walked with her until that point and then pulled back on her hand with a shrill whine. Regina easily turned to pick up the child before continuing to walk down the hall way. She set Emma down by the bottom step of the staircase leading to the third floor. “Five minutes and when you are all calmed down we will talk.”

“I don’t wanna talk! I wanna go to ZeeZee’s.” Arms crossed and sniffling Emma stomped her foot.

“And you don’t have talk at all right now. Sit please.” Pointing to the step and waiting nearly a full minute until Emma finally realized she meant business.

A glance at her watch and Regina started timing as she waited with Emma. Child huffed from the step for the first two minutes, then by the third sniffles came around again and by the last one Emma was quiet resting with forehead on knees with little arms tight around them. That posture pulled at Regina’s heart in the worst way and when the five minute mark hit she went over and knelt down like she always did. Gently she stroked little circles on the back of a hand, but Emma didn’t look up.

“Your timeout is all done sweetheart. Tell me why you are sitting here.”

Green eyes peeked up over kneecaps. “Cause I pushed away the papers and didn’t listen.”

Soft as she continued stroking circles. “That’s right. We don’t push things people are using when we are upset and not listening to the things I ask of you is not okay. I will always try to give you choices and you may not like all of them, but when I ask you to pick one you need to without whining, pushing things, or stomping your foot. Alright?”

Emma’s voice was small and heat filled. “Kay.”

Regina knew that tone and the veiled look accompanying it. Emma had shut down and needed time. It would be a while before Emma was ready to talk more with her. Still she tried. “May I have hug?”

Blonde curls shook. Emma still felt mad, but not as much as before. She wanted those arms around her too in the worst way, but also didn’t like that she’d gotten in trouble. She’d also gotten attention, but not the kind she wanted and decided then and there not to argue with Gina anymore ‘cause she didn’t want to sit on the step again.

While that refusal stung Regina knew where it was coming from. Sometimes Emma shut down during redirection and there was a balance between providing patience and reasonable expectation she was still learning to master. Questioning her decision on how she’d handled the situation Regina simply kissed the back of a small hand and stood up. “When you are ready for that hug I will be waiting. Meantime let’s go pick up the papers together and you can decide where you would like to play until it is time to go to ZeeZee’s.” Regina stood and held out her hand. Emma took it and she squeezed once leading them back to her office.

When Emma handed the last paper over she looked up at Gina. Those eyes were sad again and Emma knew it was her fault. Maybe Gina wouldn’t wanna hug her no more since she said no to the offer of a hug. Maybe she’d hafta leave, but Gina said this was her forever home. She believed those words. Took them to heart and decided they were real. Then she felt bad for not hugging Gina and in that feeling hurting her tummy she broke her silence. “I wanna go to my room Gina.”

“Are you sure?” Getting a nod that didn’t quite seem right, but wanting to respect Emma’s space Regina nodded. “Alright little duck.” Giving curls a gentle ruffle as Emma walked away.

Emma went up to the third floor and right into her room. She stood there for a minute thinking. She needed to talk to ZeeZee. Sometimes when she couldn’t say stuff right and Gina wasn’t there, ZeeZee helped her thoughts come out. Gina was here. But Gina needed to finish the papers so they could have time later. Would Gina still want time with her later? The idea of that not being the case made Emma’s eyes water.

If she could get ZeeZee to help then she could tell Gina these feelings when they weren’t coming out. Emma knew how to get there ‘cause it was one block left outside of the brownstone from the corner light and three blocks right from the deli. They had walked there plenty of times especially since it was warmer out. Decision made Emma put on her yellow backpack, just in case, and took her new red I-pod from her desk. The music always made her smile and she wanted to listen to it on her walk if she wouldn’t have Gina to talk to.

Then she bit her lower lip at that thought. Gina might get worried. She would leave a note. Getting out a notebook and marker from her school bag she scribbled:

 

_walK to ZZ_

_lOv EmMa_

 

**:::::::::::::::::**

 

Regina glanced at the clock across the way. Nearly 3:20 and still a ways off from the time to leave she couldn’t concentrate in the least. She slipped her glasses off and rubbed the bridge of her nose in thought. Emma had been looking forward to this dinner with Zee all week and she had been too. It was unusual not to see her sister every few days in some fashion and she hadn’t in nearly a week except for Zelena’s quick pick up of Emma on Thursday morning for school.

Sighing she looked at the file on her lap. One that any other member of her staff would have been more than capable of piecing together before she gave it a once over. She’d trained them to be more than capable so she wouldn’t have to do this part. Gold was a bully and she had more than her fair share of them in her life. This would be the last time she let him dictate just how she ran her side of the business. Emma needed her time and mattered far more than putting a plastic smile on his face. For now she was keeping up at work and she would need to for just a bit longer before things would slow down. Decision made to finish later tonight she closed the file and left it on her desk.

Running her fingers through her hair Regina stood and made her way up to the third floor to tell Emma they were leaving early. Maybe that would bring a smile back to her little one. Calling as she entered the yellow room she looked about. “Emma how would you like to…” And trailing when it was clearly empty.

She checked the bathroom and then her room calling again before going back to the yellow room. Sometimes Emma played hide and seek so she checked the closet and under the bed. Nothing and standing Regina did a sweep of the room and felt her chest tighten. Yellow backpack gone from the back of a desk chair where Emma kept it and in its place was a note in red crayon. Skimming and heart beating she fished her phone out of her pocket to call a well used number as she quick footed downstairs.

Slipping her Keds on by the front door and grabbing her keys Regina left the brownstone and headed in the direction of her sister’s apartment. “Come on Zee pick up, pick up, pick up.” Scanning the side walk and streets, Regina began jogging. Phone rang and rang and finally an answer.

“GiGi, I was on Facetime with Ambrose being told what a goddess I am in bed so this better be—“

Interrupting. “Zee is Emma there?”

“ _What?_ No why would she be?”

“She left a note that she was walking to your place. I’ll explain, but meet me half way.” Running faster and rounding the corner by the deli Regina took off in a full sprint. People, faces passing, but none of them her little girl.

“Shit. On my way.”

And the phone went dead. Shoving it in her back pocket Regina kept up the run until she hit a no crossing sign flashing another block down. Impatient she waited in the crowd right on the edge. Traffic was thick this time of day and jetting through it was not an option. The sidewalks were crowded with people too. Craning her neck, she saw a hint of yellow and blonde through the zooming cars across the walkway.

Emma.

Her little girl was standing just off the curb across the street from her waiting to cross to the opposite side. “Emma!” Regina cupped her hands and yelled to be heard above the buzz of the city and honking taxis.

Child didn’t even look up, but was looking down at something and Regina realized it was the ipod and Emma couldn’t hear her. Anxiety mounted and her heart hammered, but was slowing some now that Emma was within her sight. Regina toed the curb, trying to find an opening to cross early but there were way too many cars. Finally the walk sign changed on her end and Regina ran toward Emma. Calling again as she got half way across the walk just as a moving van was getting ready to take a sharp corner.

Right into Emma.

Past and present blurred—flashed and crashed right before her eyes and Regina screamed.

**_“Emma!”_ **

 

**_:;:_ **

 

Emma waited at the cross walk one block away from ZeeZee’s apartment. This light always took forever and ever and she kept looking up waiting for it to change but it hadn’t yet. There were a lot of people out today and the corner was full. She toed the curb and stepped down when someone bumped into her backpack. Another look up and still the sign was still red. Emma squinted at it and then up at the adults around her.

Many were on their phones or looking at the light. She looked down again and scrolled through the song list looking at the song pictures as the _Finding Nemo_ soundtrack played. There were a few song titles she could read, but she mostly relied on the pictures to find the one she wanted. Another peek up and an anxious step forward, but it was still red. Emma looked down again. Then she heard screeching and yelling and her head popped up as the shiny metal bumper of a big white truck flashed before her eyes. Her mouth opened to scream.

One yank.

Back and Emma fell back against the legs of someone as the white truck went zooming by. Emma blinked against the sun light and the sting of her eyes. She was shaking. Then Gina was there right in front of her kneeling on the sidewalk. Gina was saying her name over and over again and holding her face and shoulders. Then Emma was in Gina’s arms so tight where she had wanted to be before and she couldn’t breathe ‘cause it was so tight. And Emma tasted salt on the corners of her mouth and Emma heard herself saying, “ _sorry-sorry-sorry,”_ and Emma realized she was crying.

Then Gina lifted her all the way up into a hug and she wrapped her legs snug around a waist. Emma could smell the fear and worry and all the big grown up feelings under her nose as she buried her face into the safety of dark hair. Sounds and emotions blurred and she couldn’t focus on any one of them. Then her bottom tingled from a hand leaving and now resting there rubbing, but she didn’t care. It snapped her mind into focusing on the strained voice in her ear. She listened to the ache there. Emma kept saying sorry after and she was and was scared for what almost happened in the road and Gina was too. And Emma promised over and over not to do this ever never again…

 

**:;:**

 

Regina bit her inner cheek to blood as she caught her breath between the sobs rising in her throat to escape with Emma straddling her front. Little legs wrapped snug around her hips. Blood pumping in her ears where it mixed with Emma’s little promises. Her heart was against Emma’s where it belonged; both reaching through bone and flesh to hold the other as her words tumbled out running together between Emma’s tears falling on her neck. “My baby—don’t ever do this—leave without telling—you could have been—”

Something moved. And something returned. Then as her mind slammed back into the present moment Regina realized what she had done. Emma wiggled in her arms briefly only to hug her tighter, little wet face pressing into her as she pressed her lips to Emma’s temple. She felt where her hand was now rubbing and she felt her stomach turn upside down. But Regina could only hug Emma closer in her upset and terror.

Lost.

Regina thought she had lost Emma. That the truck would take her baby same as the one she had seen take Kathryn from her. Rubbing more where she realized she had swatted Emma she felt new tears rising over the fact. Regina hadn’t meant too at all. But even unaware she had done so in the tangle between terror and loss. She felt the nausea welling over her mistake in her stomach pushing up and then something else.

Relief.

Emma was safe. In her arms safe and then she looked over to the person who had yanked Emma back from the truck—a ready thank you on her lips that would never be enough for the gift in her arms, but her eyes took in a flash of blue ones across the way over a small knowing smile she recognized. ‘ _Kathryn?’_ Regina blinked violently as a shudder ripped through her. Mouth parted to speak the name, but then no one was there when they opened. Regina turned every which way searching as Emma clung tighter to her neck. Gone in the crowds passing her or not there at all, Regina didn’t know in just how quickly everything had happened. It had been mere seconds from the time she had shouted Emma’s name to standing here now spinning in circles.

Then quick footsteps. Zelena was running toward them. There was more than one question in the concerned eyes of her sister as Zelena’s arms opened wide to hold them both. Regina just fell into them and burst into tears.

 

**:::::::::::::::**

 

Regina stirred her tea and put the spoon in her mouth to rest. The honey sweet on the tip of her tongue soothed her nerves for a moment before she set it aside and took a sip. It was nearing five o’clock, but time felt frozen to her still. Her blood like ice locked on that moment right between utter devastation and promise of relief.

After she had recovered from realizing who ever had pulled Emma back from the curb had disappeared—it couldn’t have been who she had thought; impossible—she had walked side by side with her sister to Zelena’s apartment building. Carried Emma in her arms despite the way they had been shaking all the way up to the loft on the top floor.

Decorated in vintage chic the loft felt both minimalist in sparse decor and homey for the soft colors and framed family pictures gracing the great brick wall opposite the one with several tall windows. All the photos were black and white of her and Zee, Mother and Daddy, and among the newer ones, Emma in different combinations with them hung there. Regina turned away from looking at them to go stand at one window overlooking Central Park and heard footsteps approaching.

“Little Monkey is out like light on my bed.” Zelena began as she neared Regina. “Apparently near death experiences are quite exhausting.” Trying to help in her humor it was too soon she realized as wet amber eyes brushed over her. “Oh God! I’m a twat with a big mouth. I’m sorry GiGi, come here.” Zelena eased her arm around her sister’s shoulders and gently began steering them toward the kitchen bar. “Hey I’m so, so sorry. That was insensitive of me.”

“It’s okay Zee, really.”And it was for her sister had only been trying to help take away the heaviness she had yet to explain crushing the room. Regina took a long slow breath as she thought on where to begin. Before, during, and after screaming Emma’s name was spinning like a cyclone between her temples.

“Talk to me. You haven’t said near a word since you got here.”

The moment they had gotten into the apartment Regina had looked Emma over head to toe to make sure her little one was not hurt. Emma had curled up after in her lap on the couch not letting go and then had fallen asleep soon after. Zee had carefully exchanged Emma for the tea Regina now set on the counter. Side by side she sat with her sister for a few quiet moments. Then she began where she thought she may need to.

“I spanked her.”

Zelena’s brows shot up in shock and then fused in confusion. “Like a right proper one or like a pat on the bum?”

Reflecting, Regina looked away to her hands wrapped around a mug, griping harder to minimize the slight shake left over. “Neither really I guess. It was more of a swat.” Regina’s teeth tore dry skin from her lips and shook her head. “There’s no excuse for it. She’d scared me to death and once I knew she was okay it just happened—I didn’t want _that_ to ever happen again.” Memories of Kathryn’s death flashed once more. The yellow bug rolling through the intersection. White truck screeching through a red light. The sound of glass and bone rushing together toward concrete… A violent shudder shot down Regina’s spine as the room returned so much so that her tea spilled over the rim of her mug. She reached for a napkin to wipe at the mess, but Zee took over.

“Here, let me. Well, I’m sure once you talk to her and explain things you’ll be able to get on the same page again.” Taking a trembling hand Zelena held firm as Regina returned her gaze.

“I don’t want to raise her that way Zee. It’s different with Emma.” And it was in so many ways.

Not sure she understood, Zelena’s head tilted a bit. “I get that, but we turned out just fine though from an occasional pop didn’t we? However, Mother might argue that point ‘til her grave.”

Regina shook her head elaborating. “I suspect that spanking has been used with Emma in her past. She never said so exactly, but more importantly I told her I wouldn’t.” Remembering clearly the afternoon in her office right before Christmas when Emma had stolen the apple from the fruit vendor. Her little one had thought she was in big trouble. Emma hadn’t been. They had simply talked, but Emma had clearly thought something else would happen instead before Regina had cleared that up.

“Now I understand. You’re worried she’ll resent or fear you for it.”

“Exactly.” Nodding as her shoulders dropped. Regina hid her face in palms and then ran them through her hair, gripping there. “I reacted in the moment and while I am not happy with my reaction,” and this is what bothered her she realized, “I honestly don’t feel completely wrong for it either. I didn’t hurt her, just got her complete attention which is the point of a swat. But with the adoption—Zee, she is not even legally my daughter yet.” There were rules in place on things Regina could and could not do and by crossing this line, even for the reason if it became known she could lose Emma. The gravity of that mistake made her throat close and face flush hot in worry.

Thinking those words over and her sister’s rising panic Zelena put her hand on a bouncing knee. “Hey, it’s going to be okay. You reacted as a lot of parents would in such a moment I imagine. Parents make mistakes. And you don’t need a piece of paper to be her Mother, GiGi.”

“But it’s _different_.”

“Is it?” That got amber eyes back up and she continued. “Do you remember when you and I decided we wanted to be mermaids at the pier the one summer when we stayed at that campground?”

A hint of a red smile as that memory surfaced. “Mother got eaten alive by mosquitoes.” A vision of their mother clothed head to toe, hair wrapped in a silk scarf and big sunglasses in the summer humidity sitting under an umbrella with Daddy while she and Zee played on the beach front warmed behind her eyes. It was the only vacation she could remember them all taking as a family when she had been Emma’s age. She suspected that is perhaps why it was so vivid in her mind just then.

“Those masochist little bugs dared to go after her.” Zelena smiled softly. “Anyway, we didn’t know how to swim well yet and had been warned more than once to stay away from that pier and you dragged me kicking and screaming…”

Regina snorted and reached for her tea. “As I remember it was the opposite of that, but yes. Go on.”

“Fine, we dragged each other equally kicking and screaming to the pier. Damn old thing was clinging together by splinters. We held hands and were about to get our mermaid groove on in the water when Mother caught us both by the backs of our suit straps before we could dive off to our deaths and yanked us back. She gave us each a pop on the bum and a talking to and that was it.” Raising both brows. “We certainly never did that again did we?”

Regina gave a faint smile for the memory of common mischief and then lost it on the corners of her mouth. “It’s still different with Emma, Zee. She doesn’t come from a place of consistency and support where discipline was handled from a place of love.” Or in their Mother’s case; a tepid affection. Though, that particular memory of Mother was anything but. Mother had been scared and the way Regina remembered being held so long and tightly in those arms after spoke volumes of the love behind that fear. She hadn’t resented her Mother for it, quite the opposite. The open affection from Mother had been unexpected and surprisingly welcome. That was also one of Regina’s clearest memories from being that young.

Zelena nudged a shoulder gently. “But she does now and one pop on the bum doesn’t make you a bad parent GiGi. Far from it for where your heart is and was on the matter at the time. You’re going to make mistakes and it’s what you do with them after the fact that matters. How do you think Emma even feels about it?”

Thinking back to that moment, Regina explained what happened. “She hugged me tighter, apologized and promised not to do it again.”

“Well there you go then.”

“No because I don’t know if she even knows what for. I need to speak with her later about it when we get home, but the way she’s been behaving and looking at me Zee…” Regina tried to express a gut feeling she couldn’t name. “Emma’s eyes are telling me something is not okay, my mistake aside completely; she’s not opening up about something.” She went on to explain what had happened right before Emma left the brownstone and finally with some prying questions from her sister more of what had been going on with Gold at work began to come out. The pressure coming off, all of it now in the open felt like the balloon in her throat had finally popped.

“I knew he was slimy, but bully is a better word.” Red curls shook in disgust. “Have you told Mother how he’s been riding you?”

“Told her? Zee—she was in the room when I made that deal with him. There’s a file I owe him tonight before his flight to London tomorrow for a meeting with a potential client. I’m nearly finished with it, but I still need another hour or two before it is ready to go.” Regina sighed. “That doesn’t matter though.”

“It does GiGi and your team is more than capable of doing that grunt work for you. You have bigger fish to fry or in this case a crocodile.” Thinking Zelena tapped her chin. “Maybe I can help somehow with the work he’s sending your way.”

“I appreciate it but I need to deal with him that way myself.” A concerned frown, “Besides, you have enough on your plate with work and Kathryn’s journals. Speaking of which, any luck?”

“I’ve got it narrowed down to five books out of the three dozen in the boxes and I am just finishing reading the first one, but not yet.” Zelena caught the flinch that crossed her sister’s face. “What was that look for?”

“What look?”

“Just now you looked like you saw a ghost.”

“I guess in a way I did or have been.” Regina agreed with that assessment. “When I realized Emma was okay I sort of had a flashback of Kathyrn’s accident. It was like it had happened all over again it was that real.”

“That sounds terrifying.”

“It was.” Thinking more on it, Regina leaned forward and rested her forearms on the counter. “I also thought I saw her after, standing on the sidewalk. Someone, a woman I think, pulled Emma back out of the way of the truck. I was going to thank her and I thought… I thought for a moment it was Kathryn.”

“That must have been some mind fuck.” Zelena sat up straighter at the very idea of being in her sister’s shoes and pursed her lips. “What did the woman say?”

“She didn’t. It was as if she was there and gone.” Sinking down in her chair Regina spoke much quieter. “I met with Emma’s therapist a few weeks ago and he offered to take me on as a new client if I ever wanted to talk. I ended that conversation quickly enough, but it got me thinking.” Biting her lip she gave unveiled eyes up in question. “Am I that broken over Kathryn that I’m seeing things that are not there?”

Zelena took her sister into her arms. “Whatever you saw you’re being much too hard on yourself. You went through something no one should have to ever go through. Grief is personal and no one deals with it the same way.”

Swallowing thickly Regina let herself be held for another moment before pulling back. “When did I become someone who let my emotions rule me that he asked such a question?”

Chuckling, Zelena squeezed her sister’s shoulders. “Since middle school, but seriously. You’ve always been passionate and when you feel things you feel them deeply. Day to day emotions, no you are not that transparent, but with anything Kathryn or Emma related your heart’s a neon sign.”

Regina rolled her eyes at the comparison. “Fair enough.”

“Why does that bother you? Over Kat I mean. You are still healing.”

“I just don’t want my grief to affect how I react to certain situations.”

Zelena nodded in understanding now. “Like today with Emma.”

“Exactly.”

“Wine is cheaper than therapy you know.” Getting a playful nudge Zelena nudged right back. “So the Evil Queen has a few issues she needs to deal with then?”

A dark bow arched in amusement. “If the Evil Queen has issues than the Wicked Witch does too by proxy.”

Taking a sip of tea Zelena easily agreed. “We are both a bunch of nutters then.” She smiled around the rim of her mug at the rich laughter coming from the stool next to her.

“Maybe so, but this nutter is considering taking him up on the offer.” Sitting back Regina mused aloud. “Who knows? Might do me some good to have someone other than you to talk to for once.” Said with a wink.

“And give up my hourly bitching rate I’m charging you. I think not. I’ll have you committed.” Laughing over the idea. Then serious again as her sister’s mood seemed to shift. “What is it?”

Regina sucked in her bottom lip and let it go just as quick as her eyes filled. She reached to thread her fingers through her sister’s. “Have I ever told you how grateful I am that you’re my sister?”

Smirking. “I take payment in Starbucks stock and gift cards.”

A long squeeze as Regina rubbed her thumb across the bridge of soft knuckles. “I couldn’t have gotten through the last year and a half without you.”

Dewey moss reflected the affection shining her way. “And you’ve been there for me plenty growing up. It’s my turn.” And Zelena pulled Regina into her arms and held strong as tears slipped down both their cheeks. “Besides who else but someone just as bonkers will put up with me?”

And Regina did know that as she smiled and held her sister closer. “I love you too, Zee.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N – Next time Regina talks with Emma. Mega fluff of the fluffiest fluff that ever fluffed ensues.


	7. A Mills Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N – Fluffy fluff in this chapter.
> 
> Also – I will not be posting next week. Work has been insane and I need a few weeks to catch up on my editing/writing for this fic and life stuff. I will be back posting chapter 8 on Sat. 8/17 and regularly again after that. Enjoy!

**Ch. 7 – A Mills Girl**

**::::::::::::::::::::::**

After Emma had woken up they had a quiet dinner at the loft of spaghetti and salad with Zelena. The adults mostly talked of small inconsequential things, trying to draw Emma into conversation, but the sleepy girl seemed to be deep in her own thoughts throughout the meal. Emma helped clear the table after dinner while the sisters cleaned up. Halfway through Zelena waved them off to go home. Regina was grateful that Zee offered to call them a cab with a promise to follow them there in time for Emma to be tucked in that night at the brown stone at 8:30. Thoughts of staying put at the loft for the night came and went. Emma needed the routine used to in their own home and wouldn’t sleep a wink without her baby blanket anyway.

The taxi ride was quiet except for Regina’s soft humming of a nameless tune that she used to soothe Emma on nights the little one came to her room from a nightmare. Emma leaned heavy into Regina’s side, resting against her shoulder. Regina kissed Emma’s temple taking time to close her eyes and breathe in the scent of Emma’s apple conditioner as she did so. They held hands; fingers threaded strong in a connection Regina hoped would be enough to see them through the talk they had yet to have. Once the taxi pulled up on the curb Regina put the single bill borrowed from Zelena in the driver’s hand and helped Emma out. He tried to give her change, but she didn’t care about anything except getting Emma inside and settled.

Once inside Emma slipped off her sandals. She put them in the basket by the door with her other footwear and chewed her bottom lip in wait for Gina to say something. Her toes curled in and out in her socks. They had talked some at dinner, but not about what happened and Emma had tried to eat and found she couldn’t as much as she usually did. The adults didn’t either and she knew it was her fault. She brought her pinky to her mouth and in it went to suck as it always did when she needed comfort as her thumb rubbed her cheek.

Emma also knew not to leave the house without Gina. To ask if she wanted to go outside and that walking such a long way by herself was not okay. Thinking back to what she had done today made her tummy do somersaults again. Emma knew these things. And each one crawled up from her stomach and into her throat to get out, but it felt too tight and hot there. Her eyes stung.

Nothing was coming out.

So she waited for Gina to take her hand again and followed the woman she had come to love more than anyone ever, ever upstairs to her room. They were there in the place Gina tucked her in each night and where stories were read in funny squeaky voices until Emma was in stitches with laughter and where Gina had given her Lucky Swan her first day here. This was where Emma felt safe to fall asleep; to keep her most prized possessions and where Gina first told her she was loved. This is where her yellow backpack was slipped off her shoulders and Emma watched as Gina put it back on the chair where it belonged. Home like it belonged and they were now.

Then Gina was talking in that soft kind way that made Emma’s ears perk up and her heart slow down. Emma tried to listen, but then the tears were back being mean to her eyes again and making them sting and fall down her cheeks. Falling like she was into those arms she loved to have holding her up tight and never let go. There with her cheek pressed up against Gina’s chest and a heart beating in her ear Emma’s voice started to work. “Sorry, I’m sorry Gina.”

“Oh sweetheart I am too.” Regina moved them to the bed and sat, lifting Emma up on her lap and tucking her in close. She ran her hand through Emma’s hair as the other rubbed up and down a back, tucking stray curls behind little ears as she kissed the top of her daughter’s head. Resting her lips there a moment and then her cheek as she began to rock. “We have a lot we need to talk about, but right now I just want to hold you. Is that okay?”

“Uh-huh, and don’t let go.” A hard sniff as more tears fell. Emma curled her arms up over the arms holding her tight as she began to calm down.

They sat that way for a long time and Emma remembered back to the time she’d gone to the subway station near Christmas when she thought Gina was gonna send her back to the group home. Gina had come for her then and then again today when she had ran off, but today Emma was almost hurt ‘cause she had been mistaken about what Gina was thinking like she had been then. Gina had said she would always, always and forever want Emma. And Emma felt wanted. Knew that she was loved in Gina’s arms. This felt good. Felt right to be on this lap in these arms and she had to say so. Needed Gina to know everything in her heart right now, but she also needed help to do it. “I wanna talk now.”

Kissing a brow Regina thought for a moment where to begin and decided to start with the timeout. “After your timeout earlier you seemed like you were still upset with me. Will you tell me why little duck?”

“I was mad we didn’t go to ZeeZee’s right then, but not like I was before sitting on the step.” Thinking back Emma tried to share her feelings. “And I wanted to show you I was mad so I didn’t give you hugs.” Emma dropped her chin to her chest. “And then I wanted hugs and I didn’t think you’d want to ‘cause I showed you I was mad but I didn’t say so ‘cause I didn’t know how and—” A cough as she caught her breath and her back was rubbed. “Sometimes ZeeZee helps me talk and I wanted to talk to her so I could talk to you and then we could hug again.”

Regina followed that jumbled train of thoughts right to the end of the track and beyond. Emma had trouble expressing feelings sometimes when too many became bottled up. And when Emma shut down like that a cap went on that shaken up bottle. Pressure built and it was harder to get the cap off. Regina was learning how to ease the cap open and close it, and repeating that process until the pressure was gone all the way. That was how they found they could get that cap off completely. Talking through each feeling in a sequential manner instead of all of them at once seemed to work best with Emma and so Regina continued in this fashion.

“First I want you to you know that your feelings, all of them, are more than okay and you can show me your feelings Emma. I want you to. All of them and I will always, always want to hug you anytime.” Lifting a chin Regina held green eyes in hers. “Sometimes there are ways we show our feelings that don’t work as well as others. Like not talking about them or keeping them inside.” She was certainly guilty of that herself, Regina realized and kept thinking that booking an appointment with whom Emma referred to as _the cricket_ was starting to sound like a good idea.

“Or pushing stuff and whining.”

“That’s right, you were listening before. And we will keep working on ways to show your feelings in appropriate ways.” Regina praised and continued. “I understand you wanting to see ZeeZee to talk and I am so glad you feel you can do so with her. And if you ever need or want to talk to her and she’s not here we can always call and you may talk as long as you need to. But leaving the house without asking or my knowing is not ever okay. Alright?”

Emma licked her lips. “I wrote a note.”

“You did and what is our rule about going outside.”

“I have to ask.” There were a lot of rules Emma was learning that she didn’t have before living here, but Gina reminded her a lot and didn’t yell if she forgot them—which was a lot in the beginning. They talked a lot about them too since then and that helped.

“Yes, I need you to ask me always, face to face. I must know where you are at all times outside of the house. You are too little to be without an adult and someone or something could have hurt you.” She felt Emma tense in her arms. She didn’t want to scare Emma, but awareness on the child’s part for her rules to be effective needed to start sticking. “When I went looking for you I was so scared when I couldn’t find you. So you have to always ask before you leave the house. Do you understand why that is so important?”

Nodding again and then Emma remembered to answer. “Yes Gina.”

“Now we need to discuss the I-pod and when and where you may listen to it. Outside when you are walking around is not safe.” Regina went on the lay down a few simple ground rules and had Emma repeat them back and the why behind them.

“I didn’t hear you or the truck.” Emma said and tucked her head up under Gina’s chin.

“I know and we are…” Regina paused swallowing down her prior worry as her eyes stung, “very lucky you are not hurt Emma.” And she waited for a long moment just feeling the weight of her precious baby in her arms before she lifted Emma up to stand in between her knees. Regina took two hands in hers, needing contact for the raw honesty to come, but also to see Emma fully as she said her next words. “I thought for a moment I had lost you and I was scared. I haven’t been that scared in a long time. Do you remember when you asked me about how Kathryn died back at Christmas time?”

A tiny nod came as Emma’s eyes began to grow wide. “You said that her car was hit by a man at the light.” Emma remembered that conversation and the other thing about angels they had talked about then too. Her head tilted. “Is that why I’m ok? Cause Kathryn’s an angel and she was watching out for me ‘cause you love me.”

A tear slipped. Then two and Regina nodded with a small smile. While she was not religious and didn’t plan to raise Emma in any particular faith she wanted to nurture the curiosity and conclusions Emma drew through experience. And after what she thought she saw today she couldn’t deny that idea Emma said even if she wanted to. “I think that is a good way to think about this sweetheart. I bet somehow, someway Kathryn was looking out for you too when she was here on this earth because she put a piece of herself in your blanket to keep you warm and safe.”

“That’s means my blankie is magic. Like her special perfume.” Grinning Emma leaned into the kiss given on her cheek.

“I have no doubt my little love.” Regina agreed it certainly was some kind of magic for how it connected them all and reached to tuck a curl behind the shell of an ear. She took a deep breath for the last issue to be discussed. She had done a lot of thinking and further talking on it with Zee at the apartment while Emma slept. “I want to talk to you about when I was holding you on the curb.”

“You were scared huh?” Emma asked, but she knew the answer already. She had felt it on the curb in the arms holding her.

“I was and I reacted to that fear in a way I told you I wouldn’t do by spanking you.”

Emma’s brows met in the middle of confusion. “But you didn’t.” And in her mind Gina hadn’t. She knew what a spanking was and what Gina did wasn’t anything like she’d ever experienced in the past.

Regina’s head shook. “Still I told you I wouldn’t and I was firmer with you than I ever meant to be without explaining to you why I was doing it.” And Regina had been without the words in the moment for her action to go with it. But the way Emma was looking at her said the child had different thoughts about the matter.

“Cause I wasn’t safe and you were scared.” Emma rocked on her feet. She understood. So why was Gina making it a big deal?

“I just don’t want to do anything to give you any reason to be afraid of me sweetheart. Not ever, ever. I’m so sorry Emma.”

Oh. Emma could make that all better. “I’m not scared of you Gina. I know you love me like how I love you.” Standing on tip toe Emma wrapped her skinny arms around a neck and popped a kiss on a wet cheek. “You make feel safe.”

Lips rolled in as her eyes closed and Regina thanked whatever higher energy existed for Emma’s words of forgiveness. She soaked in them, grateful so grateful for the forgiving arms around her neck. More so for the little girl in her arms that had woken her heart up to loving again.

 

**:::::::::::::::::**

 

An hour later nearing 8:00 the door bell rang. Regina set aside her hand of cards where she and Emma were playing crazy 8’s at the kitchen counter. Unlike during the day when that bell rang and Emma ran for the door right now the child hunkered down now on the kitchen stool as Regina stood.

“That’s probably just your ZeeZee. Do you want to answer the door with me little duck or stay here?”

“With you.” Emma readily dropped her cards and reached up with grabby hands to be lifted up.

Carrying Emma, Regina opened the door and just as she thought Zelena was standing on the stoop with a brown paper bag held up.

Red brows wiggled. “Do you fancy a screwdriver?”

“Since when do you drink those?” Regina stepped back as her sister stepped in and shut the door.

“I don’t, but I do drink wine. Got any? And do you have the actual tool?” Then leaning in and kissing Emma’s cheek. “Hello little Monkey. Feeling better?”

“Uh-huh.” A small smile bloomed on Emma’s face as she rested her head on Gina’s shoulder.

Zelena reached into the bag. “So do you GiGi?”

“Wine is where I always keep it and there’s a drill in the tool box in the pantry of the laundry room.” It had been Kathryn’s and for all the love and effort put into repairs around the brown stone throughout their marriage she hadn’t been able to part with any of them. “Why?” In answer a gold chain sliding lock in a package was held up.

“This will help keep my little Monkey safe. I’ll fasten it up top on the front door and at the very least it will slow down little hands.” Zelena reached to tickle Emma and was rewarded with a giggle. Then those arms reached for her.

Regina transferred Emma to Zee with a smile and took the box and bag to set aside. “This sounds like a wonderful idea and thank you.” Then watching the pair with a chuckle as funny faces were exchanged back and forth. “How about you help Emma get ready for bed and I’ll open some wine to breathe for later.”

Zelena’s head snapped back around at those words. While she and Emma had spent time together, playing or having snuggles she’d readily left all the day to day care aspects to her capable sister. She didn’t know the first thing about getting a kid ready for bed and was about to say so when Emma began bouncing in her arms.

“Yes! I can show you my bath toys and you can be the green ducky and I’ll be the red one.”

Zelena smiled softly at the enthusiasm in her arms. “How can I say no to that offer? I’ll need your help.” Eying her sister for directions and in question of the hearty laugh that followed.

“Oh Emma will tell you everything you need to know, won’t you sweetheart.” Regina assured her sister with a wink to her little girl.

“Yep!” Girl agreed with excitement. “I’m good at helping!”

“Great.” Zelena rolled her eyes fondly. “I get to be bossed around by a five year old.”

“Five and three fourths.” Emma and Regina said in unison.

“Right.” Laughing Zelena moved toward the stairs as her sister headed into the kitchen. “So where do I start in getting my little Monkey ready for bed?”

Twenty minutes later Zelena was sorry she’d asked that question. She got step by step directions in explicit detail. For every. Single. Thing. Zelena took direction for how much hot water to use and how much cold water and just how much water should go into the tub so a mess was not made. Then there was science lesson in the measuring of bubbles and a half a cap was plenty. She learned that five and 3/4th years olds could undress themselves, but needed help stepping into the tub. And how she was supposed to sit and wait to make sure Emma washed behind her ears and between her toes—all ten of them. She also learned that Monkeys didn’t like their hair washed, but it was Saturday so she had to on Saturdays and Wednesdays. Shampooing had been a battle she barely won and conditioning a war Zelena never had a chance at winning, so she gave that step up to Emma’s wiggles and giggles.

There was also an etiquette lesson of a sort on how to play properly with the duck toys and by the time the water was draining Zelena knew she needed a checklist to remember half of the things Emma said. _‘Gina did it this way, not that way’_ and then Emma would tell her why. A through education, indeed, followed on how to brush ones teeth and hair next. How too on nights her hair was washed they braided it on either side of her head so it would be extra curly in the morning and not tangle. Finally, little one was wrapped in a towel and dragging Zelena down the hall to the yellow room to get dressed.

Zelena was exhausted, but also filled with something warm and fuzzy she didn’t quite have the words for. “Alright, where are your pjs Monkey?” She stopped short at the door as Emma dropped her hand and scampered over to the bed. Her eyes followed a little finger to the second drawer of a dresser and she went to open it and fished out a yellow duck t-shirt and short set. “Socks and knickers?” At the queer look she explained. “Panties?”

Emma clutched the slipping towel tighter and bit her lip pointing to the first drawer, whispering. “In there.”

Zelena opened the other drawer and sorted through finding the pair of little monkey and banana socks she’d gotten Emma the other week and paused over the other choices. Thinking for a moment she went with her gut and returned to the bed with socks and a pair of Goodnites not missing the way Emma eyed those warily.

“Do you want help getting dressed?” A small nod and Zelena sat on the side of the bed starting with the t-shirt. “Arms up.” And she quickly popped the shirt over a blonde head and tickled a pair of ribs on the way down.

Emma’s bright giggle filled the room at ZeeZee’s silliness. Then the Goodnites were held out and she got quiet. She knew better than to fuss by now and didn’t as she stepped in and they were tugged up her legs, but felt the need to make sure her ZeeZee knew something super important. “I’m not a baby.”

Zelena eyes went soft as she held out the yellow shorts. Emma took hold of her forearms and stepped in. “No you are not at all. You are something far more wonderful and special.”

Emma tilted her head curiously as she put her foot in one sock and then another liking how when her feet stood together it looked like the monkey on the left sock was eating the banana on the right. “I am? What?”

“You are your Gina’s little Ducky and my Monkey and Cora’s Darling.” Zelena then lifted Emma up to sit on her lap as the girl played with the emerald of her gold necklace. “You’re also a Mills. And Mills girls are as strong as they come and sometimes we need a little help to remain so.” Gently patting a hip as Emma snuggled in. “And help doesn’t make us weak or mean we are babies. Quite the opposite.”

Emma thought on those words, liking them very much. “But that’s not my last name yet.”

“Not yet on paper.” Tapping a little heart with her finger, Zelena explained. “But in here, where it matters, you are a Mills and you always will be.” Then thinking to herself. _‘And you have been your whole life.’_ Movement by the door caught Zelena’s eye and she looked up to see her sister leaning against it. Amber eyes misting and then Emma’s arms were around her neck tight as Regina joined them on the bed. Little one rolled over to cuddle into her sister’s neck.

“Hear that Mama? I’m a Mills!”

Regina did hear Emma. A fierce sense of joy and love took over her heart and made her breath catch with the complete way it consumed her entire being. As that affection rolled sweetly natural from Emma’s mouth it parked right at home in her heart. She was Mama. _Emma’s_ Mama. Tears slipped down her cheeks in happiness she didn’t have words for. There was just this beautifully simple sense of belonging filling the room and she looked at her sister who was not fairing much better at keeping her cheeks dry. “I hear you my sweet little duck.” Regina held her daughter closer and kissed a temple, imprinting this moment forever to memory. “Mama hears you just fine.”

Emma beamed and pulled back to sit on her Mama’s lap and looked between the smiling adults with wet eyes watching her. Then she wondered something she’d wanted to ask. “Can I call you Aunt ZeeZee?” Wanting to claim the other affection for herself and her hand was taken by ZeeZee and one by her Mama.

“I thought you would never ask. Of course you may.” Zelena gave a watery grin to Emma and then her sister as the child snuggled back into dark hair. Clearing her throat. “Right. Well you two need a moment, I’m sure and all this crying has me wanting that wine you promised me GiGi.” Standing with another kiss to Emma’s blonde crown. “I’ll come say goodnight in a bit Monkey. I have some monkeying around to do of my own with a screw driver and a lock.”

Emma turned and waved. “See you soon Aunt ZeeZee.”

“Oh God I’ll never get tired of hearing that.” Zelena winked and left them be as she went downstairs.

“Time to read Mama?”

 _‘And neither will I.’_ Regina thought as Emma wiggled off her lap to stand up. “Yes sweetheart.”

“Can we read in your bed and have a sleepover there? You and me and Aunt ZeeZee? My bed is too small.”

Their beds were close to the same size, but that didn’t matter. Regina wanted Emma close after the day. “We certainly may. Get your blanket and Lucky Swan while I get our book.” Standing too. Once they had all those things she took up Emma’s hand, rubbing her thumb adoringly over little knuckles as she led the way to her room. She could hear the electric drill Zee had obviously found. It sputtered in bursts up from the ground floor and Zelena’s ever colorful verbal additions with it. Regina laughed softly as she covered one of Emma’s ears as they passed.

“What’s she saying?” Emma wondered aloud as they made their way into the master bedroom.

“Nothing you need to hear sweetheart.” Regina confirmed and quickly got Emma settled under the covers and cozy in her arms. A page into the story and Emma’s hands rested over the book getting her attention. “What is it?”

“Can I cut my hair?”

Regina’s brow rose at the sudden question. Ones she should be used to by now she supposed for how often Emma tossed them out before a more serious one and she wondered what was really hiding behind this question. “You want to cut it?”

Nodding. “I want bangs like Jasmine. ZeeZee says I would look adorkable with them.”

A small laugh for the word and Regina leaned in to kiss the top of Emma’s head. “You are _adorable_ with bangs or without.”

“So can I?”

“We’ll see.” She was partial to Emma’s long curls and Regina wanted to wait a while at least to see if Emma changed her mind as child was prone to doing over things like this.

“That means no.” A small pout.

“No, that means I need to think about it.” Then Regina noticed a shadow pass over that small face and forgetting the book in her lap she gently rubbed both hands up and down Emma’s arms. “What is going on in that head of yours little duck?”

Emma nibbled her bottom lip and looked up. “If ZeeZee is my Auntie, who is Cora?”

So that was the real question. “Well, she is your grandmother. Sometimes children call their grandmother’s different things like Grandma, Grams, Nana, Nona, or—”

“Nona. I like that one.” Emma decided.

Regina thought for a moment that her Mother might too. “Then Nona she is.” She looked down catching the thoughtful look on the girl’s face seeing there was more to help coax out. “What else are you thinking about sweetheart?”

“Kathryn.”

Her heart fluttered. “How so?”

“That if she wasn’t an angel she’d be my Mommy, huh?”

 _‘Oh my sweet little girl._ ’ Regina thought and held her bottom lip captive for a moment before she brought Emma’s hand up to her lips to kiss. “She would be and so proud to call you her own.” Right then and there she wanted to tell Emma about the connection with Kathryn, but late as it was and with the blanket still a mystery she felt she needed more time before doing so.

“I wish I could have met her.”

Her heart pinched over the mix of sadness and joy framing that statement. “Me too.” Regina agreed and wondered if somehow Kathryn might have. Time would tell and she cleared her throat to begin reading once more.

They read for about fifteen minutes with Emma fighting to stay awake through the end of the last part of their chapter, but green eyes fluttered shut and remained so. Regina closed the book after marking the page with a paper cut out of Emma’s hand the kindergartner had made and color last week in school. She set the book aside as she sat with Emma snuggled into her chest. Child’s breathing evened out slow and deep and she knew Emma was out for the night. Regina leaned down to kiss Emma’s forehead as she thought further about the day. It could have gone so differently, but it hadn’t. She swallowed _what ifs_ down and pushed _could haves_ away in her mind. Emma was here, safe in her arms and that was all that mattered.

There was a soft rapping on the door and Regina looked up as Zelena approached with two glasses of red wine. Nodding she sat up some, careful not to disturb Emma as she was handed a glass and her sister sat on the other side of them.

“She’s tuckered isn’t she?” Whispered around the lip of a wine glass as Zelena sipped and crossed her legs underneath her. She leaned forward to rest her elbows on her knees.

Nodding Regina took a sip too finally taking in the black tank top and silk sleep pants her sister was wearing that she’d had hung up in the laundry room to dry earlier. “Glad to see you’ve made yourself at home.”

“I do like these. You have good taste.” Zelena fingered the draw sting at her waist and quirked her eyebrow. “Your tooth brush on the other hand…” She stuck her tongue out.

Regina grimaced nearly spitting her wine back into her glass. “You didn’t.”

Returning the look in jest. “Ew, no. I keep a spare one in my purse so relax. You won’t get my cooties.”

“You sound like your niece.”

Zelena smiled dreamily at Emma. “She has a way with words that one.”

“That she does” Regina agreed and gazed lovingly down at the little girl sleeping in her arms that had a way with melting hearts too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N – Hope you enjoyed this. I’ll be back on Aug. 17th.


	8. Reflection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end of chapter notes.

**Chapter 8 – Reflection**

**::::::::::::::::::::::**

Early Monday evening at her office Regina sat at her desk staring at two computer screens and felt the beginnings of a headache coming on. Eight of the thirty two emails that needed her immediate attention were from Gold. Each one she had skimmed and began to prioritize on the list in front of her for what he was asking when her cell phone buzzed. Glancing at the screen she perked up seeing a text from her sister and swiped to see a picture of Zee and Emma cheek to cheek drinking from straws in Starbucks cups in the back seat of one of the company cars. Regina had no doubt it was some sweet concoction in that cup that would make Emma have a sugar crash later. No matter the sugar coma her daughter was sure to have, the image made Regina smile.

She needed time to catch up on her work load since the events of the weekend and Zee had offered to pick Emma up from school. By the looks of the picture they were out probably on their way to dinner and she wished she was with them instead of chained to her desk as she had been all day. Gold was in London complete with the red file contents she’d scanned to him at midnight last night and with him away Regina had been able to catch up on what she needed to, and just as she had—he sent more work for her to look over. At one point in her past Regina had considered herself a workaholic, but Gold took the cake on that title instead she decided. The man literally had no life other than making money or ordering people around to make it for him. Regina’s thoughts drifted once again to the picture of him with Ingrid from the file of them Ambrose had given Zee to share with her.

Regina found herself looking at it once in a while whenever she was pondering Emma’s path into her life. Those ice blue eyes were full of ghosts and the way Gold held onto Ingrid in that picture was almost… possessive. Mother seemed to know more about Gold’s history with Ingrid and from what she had been told he had adopted her after his brother’s sudden death. Mother had said Gold had given his niece the best of everything and that the girl had only been ungrateful. Regina doubted that Gold could give any child everything with as selfish as he was, but she wondered over that relationship and what it must have been like for Ingrid growing up with the man. Another notification flashed across her computer screen and with a sigh at her inbox, Regina texted a quick reply back to Zee and returned to her work.

If she stayed focused she could finish in the next few hours and be home in time to read to Emma and tuck her little duck into bed. But her mind, like most of the day, kept wandering. Thoughts of Emma’s near accident on Saturday and the vision of Kathryn on the curb afterwards drew on dark thoughts of _what ifs_ that had not left her mind since. More thoughts too of the mystery about the baby blanket and Kathryn’s role in Emma’s lineage. And the sweetness of the new affection from Emma had her floating on high at a whole other level. A wide range of mixed of emotions kept her mind occupied away from her work and Regina was struggling to keep moving.

Deciding then and there as another e-mail from Gold flashed across her screen to close her eyes and take a minute to breathe. Regina stopped fighting her mind and allowed it to drift to the memory she had kept pushing away all day…

 

 

_Regina threaded her fingers through tussled blonde locks of her wife’s hair. Combing the strands back from the shell of an ear, she gazed at fluttering eyelids as the morning light spilled through their bedroom window. On the morning after their fourth anniversary Regina thought she would be content forever to have this present moment on loop for the rest of her life. The way sunlight played with highlights in blonde hair, the deep content breathing of her wife and the feeling of their legs intertwined under the sheets; Regina loved how their life had come to start each morning. Kathryn sleeping by her side after their night of love making and day before celebrating their love with family and close friends. This moment was all she had wanted in the business of the last twenty four hours of their anniversary, now here. Her wife and life partner lay by her side. Each new day she got to wake to the other half of her soul in this bed._

_Regina smiled as Kathryn’s blue eyes opened to their first morning of four years as wife and wife. “Good morning Mrs. Mills.” She began with their yearly tradition of greeting between them on this day._

_White teeth flashed before Kathryn’s full lips claimed hers. Kathryn seemed to nearly lose her breath with it. “Mrs. Mills.” A sweet kiss hello in return. “I will never get tired of hearing you say that Regina.”_

_A deep husk of a laugh bubbled up between them and Regina took Kathryn into her arms as the little spoon. “Nor will I my love.” Her phone chimed behind her on the nightstand. Tone assigned to her sister, three more followed it indicating that Zee was awake and on a texting marathon, no doubt asking how their anniversary night played out. She rolled her eyes at the thought and suspected the woman in her arms felt her do so._

_“Sooooo,” Kathyrn began, “When should we tell your sister that we nearing our decision on kids?”_

_Another eye roll, though a fond one for the bluntness. “What brought that topic on before the decency of caffeine first?” Regina asked, though she was already guessing as she dipped her chin to breathe in the scent of cinnamon and vanilla of her wife’s hair._

_“She cornered me after dinner last night while your Mother had you cornered and began trying to guess if we would adopt or go with a donor. I told her we were still discussing it.”_

_Regina felt Kathryn shrug after that statement and she well knew the lift in that tone of something being thought on much more deeply than was said. She thought she might know what it was. While she had grown up with a close knit family, Kathryn had not. Spent the years as a teenager in the New York foster care system after the death of a mother to an over dose. Her wife was the epitome of strength and resourcefulness and all Kathryn had ever wanted was a family. Kids were definitely on both of their radar and until then Kathryn had taken Regina’s family as hers—dysfunctional as it was._

_Regina was grateful that Kathryn and her sister had bonded so quickly after their marriage while Mother, on the other end of the spectrum, was still learning to accept she was a lesbian and that this wasn’t a phase she was going through. And Daddy was, had been when he was alive, so accepting and kind to her wife from the first day she had introduced Kathyrn as the one. She knew this topic of children was one that they needed to discuss much more deeply than they already had. Both agreed they more than wanted them—one at least, but how was another matter they kept going back and forth on._

_“My sister has the worst timing and absolutely no filter.” Regina began as she kissed a crown of blonde curls. She could feel Kathryn’s smile to her answer and hoped her next words wouldn’t erase it. “We have talked about donors versus adopting before my love…” And there that smile began to slip as Kathryn came up on an elbow to gaze down at her._

_“And I know I’m torn.” Kathryn said matter of fact. “But you are not still.”_

_“Honestly?”_

_“Always.”_

_Regina searched blue eyes and gave it. “I still feel open about adoption, but I also want the whole experience of pregnancy.” The doctor’s visits, the anticipation, the cravings, the whole nine yards Regina Mills wanted for herself even if it was through the experience of another. She sat up too, bringing the silk sheet up with to cover her nakedness against the morning chill to sit against the head board._

_“Is that because you want to be the one to carry the baby, but can’t?” Kathryn asked rather delicately._

_Asked not to hurt, but to get to the root of why her feelings were as they were Regina knew this and nodded. She had learned this unfortunate truth years ago when she was a teenager going through puberty. “Yes, but I don’t want to be selfish in asking you to do that if you don’t’ truly want to experience pregnancy 110%. I’m open to the idea of a donor if you are…” She trailed off at the flash of some kind of yearning in those eyes she knew so well. “Kathryn what is it?” Reaching for her wife’s hand she took it, their wedding rings connecting with their intertwined fingers. Kathryn stared at their joined hands intently._

_“I wanted to go the donor route at one point a long time ago, but…”_

_“But what?”_

_Blonde curls shook and Kathryn seemed to force a smile. “I don’t think I can.”_

_Dark brows furrowed. “What do you mean?” Regina asked and again those eyes kept staring at their rings. Finally Regina lifted that dimpled chin to bring misting blue eyes up.”Kathryn please.”_

_“I mean….” Tone grew thick with what sounded like grief. “I can’t go through the donor thing. Or pregnancy. I want to adopt. With all the children already that need homes we should consider adopting instead of bringing another one into the world.” Tears leaked and Regina thought they held much more than Kathryn was able to say at the moment._

_And seeing them on those cheeks always got one reaction from Regina. “Hey, come here.” Pulling Kathryn close she tucked the smaller blonde right up into her heart. “Then we will go the adoption route.”_

_“But you—”_

_“Are flexible, especially because this is your body we are talking about. I would never ask you to do something you were even a fraction hesitant about my love.” Regina assured. While she suffered with something called fibroids and had a few surgeries in her youth to remove some larger ones that had left her womb unable to carry a baby, she would more than respect her wife’s right to chose no matter her own wishes. “And nothing needs to be decided soon. Let’s take the next few months and really research our options with adoption. We have more than enough money saved up to pursue a number of different options within that one should we choose.”_

_Kathyrn was quiet for a long moment and Regina bit her tongue over the why wishing she had phrased it differently. Money was sometimes a sensitive topic between them. She easily made thirty times what Kathryn did in a year and her wife was ever insistent on sharing their expenses. It had taken time and a lot of communication to get to a good place about their finances, but they developed a system that worked between them._

_Before their wedding, one Daddy insisted on paying for entirely, Kathryn had insisted on buying their rings. Regina had relented due to the pure sense of stubbornness Kathryn had exhibited about it. How though her wife had afforded such a ring that she wore was never something she had asked. Kathyrn had asked her not to worry about it and so she hadn’t._

_Thinking she may have more than put her foot in her mouth with the money comment Regina began to apologize. “I only meant…”_

_“No, its okay.” Kathryn assured with a kiss to her lips. “I know what you meant and your idea about researching our options sounds perfect. I’ve heard of some adopting couples being involved from the very beginning of a pregnancy for women looking to give their babies their best chance. Maybe that will be an option will be right for us.”_

_She couldn’t help the smile blooming across her face. “Maybe so.” Said with hope, Regina returned a kiss and many to Kathryn’s lips and cheeks and face until her wife was lost with laughter in her arms…_

 

 

As Regina’s mind returned to the present she fingered the place on her left hand where that ring had once rested, the bare skin still felt wrong. And slowly she was beginning to understand just what her wife may not been saying that day about the idea of being pregnant. Can’t or won’t were two very different words in her mind. And Kathyrn had said _can’t_ in regards to a donor. Regina was wondering if her late wife really meant can’t in regards to carrying a child in the physical sense or the emotional one. Perhaps it was both.

_‘Does it even matter Regina? Honestly?’_ Her wife’s voice echoed between her heavy thoughts. And Regina wondered honestly if it did or not.

She sat back in her chair as her eyes narrowed in reflection as some of the puzzle pieces began to shift into place. She had spent many a night thinking over her suspicion that Kathryn may have given up all her eggs over the course of a few secret donations to the clinic in Boston to get enough money to buy their rings before their wedding. Such a sacrifice and one Regina would have never asked her life partner to do.

But Kathryn had.

And the exactness of why had been driving her crazy with wonder. Why would Kathryn be a donor? If even for the money, if adoption was truly in her wife’s heart of hearts to pursue? Regina liked order and an answer for everything. She was finding herself obsessing on all the pieces of the puzzle of how Emma came to be in her life fit together. She knew her wife. Kathryn was never one to be motivated by money. There had to be an emotional connection for the choice to be made to donate her eggs in addition to just getting money for their rings. Logically there had to be an answer. _‘Didn’t there?’_

Regardless of that question, as a result she now had Emma.

The odds of them finding each other; the mere fraction of a fraction. Regina had a head for numbers and statistics. And the odds had not been in her favor to ever even meet Emma, but here they were on their journey as mother and daughter. A slow breath escaped Regina’s lips as tears welled. A life lost for a life gained. Had Kathyrn not passed and she spiral into a depression, Regina had no doubt she never would have met Emma through the DSS Christmas program her sister and Mother organized for her to partake in. Never mind the idea of adoption she and Kathyrn had been pursuing.

They had decided to go with an agency that specialized in matching unborn babies of young mothers with families. They had been set to have their first round of interviews with potential women a few days after the accident that had stolen Kathryn’s life. It was a small world, Regina realized and in her heartache over the loss of the love of her life, Kathryn had left her a gift in Emma; a precious piece of the soul essence that used to rest beside her each night.

In finally allowing these thoughts and emotions to truly manifest inside her, Regina suddenly felt the magnitude of that gift lift her heart into her throat. Her tears fell as she struggled to catch her breath around it. Hand going over her mouth as the other crossed her stomach. For the first time she let these feelings really register. All of them and they overwhelmed her entirely. Suddenly _how_ she and Emma had ended up together didn’t matter. Simply that that _were_ together, for lack of a better word, was a miracle. For her.

For Emma.

Then she who had never believed angels appearing out of no where or miracles of serendipity began to. Regina Mills began to believe in the impossible. For who had taught her the word impossible simply means _‘I’m possible,’_ Regina opened her eyes and rested them on the ebony frame sitting on her desk to the man within she had called Daddy. His soft comfort and dark eyes so much like her own mirrored back in the glass refelection.

Suddenly her phone ringing snapped her focus back to the present moment. She wiped her eyes and cleared her throat. Name flashing on the screen had her shoulders dropping and for who it was had Regina pressing the button on the speaker as she spoke automatically. “Hello Mother.”

A pause, then Cora’s voice cut into the quiet of the room. _“Regina, dear.”_

_‘Uh-oh.’_ Regina thought and felt her stomach begin to knot. Whenever that added affection was attached to her name that usually meant Mother was about to say something quite serious.

_“I have been thinking it has been far too long since we have spent any time together outside of the office and...”_

To Regina those words sounded almost forced, but something about the way her Mother hesitated at the end gave her pause. Never mind the fact that Mother was calling directly from the office next door. Some thirty feet separated them from opening the door and having this talk face to face, but that was not her Mother’s way.

_“Regina?”_

“I’m listening.” She affirmed as if that was the reason for the hesitation that was never usually present in her Mother’s tone. Cora’s voice sounded off and Regina was not sure over what. Her Mother was always one for poise and control and being anything but those two things raised a flag in her mind. But what kind of flag it was this time she was not sure.

  _“I would like to have both you and Emma over for dinner tomorrow night.”_

More hesitation spoke and it almost sounded like a question, but it was not. Regina sat up straighter with it finding the first excuse to go on. “It’s a school night. Emma’s bedtime is right around when you usually prefer to eat.” There was a reason she and Mother did not do such things. Especially with just the two of them without Zee as a buffer and her Mother was ever one stick to a schedule. One not altered for anyone or anything since before Regina could remember.

Cora rose at five, was at work by seven and never left until six PM. Dinner was always at eight and Regina remembered as a child being held to that time and all the stuffy rules that went with formal dining. Mother always insisted on coursed meals and dressing for dinner when they dined together, but the late hour and ritual of it only accommodated one member of their family. She and Zelena hadn’t known anything different at the time, but she had heard more than one argument between her parents as a child over Mother’s unwillingness to waver from such traditional practices.

Another long pause and Regina thought that was going to be the end of it, but her Mother’s next words made her brow furrow in question.

_“Then what time would be best for you both? I’ll… make accommodations.”_

“You’ll make accommodations.” Regina couldn’t help the bitterness in slipping into her tone. “Really?”

Tension in the form of a rebuke to her tone came over the line. _“Regina.”_ Then an almost fragile sigh of answer. _“Really.”_

Regina bit her bottom lip. They had tried to do casual dinners and some other things outside of work together non-business related and it always felt so forced to Regina. They usually ended up in a spat within the first twenty minutes and she was not keen on exposing Emma to that—or this orchestrated dining ritual from her childhood she more than detested.

_“Please Regina.”_

But that vulnerable tone, and from her Mother, pulled on her heart strings. She wanted her daughter to have a Grandmother—the kind that made cookies and was spontaneous, full of affection and knew how to have fun. Her Mother was not like that in the traditional sense, and while she didn’t expect her Mother’s personality to change, she couldn’t help wanting some things to change about their family dynamic for her daughter. Maybe this was her Mother’s way of trying to do just that.

Regina found her voice, but just barely. “Okay.”

_“Ok—ay?”_ The word was drawn out as if trying it on for the first time.

She nearly rolled her eyes at the way that casual word seemed to thrown her Mother off. Still Regina tried with a small smile coming to her lips and spoke more clearly. “Yes or ‘okay’ as your granddaughter would say. We’ll see you at six tomorrow.”

**:::::::::::::::::::::::**

Emma tugged at the collar of her blouse and sighed as she looked out the town car’s dark windows, blowing her bangs up off her forehead. New bangs she had gotten yesterday with her Aunt ZeeZee at the hair cut place after dinner out before Mama had come home. Mama had been surprised over her new haircut. Emma was not sure if it was in a good way or not because of the way the vein in Mama’s forehead had popped out and after a kiss hello she had been told to go get ready for bed while the adults talked.

The bangs tickled her forehead and she swiped them back as Mama’s hand came to rest on her knee in a warm comforting way she liked. It was Tuesday and they were on their way to dinner at Cora’s house. Emma had yet to see her since the other week when she had gotten her I-pod. She was looking forward to calling her Mama’s mama the new affection she had decided on. Emma was happy with her new family and wanted everyone to know it.

But she was not happy with having to dress up for dinner. Or what her Mama considered a com-pro-mise on clothes. She has been allowed to pick her shoes and hair style, Mama had picked out a pair of navy pants that were not jeans and a matching red and blue sailor style blouse that had a bow at the collar Emma kept tugging at. Mama had said that Cora always insisted on ‘ _dressing for dinner’_ and Emma agreed readily on that idea and wondered why people would want to eat naked in the first place. And said as much. That had made Mama laugh.

The shirt she had to wear was not one Emma really cared for. It was one she had gotten for Christmas from Cora that had been a few sizes too big on her at the time. She had shoved it to the back of her closet and forgotten about it, but Mama had not forgotten. Mama said it was polite to try things on people gave you at least once and let them see it.

Emma wasn’t sure she understood that idea. But grown-ups were weird, and she wanted to please so she wore the blouse. The only thing that made her outfit even tolerable was her red converse shoes and her French braid. Her fingers played with the end of it now and the bow on her blouse again making it come undone. Mama tisked and fussed over her shirt as the car rolled to a stop at a red light.

“Emma try not to mess with your shirt so much.” Regina gently corrected and retied the bow for the third time.

“Sorry Mama.”

“It’s alright, I know you do not particularly care for the shirt.”

“Then why’d I have to wear it?” Emma asked. “I know its polite cause Nona gave it to me, but...” She stuck her tongue out, glad to see her Mama’s smile back at her jest as her nose was tapped gently.

“My Mother has particular tastes and she wants to spend more time with us. She’s trying and so we need to try too.” Much more to it than that, but Regina hoped her explanation was enough and it seemed to be when Emma nodded.

“It’ll make her happy huh?”

“It will.”

“Then I guess wearing it one time is okay.”

Regina smiled over Emma’s exaggerated sigh and leaned over to kiss a cheek. “Thank you little duck.”

A few minutes later they pulled up to a tall sleek building. David opened the car door and they stepped out. Regina looked up and down the building with an internal sigh. Dark glass and cold marble entry way met their gaze and felt ominous to her. It had since childhood. The building’s interior had been remodeled since then, but the heavy feeling of it felt the same.

Emma scrunched her nose as she stood by her Mama’s side looking up. She had never been here before and she was excited to see where her Mama had grown up. She waved to Charming and tugged on the hand holding hers leading the way to the big doors an old man in a dark red and gold suit opened for them. He smiled at them too and Emma thought he had nice eyes.

“Well, well if it isn’t Regina Mills. How are you miss?”

Regina’s smile bloomed at seeing the doorman that had been tending the building since she could remember. “I am doing well. It’s good to see you Kelly.” He had always been kind to her and Zee. She remembered many a time coming and going as a child and teenager and he always had smile for them or a peppermint treat from his deep pockets.

His eyes wrinkled around twinkling eyes. “And who is this?”

Emma smiled up at him and stuck out her hand. He took it and she pumped his hand twice. “I’m Emma. Did you know my Mama when she was my age?”

Kelly chuckled with raised brows at Regina.

“I am in the process of adopting her.” She clarified for his question with a proud look down at Emma.

His voice cracked in good humor as he answered the child. “I did and I bet…” He reached into his pocket and removed two cellophane wrapped soft peppermint candies as Emma’s eyes grew wide with delight. “That like your Mama, you might fancy one of these.” Kelly handed over the treats, one for each of them.

“Thank you mister!” Emma looked up at her Mama and getting a nod, unwrapped her treat and popped it in her mouth.

“You are very welcome.” Kelly gestured to the elevators. “Mrs. Mills mentioned you would be joining her this evening. She doesn’t usually entertain much these days and between you and me she could use the company.”

Regina nodded slowly taking that fact in. While her Mother had been married to her Father the woman had also been married to the job. For the first time Regina pondered the possibility of her Mother being lonely since her Father’s death. Cora had made arrangements for the funeral, attended and had been right back to work the next day. Regina had never understood and had even resented her Mother’s seemingly lack of care over the loss that still pinched her heart whenever she thought about it.

She thanked Kelly and moved them forward across the vast lobby. Her navy Louboutin heels she had paired with a matching sleeveless pencil dress echoed as they approached the elevator. She had contemplated wearing pants and much preferred them, but Mother was sure to comment and she didn’t want to deal with it. Emma being in pants and not a skirt or a dress for dinner would be just about within her Mother’s tolerance level.

“Mama, can I press the button?”

“Of course you may little duck.” Regina paused as Emma hopped up to do just that and gold double doors opened and were waiting to swallow them up. Her stomach cramped, but she moved into the space and gave Emma a key to fit into the number thirty slot on the gold paneling. Mother owned the entire top floor and the one beneath it which was cleaned regularly but never used other than for extended guests. Cora hated the idea of neighbors too close. As Emma turned the key the doors closed and Regina took the key back to tuck into her clutch and she prompted. “Do you remember what we talked about for dinner tonight?” Hating that she had to even bring it up, but Mother was particular and she found the part of her engrained as a child to please her Mother wanting this evening to go well.

“Uh-huh. I need to use all my bestest manners and try some of everything to eat and use my napkin and not my sleeve and if I don’t know what fork to use to look at you and you’ll help me.” Emma regurgitated the details from their talk after school. “Does she really have her own chief?”

“Chef.” Correcting with a nod. “She does. Granny has been with my family since before I can remember.” She smiled fondly over the memory and was looking forward to seeing the woman once again. Like Kelly, the Italian born woman had been a bright spot in her childhood and who had taught Regina her cooking skills.

“Why does Nona have so many rules for eating?”

The answer Regina wanted to give was not appropriate for little ears and she bit her tongue over the second one that came to mind too. A breath later she replied. “She was raised in a very traditional home where there were a lot of rules to follow. They stuck with her and she prefers things to be formal.”

Emma’s brow scrunched up in thought. “Did you have to follow a lot of rules too when you were little?”

Regina smile grew pained, but she hid it well and absentmindedly straightened the collar on Emma’s shirt once more. “I did. My mother was very strict with Zee and I. She wanted us to behave and present ourselves in a certain way.” Frowning at the idea and then needing something lighter she gave Emma’s hand a squeeze. “And I know just what you are thinking.” Emma’s sly grin beamed up. She cupped a chin and ran her thumb across a dimpled cheek. “The rules we have between us are nothing compared to the ones I was raised with little duck.” Teasing as she tapped a nose.

“I’m lucky then.”

“Oh?” Regina asked as the elevator began slowing. She automatically straightened her spine and lifted her chin in preparedness.

“Yeah ‘cause you don’t make me be something I’m not.”

And the doors opened into a private entry hall right along with Regina’s mouth at that statement and suddenly she was more than sorry about insisting on the blouse. Too late though as her Mother opened the door at the end of the hall. Those hard blue eyes softened just so at the edges in a way Regina wished they had done for her as a child when Mother saw Emma.

Emma started to run toward Cora, but slowed to a walk as she remembered the talk on manners. She was taken in arms for a hug and each of her cheeks, or the air right by them, was kissed as Cora always did when greeting her. “Hi Nona.”

Regina could have sworn her Mother’s face lost ten years of rigidity at that affection from Emma. Blue eyes met hers with a tender question and she nodded once affirming she had heard correctly.

“Oh my _darling_ girl. Hello.” Cora rose back up to her full height and regarded her daughter. “Hello Regina.”

Stiffly Regina accepted the formal kiss greeting and mimicked it in return. “Mother.” Stepping back, she rested her hands on Emma’s shoulders as she waited for her Mother’s lead.

“Dinner is nearly ready.” Cora explained and turned to walk into the foyer. “I do hope you like salmon Emma.”

Emma’s face wrinkled. She gave a pained look up and whispered. _“Mama?”_ She hated fish with a passion and it made her tummy sick whenever she’d been forced to eat it in other foster homes. She got a meaningful look and kept quiet. Her shoulders were guided forward as they followed Cora into the living room.

“Actually Mother, Emma doesn’t eat fish.” Regina began to explain and inwardly cringed when those sharp eyes were on her again. That look made her feel ten years old. “I apologize. I should have told you.”

“Yes, that would have been preferred.” Cora said and sighed. “Still I could have asked on my end too, I suppose.”

Regina’s chin tilted. Mother admitting fault to anything simply did not happen. Maybe this was part of what Mother meant by trying. She could feel Emma relax under her hands at the idea of not having to eat Nemo’s friends.

“You two have a seat and I will go ask to see if Eugenia will have some grilled chicken available as well. Will that be sufficient?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Wine Regina and perhaps milk for Emma?”

Emma watched the adults and heard another yes leave Mama’s mouth. Once Nona left Emma turned to look right up while hugging her Mama’s waist. “You saved me Mama and who is that lady Nona said?”

Regina smoothed Emma’s bangs back from her face. “Eugenia is Granny’s name.”

“Why doesn’t she call her Granny like you and why did Nona have to ask for chicken? I thought this was her house.”

Her daughter missed nothing and Regina chuckled over the fact. “While this is your Nona’s house, the kitchen has always been Granny’s. That’s the one area where your Nona will follow someone else’s directions.” That and the fact that Mother hated getting her hands dirty, but loved to enjoy the efforts of another’s skill in the kitchen along with a having a hard palette to please. Regina went to sit in one of the winged chairs by the fireplace as she watched Emma take in the room, wondering of the thoughts in Emma’s head now that those questions had been answered.

A large white throw rug sat in the middle of the room over black marble floors. Gold end tables capped each end of the couch with crystal lamps and a family portrait hung on one wall in an elaborate frame bigger than Emma was tall. One that had been taken when Regina had been in primary school. Cora sat regal in a chair with her Father standing just behind. Regina and Zelena stood on either side while Cora reigned front and center with straight mouth. Zee had a smile and her Father a soft hint of one, his hands wrapped around their shoulders while Mother’s were clasped primly in a lap. Regina’s eyes lingered over the child she once was and the forced smile her mouth sported in that picture.

 She remembered the reason clearly as the moment flashed in her mind. The photographer had suggested that Regina, being the smaller of the two children, sit on her Mother’s knee. Cora had firmly put down his suggestion stating Regina much too old for such a thing never mind wrinkling the silk designer suit Mother was wearing. Regina remembered that cool tone and the hurt she felt over it.

She had been six.

And with this thought she forced her eyes away and back to Emma. A wall of floor to ceiling windows ran the length across from them and Emma was drawn like a moth to a flame to the glass to look out at the city lights. Little one kept hands clasped behind a back with wiggling fingers playing with the hem of a shirt. Regina could tell Emma was tempted to press up against the windows for a better look and was proud of her little duck for such efforts in restraint.

Though, the look of horror she imagined on her Mother’s face at having hand prints all over the pristine glass made her smile. After a minute green eyes darted about the room and on the grand piano in the corner. Emma went right to it and couldn’t resist tapping the keys, though fingers did so gently. Little eyes settled on the family portrait for a long time. Then Emma came rushing back over as the rest of the room was given a once over.

“The piano is cool, but there’s no TV… That’s just wrong Mama.” Ever opinionated Emma had no hesitation in sharing her thoughts.

“There is one in the entertainment room down the hall.” Regina explained with a chuckle as Emma crawled up to sit in her lap. She gladly accepted the affection, loving when Emma did so. “This is the formal living room and typically there is just seating and decorations in those.”

Emma thought that was boring but didn’t say so as her Nona came back into the room. Blue eyes swept over them and Emma wondered why they seemed so far away. So she thought she’d try to bring them back closer to right now. “I like all your windows Nona.”

Cora blinked and the corners of her mouth turned up. “Thank you Emma. The view is rather magnificent isn’t it?”

“It’s pretty.” Emma agreed thinking that’s maybe what that big word meant, and her tummy grumbled. “Is it time to eat yet?”

Another blink of blue eyes at the blunt question. “Soon Emma. Why don’t you go down the hall there to the powder room and get ready while Regina and I talk for a moment.”

“Powder what?” Emma asked, but Mama was lifting her up to stand.

“She means to go wash your hands in the bathroom little duck.” Explaining for her Mother and pointing down the far hallway. “It is the third door down that way.”

“Okay.” Emma wondered why Nona hadn’t just said so, but shrugged and ran off to do just that as her shoes squeaked across marble. She paused looking down at her feet while deciding she liked the noise and tried to make her shoes talk the whole way to the bathroom. Then Emma played hopscotch on tile squares all down the hall.

Regina grinned at the happy squeaking noise and then frowned when her Mother’s tongue clicked in a way she well understood was disapproving. Feeling protective over her daughter she met that disapproval head on. “I know what you are going to say.”

“Do you?” Cora asked and crossed her feet at the ankle.

“Go on. Get it out of your system before she comes back.” Direct and the sigh from that mouth had said Regina was right in her thoughts.

“I still think attending Trinity would do her well. They have etiquette classes for children her age and Emma needs some polishing if she is to truly feel she belongs in our social circle.”

“ _Your_ circle you mean.” Regina countered. It was one she had well fought being a part of tooth and nail growing up.

“No that is not what I mean. I only want her to be accepted and have her best chance at success in life Regina. Honestly you are making me out to sound like a prude. You know how the world, our world, works. With wealth and privilege come expectations and responsibility. I only want Emma to feel like she belongs.” Cora assured. She had seen enough of the heartache Regina had gone through by constantly challenging those same expectations.

Shaking her head, Regina tried to keep her tone civil. “She does belong and Emma is exactly fine the way she is. I do not want that life for her.” The social life and country club parties filled with shallowness and fake smiles backed by a ruthless game of one-uping the women in these so called ‘circles’ partook in she did not want for her daughter. Had not wanted for herself, but had been forced to play the part of perfect dutiful daughter in the lifestyle her Mother placed such value on.

“You well know the hardship that comes from certain choices Regina and while _that_ is your prerogative, I do not want my grandchild to experience that alienation because she doesn’t fit in.”

Regina bristled automatically assuming the understated insinuation was about her sexuality and then she remembered Mother’s comment about Daddy from a few weeks ago. “She will not because I do not plan on exposing her to shallow people who care more about if they have the fashion accessory on the latest cover of Vogue than they do about being kind to everyone. I want her to be silly, play in the mud and run around the house in her PJs all day if that makes her happy. And if that makes me like Daddy then good.”

Cora pursed her lips. “When I said that I did not mean it how you took it. I only meant that he had a softness about him that only made living the life we do more difficult than it needs to be.”

“It didn’t need to be difficult Mother.” Regina lost herself to complete honesty in the moment. “You chose to make it that way by cutting him down at every turn and never giving Zee and I room to breathe.”

“I gave you girls everything.” Cora nearly hissed, leaning forward in all seriousness. “And I will not tolerate such disrespect in my home from my own daughter, no less.”

“I’m sorry if what I said hurt your feelings.” Trying for patience Regina took a deep breath to try and explain. “I only meant—” But Mother was not letting her and she inwardly cringed as the ever ready guilt trip in her Mother’s arsenal was laid on thick.

“How do you think the equestrian lessons you loved so much, your top of the line education, your beautiful clothes and traveling was paid for? Your Ivy League degree and all the experiences you had the privilege of having did not grow on trees Regina.”

“Mother I’m grateful for those things. Truly and I respect how hard you work. That’s not what I mean.” They kept missing each other’s intent and had for nearly the whole of her life. It was as if they were speaking two different languages with a faulty lag in translation—and it was exhausting. Regina tried to keep her tone pacifying but it only seemed to increase the heat between them. Then trying one more time as her eyes began to sting from the scolding. Always it made her feel so small, like a kid again in Mother’s disgrace. “I just—”

“Robert was right.” Cora muttered and took a sip of wine.

“Pardon?” But Regina had heard every burning word. “What’s he got to do with anything?” And she got a long hard look before Mother answered.

“This business and you raising Emma is too much for you. Your emotions are getting the better of your good sense.”

“My good sense?” At the audacity Regina shook her head. “Gold is a snake who is looking for any way to come between us and the business. Taking him on as a partner was a big mistake.”

“I am beginning to think taking on one of my partners was a mistake indeed.”

“So we are back to throwing insults about my abilities again.” Regina felt her face redden. “This is exactly why I don’t tell you anything personal about what is going on in my life because you always turn it into something that it is not. Just like when I was a child. You weren’t there for me then and you are not here for me now.”

 “You wanted for nothing.” Hard and quiet in certainty Cora all but slammed her wine glass down on the table between them. “I made sure of that.”

That cool tone so familiar cut Regina’s heart wide open and the little girl within it spoke. “I wanted my Mother. Just a little of your time and affection.” She met blue eyes after a thick moment of silence. What she expected her Mother to say she was not sure, but something had to be better than the nothing she was on the end of. She expected something other than silence and she could tell by Mother’s eyes a lot wanted to be said. Maybe even something rarely kind and tender for the pain she was in. This raw fullness between them was gutting them both. But that straight mouth did not move. And feeling more than vulnerable Regina closed back up immediately. “This is why we don’t do this.” Arms out gesturing between them. “This was a mistake.” Little squeaky shoes returned and Regina stood as Emma came right up by her side with a question in green eyes over the quiet room. “Say good bye to Nona, Emma.”

“Why?” Emma wondered aloud, but went over to give the woman looking at her Mama in a strange way a hug.

 “Mama isn’t feeling well so we are going to go home.” Truth as her stomach felt permanently knotted. “Mother I’ll see you at the office tomorrow.”

“Regina must you be so dramatic—”

“Don’t.” Her hand went up as Emma took up her other one. “We’ll talk another time.” With her daughter in tow Regina made a beeline for the door. She closed it louder than she meant to behind them as Emma slipped her hand to run along ahead to press the button for the elevator. _‘How could I have been so foolish as to think things could possible change?’_ Regina shook her head at her own stupid hope. The sharp ding and gold doors opening made her breath return and she stepped into the elevator with Emma right at her side. _‘She is incapable of seeing my side of things. Why did I agree to this? I should know better than to expect her affection. Why did I even think for one moment she could—’_

“Mama?”

That concerned tone broke up Regina’s racing thoughts. “Yes sweetheart.”

“Why are you crying?”

Regina blinked and finally felt the tears on her cheeks for the first time. She wiped at them and bent to pick up Emma to her hip trying to come up with an acceptable answer but came up short. So she said nothing and rested her lips against Emma’s temple. The gold doors opened and she stepped out in pause.

“Mama?”

“Hmm?”

“Is it your tummy?” Emma asked as she rested her head against a shoulder.

“In part.” Regina murmured as Kelly approached with a question in his eyes. She smiled tightly and shook her head.

And he gave her the same soft understanding eyes she remembered from him long ago whenever she had left home after a spat with Mother. “Shall I call your driver for you Miss?”

Regina managed another nod and held Emma closer.

“What’s the other part Mama?”

Sighing and knowing her daughter’s questioning would not cease until she gave a proper answer Regina moved to sit on one of the stone benches in the lobby with Emma sideways on her lap.

“My feelings are hurt.” And as blonde brows joined in confusion Regina clarified. “Nona and I had a little disagreement and it upset me.”

Teeth nibbled on a bottom pink lip. “Was it about me?” Emma asked. Sometimes adults fought over kids and in Emma’s experience many had fought over stuff she had done.

“No little duck.” It truly hadn’t been for the root of what the upset was. “I was upset with a few things Nona said, but her and I will talk and work it out.”

“Why don’t you talk now?”

“Because sometimes adults need some time away to think if we disagree before we try again to make things right.”

Emma brightened thinking she understood. “Like a timeout?”

A soft laugh for a comparison so true. “Yes, like a time out for grown-ups.”

Thinking some more, Emma began to play with the snap on her Mama’s clutch. “I was wondering somethin’ else.”

“And what’s that little duck?”

“The picture in the living room of you and Aunt ZeeZee... How come she was smiling and you weren’t?”

“I was though.”

Blonde curls shook adamantly. “Not like her.”

A sigh. “I was upset with my Mother before that picture was taken.”

“You are upset with Nona a lot huh?”

Put so plainly gave Regina pause and she nodded. “We are very different people.”

That confused Emma. “But she’s your Mom. Shouldn’t you agree more ‘cause she is?”

“It’s not that simple Emma, but disagree or agree we are family. All of us.” She didn’t want Emma to think that changed anything. As frustrating as Mother could be at times Regina would do everything she could to smooth things over. Emma deserved all the family Regina could give her and as long as Mother did not force that lifestyle on her daughter she was more than willing to set aside her past hurt. She just needed some time to figure out how. “Your Nona and I will work this out.” Emma’s tummy growling suddenly made her guilt return. It was well past the time they usually ate and she changed the subject to such. “What would you like for dinner when we get home?”

“Grilled cheese please, but I wanna change into my PJs first.” A grin showed the space in Emma’s bottom teeth. That sounded way better than fancy chicken and fancy manners and too many rules and utensils and the blouse she was wearing.

Then Kelly waved them over and Regina stood more than ready to go home to cook a meal and eat finger food in the living room wearing PJs as they watched TV with her daughter. David pulled up to the curb just as they exited and Regina got Emma settled in the car seat. The drive home was quiet for Emma had fallen asleep within a few minutes as darkness took over the horizon. When they were nearly home Regina’s phone chimed with Zee’s tone. She set it to vibrate least the noise wake Emma before she swiped to open the screen, eyes rolling over the text.

**Zelena:** How’s it going with Miss Manners? Figured you’d find an excuse to step out between courses and I’d have a chance to catch you.

Regina’s brows knitted as she typed quickly: _Mother called you already?_

**Zelena:** Called? No why?? Please tell me you didn’t blow it?!?!

Regina: _Blow what?_

**Zelena:** The dinner. She was hesitant, but I insisted she should reach out to you and start to mend things. You know how hard that is for her GiGi.

Regina: _You set this up. Without telling me? Seriously, Zee._

**Zelena:** She agreed to be on her best behavior and to try and not be so _her_ about the things she knows that drives you bonkers.

Regina: _Well then we both failed miserably._

**Zelena:** Fuck. That bad?

Regina winced as her thumbs flew over the screen: _She brought up Trinity school again and had the nerve to say, in so many words, that she understood just how hard being different was for me with my choice to be gay growing up._

**Zelena:** Ouch. She has steel balls to come at you with Trinity again. Kind of like my favorite sister does when she believes in something with all her heart.

Regina let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding at the comparison as the icon dots flashed on her I-phone waiting for her sister’s next text. She couldn’t respond to that right now, true as it was.

**Zelena:** She means well, in her old fashioned demented way, you know.

Sighing deeply Regina finally responded: _Her way of meaning well is wanting Emma to change and I refuse to allow her to push her views of high society on my daughter._

**Zelena:** And how can Mother learn to adjust her views to consider yours if you won’t tell her exactly what that did to you as a child?

Regina pulled the screen back and back went her head against the headrest. Zee had been asking her that hard question for years and for years she had pushed off the hard conversation she and Mother needed to have.

She knew what she had to do, but actually doing it was another thing entirely. A little murmur from the seat next to her made her eyes move away from the ceiling of the car. Emma was tucked up sweetly dozing as eyes moved under closed lids back and forth. Regina reached to smooth the bangs she was still getting used to, but finding she liked very much back from Emma’s eyes. Little one leaned into her touch as her phone chimed again. Eyes misting she picked it up and read.

**Zelena:** I’m sorry for butting in. I thought I was helping.

Thumbs moved slowly as Regina’s thoughts were weighing heavy on the way she had stormed out on Mother: _I know and I understand why you did it. I’m not mad at you. I’m upset with Mother._

**Zelena:** You’re always upset with Mother. Even so, people can’t fix what they don’t know or understand GiGi. Think about it. Kiss Emma for me and I’ll grill you more tomorrow. XOX

Regina watched the screen go black as she thought more on her sister’s words and her Mother’s. What had been said and unsaid between them that night. Then she settled the words she had wanted to say to her Mother for far too long. Had started to say tonight before it became too hard. Then Emma had reminded her of why she had agreed to dinner in the first place and her temper had ruined the evening.

Regina decided to try and apologize again tomorrow for storming out and ask for a chance to really talk, just the two of them on neutral turf away from the past pressing in. Her daughter’s happiness was worth more than her current effort’s today. And as much as she hated to admit it Zee was right. This ongoing battle with Mother was not one sided and it was not going to be fixed overnight. But she was willing to try again to connect with her Mother.

Another text made her phone buzz and she picked it up once more wondering what Zee had forgotten to tell her, but the words on the screen made her blood freeze:

**Gold:** I received some rather interesting news a few days ago about a long lost family member I didn’t know I had. To my surprise she is currently in your care. After much thought I have made a decision I think is in the best interest of the child given our current situation.

Painstakingly Regina typed as her throat worked to open for air.

**Regina:** _And what is that?_

The dots flashed for far too long on her phone screen as Regina waited on edge.

**Gold:** You’ll know soon enough, dearie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - I know, I know sorry for the cliff hanger…But I wanted to give you an extra long chapter this week instead of breaking it in half. More on that text in chapter 9 which will be on posted on August 31st. I got sick this last week and also work is still nuts. See you in a few weeks.
> 
> Next time: Gold’s intention is made clear. Emma gets in a scuffle and learns some advice from her auntie. Regina realizes something about her Mother.


	9. Roots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N – First, thanks to most of you for being patient on posts. Like I said before in my last few A/Ns life got reaalllly busy. I was sick and my spouse is still very ill. That coupled with work being insane has not left me on my usual trajectory for posting/editing.
> 
> As for Gold – I know he bugs you. He bugs me too. He is a villain in this and not intended to win. That being said he is also not done rearing his ugly head yet. Tides will turn after chapter 13…. Regina and Emma being together as a family is endgame for this fic.

**Chapter 9 - Roots**

**::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::**

On Wednesday Gold did not come into the office. Nor was he to be in on Thursday. Regina had found out that he had delayed his return from London and was due back on Friday. Regina normally worked from home that day, but was thinking on going in and confronting him face to face. She'd thought about telling Zee of his cryptic text, but her sister had enough to deal with at present and until Gold made an official move on paper through the courts, if at all, there was nothing anyone could do anyway. Nothing but wait.

She was not about to drag her sister into that waiting game too. So Regina kept it to herself. Her plan to reach out to her Mother to reconcile had not gone as expected. Cora's schedule had no free appointments until next week according to the office date book. She had tried knocking on their shared door only to find it locked. Calling too, but it went to voicemail. So close next door and yet so far Regina thought that this was her Mother's way of making her think; ignoring her when feelings had been hurt now as she had been as a child when she'd spoken out against her Mother's wishes.

Regina gave up after that and decided to try again next week after Mother had some time to cool down. She was left with nothing to do but wait. Wait for Mother. Wait to see if Gold made a move and for Zee to find answers from the ghost writings in her wife's in journal's.

And Regina Mills hated waiting.

Like she was waiting now for the dreaded weekly visit for Emma to Dr. Hopper's office to be over. Little one had been in a good mood going in and she hoped that lasted through the session, but her hoped died hard when the door opened across the waiting room and Emma sulked out. Little arms crossed tight, bottom lip out like a shelf and eyes on the floor. Regina shot two dark questions under a furrowed brow to Archie who at the very least had the good sense to look apologetic.

Emma came at her then and Regina opened her arms to catch the girl now teary clinging to her neck. Regina stood with Emma on her hip and raised a brow at the good doctor. He shook his head and she understood he could tell her nothing of today's session. Nothing about why her baby was quietly crying into her shoulder. On paper she was nothing but the foster parent. Legally his hands were tied. Regina cursed the ever present red tape that even made her be in this office with Emma. Still some part of her trusted Archie and the need he said Emma had for being here.

Regina sighed. It wasn't his fault. She kissed Emma's cheek and rubbed the girl's back after she signed them out at the counter. Emma was calming in her arms and seemed to more when they left the building. David was there waiting with the back door of the town car open and ready with a concerned look on his face. Regina nodded at him once in acknowledgement, but didn't speak. He seemed to understand her need for quiet, but he tried to coax a smile out of Emma anyway.

"Your chariot awaits princess." He grinned softly as Emma peeked up at him from hiding in dark curls. "If it's alright with your Mama," he pulled his phone out of his pocket, "I think Jasmine is home with Mary-Margaret and could FaceTime for a few minutes?"

Regina smiled and rubbed Emma's back. "Would you like to talk with Jasmine on the way home little duck?" A ready nod and Emma reached for his phone once David had it connected. She buckled Emma into the car seat as the two children chatted. Her daughter was still more subdued than usual, but more animated than before. She leaned forward and tapped once on the glass separating the two sides of the car. It rolled down and he looked at her in the rearview mirror with a question in his eyes.

"Thank you." Regina nodded to Emma who was lost in a conversation about who was the 'bestest Disney villain ever, ever'. Apparently it was a toss up between Malificent and Emma's push for the Evil Queen. "I know I don't usually say so or much of anything to you David…" Regina cleared her throat. She wasn't good at apologies and she had been less than warm to her driver before Emma came into her life. "But I appreciate how kind you are to Emma."

His eyes softened and he smiled with a nod. "She makes it easy and if I may say so Regina, she's good for you and you're good for her too."

Regina sat back as the glass rolled back up, watching Emma talk. Ever since Gold's text she had been on the edge between panic and worry over the possibility of losing Emma. So far everything on her end according Emma's social worker was top notch for the adoption to go through and with the Judge's ruling on her consent petition she hoped that and the last five months caring for Emma would be enough if Gold decided to cause problems.

'What could he possibly want with a little girl?' Regina thought. He had no family, worked more than her Mother did and was completely selfish in everything he did. He ate, slept and breathed money and deals. She never understood what her Mother saw in him as a business partner and or even a—Regina grimaced—a past lover. Regina used to think those two had some kind of history there before her father had been in the picture when she was at the worst odds with her Mother in college. But now she was not so sure that ever was the case. They were too different in everything else but pursuit of wealth and status. That and Mother had better taste.

No, Gold couldn't possibly want to take Emma Regina reassured herself. It made no sense. He was a lot of talk and liked to cause a stir and he had succeeded in causing a stir in her. Regina felt sick over the fact that he could get such a rise out of her. It was time to let it go and focus on keeping the path she was on. Soon she would answer to no one about Emma other than herself and she was more than ready for that day in court when that happened.

She let her thoughts dwell in the dark only until the car stopped in front of the brownstone. Emma had finished with Jasmine and the dark little mood came right back to that face. As Emma trailed her heels into the house and she sorted her things by the front door Regina began to gently coax, "would you like to talk about what has you so upset?" Technically she wasn't supposed to ask Emma about therapy sessions, but rules be damned when her child was in tears.

Curls shook and a lower lip stuck out more, but Emma's words said otherwise. "Don't matter."

Regina disagreed, but did not say so as she knelt down to be eye level. She tapped a nose gently to get Emma's eyes up. "There's my little duck. Sometimes talking about what has us upset helps make us feel better."

"That's what Dr. Hopper says too." Emma sniffled as her eyes grew heavy. "But talking only makes me think about stuff I don't wanna to remember." Then green pools overflowed as her words blurred. "I don't wanna 'member Mama."

"Sweetheart…"

Then the doorbell rang. And for the late hour and darkness approaching that only further had Emma lost in upset. The child launched at Regina. She picked Emma up once again, child clinging to her hip and crying in her ear as she began to soothe. Regina ignored the bell hoping whomever it was would go away. It rang again a minute later and she rolled her eyes at the idiot on the other side. Emma's cries went up a notch as it rang a third time and wanting the triggering noise to stop Regina threw open the door with a raging look on her face for the person on her stoop. A bearded man stood there at the base of the steps.

Regina summoned what patience she had left as she rubbed Emma's back. "Yes?"

"Are you Regina Mills?"

"I am." She took a step closer as Emma's cries began to die down under the motion. "What are you…" He thrust a manila envelope into her hand.

"You have been served. Have a good day."

As he walked away Regina's jaw dropped as dread began to eat at her stomach. She backed into her home and shut the door, locking and leaning against it as Emma quieted further in her arms. She set the envelope aside on the hutch and the child to sit next to it. Reaching into her purse she pulled out a few tissues and began to clean Emma's face free of tears.

"What's he mean you're served Mama?" Distracted for the moment from her upset, Emma asked.

Red lips tightened into a hard line, but Regina forced suppleness into her tone through them. "That's for me to work out little duck." Regina smoothed bangs off of Emma's forehead and gave a kiss there. Then lifted a dipping chin. "Now I know you're upset from your session and if you are not ready to talk to Mama about it yet, that is okay." She knew eventually at some point tonight or tomorrow Emma would come out with it given time and right now it was time for something else. "It is nearly time for dinner. Do you want to pick a menu or do you want me to pick?" They always had take out on Thursday's. Ever since that first time they had shared Chinese food Emma's first night at home. Ordering in never failed to brighten her girl's spirits.

"Me Mama. I get to pick, okay?" Emma rubbed her eye as she was lifted down from the hutch to stand.

"Alight go pick and I'll be right there in a few minutes to order for us."

Sending Emma off with a gentle pat before she turned back to stare at the offending envelope Regina made sure little one was digging through the menu drawer before she opened the top flap. With a deep breath she slipped the papers out of the envelope and skimmed. Her heart sank as she did against the wall. Lips rolled in as she read and closed her eyes to find her center. A quick breath and then two to keep her tears firmly locked away least Emma wander in and see. No longer able to keep this to herself, Regina reached for her phone and called the one person she knew would always answer. Her sister picked up on the second ring.

"Gigi you know I love you, but I am about to be swept off my feet to a lovely shagging with Ambrose so—"

"Zee." Regina could barely speak.

Zelena paused at the cracking tone on the other line. "What's wrong?"

"He…"

"Shit." Something dropped in the background.

Regina tried to find her voice again. "Gold's suing for custody of Emma."

"Fucking wanker."

Regina heard scuffling on the other line after that remark and a male voice asking something before Zee replied: "Not you Ambrose." She shook her head and hugged her middle with her free hand, pushing the nausea rising in her throat down. "Zee, what do we do now?"

A sigh, but serious and certain words filled Regina's ear and heart. "What Mills women always do. We fight like hell for our own."

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

Emma's shoes swung back and forth above the school hallway linoleum. She sat on the bench inside the school office with her bottom lip firmly tucked in her mouth as she waited for her Mama. She had not meant to be, but she was in trouble in the worst way. At least it felt like that. Little fingers picked at the hem of her shorts as she heard the main door open. Emma kept her eyes on the toes of her shoes as the sound of heels neared. Then her nose wrinkled when they stopped within her vision. They were green. Mama was wearing red ones this morning. She looked up.

"Aunt ZeeZee?"

"Your one and only Monkey." Zelena tilted her head at that little frown, leaning down to be closer.

"Where's Mama?"

"She's wrapping up a board meeting with the cranky crocodile and your Nona. She will be joining us at the brown stone in a bit." Zelena paused when Emma's eyes darkened. "For right now though why don't you tell me what's going on. Looks like you're in a wee bit of a tight spot, eh?"

Emma shrugged one shoulder as the secretary greeted her aunt. She watched as the adults talked for a minute before the principal came out and relayed the events of a recess Emma wished she could forget. Well, some of the events anyway. What the teacher on duty had seen. Only she and the other mean boy knew what had been said before a whistle had gone off and Emma had been pulled up and away from Neal.

She watched as ZeeZee signed her out and stood up adjusting her backpack as a hand was stuck out. Emma was now something called sus-spend-ed and thought being such was just fine with her if it meant getting out of here away from Neal. The look her aunt was giving her said maybe it wasn't such a good thing after all though. Once they were outside and walking Emma wondered aloud, "where's the car?" Her aunt's thumb traced the knuckles on her hand and gave hers a little squeeze. Emma liked when ZeeZee did that. Like her Mama did too and even Nona sometimes. The sameness reminded her that they were all a family now.

"I thought you might do well with some fresh air. And that maybe we could talk about what happened."

"Don't wanna talk about it."

"It might help you feel better Emma."

"It won't." Emma was sure about that. "Cause it won't make what he said go away." She kicked a rock as they rounded the corner and stopped for the crosswalk light.

"Neal?"

Emma nodded. "He's mean."

"Is that why you were making him eat dirt in the school yard?" There was a hint of pride in her voice Zelena couldn't help but allow out at the idea of Emma standing up for something she believed in, but this thing is what she needed to talk her niece through.

Little eyes looked up and then away as one shoulder shrugged. Emma's hand was squeezed again and they started walking once more. "Will Mama be mad?"

"I think she is more worried about you than she will be mad about anything Monkey."

Emma mulled that over, somewhat pacified. "What's spended mean?"

"Suspended means that you are not allowed at school for a little while because of the fight. Kind of like a long timeout."

"Have you ever been suspended?"

Zelena gave a hearty chuckle. "No love. My Mother would have not have allowed me to see the light of day again. I did get in my fair share of scuffles in the school yard, but mostly with my words."

So it was a big deal it seemed. Emma didn't think her Mama would like that she had been in a fight. Emma bit her lip, suddenly more than done 'not talking about it'. She was quiet the rest of the walk even though a few more questions came her way. As they came up upon home her feet began to feel heavy as her tummy was tight. Emma had never been in trouble at school before or even real, real trouble like she was in now. Well except for when she took the perfume at the store as a present for Mama that one time. But even that had not been bad like she had been today. Today she had been mean back to someone who had been mean to her. That was a yucky feeling Emma didn't know what to do with.

Once they were inside she kicked off her shoes and put her backpack down. She was about to go find Lucky Swan and hide under her covers for a while, but her aunt knew her too well.

"Don't you want your snack? Your Mama made those raisin buggy sticks you like."

Emma hesitated. She never turned down snacks. Wanted the ants on a log snack she saw Mama making this morning and that her Aunt liked to tease her about. But with her snack her aunt would try and get her to talk more. She was good at that when Emma did not even realize it was happening. Talking made the hard feelings inside real. Emma was tired of real. Her tummy turned and so she shook her head going for the stairs again.

Zelena watched Emma turn away from her. She wasn't used to the little girl not responding to her humor or questions. Like her sister she was worried about her niece. Emma had not been herself according to Regina since the botched dinner evening with their Mother. She was about to try again when the front door opened and her sister came tumbling in.

Dropping her purse Regina went right for Emma kneeling down to feel her daughter over for any signs of hurt. She had heard the word fight and immediately envisioned skinned knees, a bloody nose, and tears, but Emma appeared perfectly fine. Hair and clothing a little rumpled if anything. She had wanted to rush right over to the school from work, but one look from her Mother said walking out on the board who had a direct impact on their jobs was not an option when Mary-Margaret came knocking with the call interrupting the meeting. Gold just smiled his oily grin asking if she needed to step out as if to prove his point in the deal they had made. But Zelena had made no such deal and stepped out in her stead. Regina wasn't even supposed to go into the office today. Mother insisted she not miss this meeting. Regina was mad at herself for not getting up then and there and walking out. Things were ever delicate between them though. But right now with Emma's hurt eyes on her she didn't give a fig about her Mother wanted anymore.

She was done with the bullshit.

Regina hugged her daughter. "Are you alright?" She felt a nod against her shoulder and pulled back to look between Zee and Emma. "What happened exactly?"

Shifting on her feet Emma's lips rolled in and she shrugged again.

"Emma?" Trying again Regina stood up. "Sweetheart you can tell me." With the girl still tight lipped she turned to her sister with a pleading look to give her some information.

"She got in a scuffle with a boy, Neal. She's been suspended for today, but…" Zelena began and paused when Emma scowled at her. That face was new and she was not sure exactly what to make of it when Emma directed it her way. "I think maybe Emma wants to tell you the rest."

"No. I don't!" And Emma launched at her aunt pushing at her legs. "Don't say that."

But Zelena just raised a patient brow at her niece in wait as Emma steeped back into Regina's arms.

"Emma. We don't push." Firm Regina cupped her daughter's chin as Emma gave her the same scowl.

Emma paused looking from her Mama to her aunt. Zee Zee had never looked at her before like that. Like Mama sometimes did when she said something in a way she shouldn't have. Emma's foot came up and then down, suddenly mad at her aunt again for telling. "Aunt ZeeZee don't tattle on me!" Then Emma's chin was caught again, but she pulled away from her Mama's hand as her arms crossed.

"We also don't shout at people." Regina came back down to her daughter's level to explain. "I was worried because I didn't have all the details about what had happened and Zee was just trying to help me not to be by telling me what happened."

A pouty lip stuck out. "But it's not nice to tattle! My teacher says so."

"Well your teacher is right about a lot of things, but this situation is not quite like that." Regina ran her hands up and down Emma's arms trying to soothe, but her daughter was fighting it. "You need to take a deep breath and then apologize to your aunt for pushing and shouting."

Emma sniffled; hurt over Neal and words he said she was still trying to make sense of at school was tangled up with this new feeling. She looked over at her aunt. Zee Zee was supposed be the fun one, the silly one, and she wanted that side of her aunt back right now. Ignoring the direction to apologize she said exactly what she thought. "That wasn't nice. Your supposed be on my side!"

Feeling her heart pull, and having no real experience with Emma mad at her Zelena stepped closer. "I am on your side Monkey and we would like to understand your side, but you need to talk to us so we can do that."

Stubborn and mad Emma shifted her eyes between the adults unsure of her next move.

"Are you ready to talk or do you need some time to think about your words and how you are saying them?" Regina cued, gesturing to the bottom step.

"Nooooo!" A loud shrill whine and Emma stomped her feet again at the implied meaning. "No time out!"

Zelena flinched. "Oi, I think my ear drums just broke with that one."

Regina rolled her eyes pointedly at her sister and then schooled her expression to a more neutral one when turning back to Emma. "Last warning sweetheart."

"Don't need time out!" Scowling again Emma's arms crossed tight and they were uncrossed for her as her hand was taken. "But Mama!" That got her absolutely no where but led to the bottom step.

"I think you do Emma. Five minutes and then we will try again." Regina had Emma sit down just as tears began leaking from little eyes. Zelena took that moment to give them some space by going into the kitchen still muttering about broken ear drums and tea. Regina did not want to discipline and by Emma's upset she knew her little one needed a few different things from her right now. This was the fine line between having expectations and understanding with where Emma was at she had been struggling with and Regina watched tears fall down from little eyes for a moment before she sat right down beside her daughter on the step. That motion seemed to surprise Emma who re-crossed her arms and dropped her head on a pair of knees. But Emma scooted a little closer to her anyway.

The next two minutes were filled with grunts of frustration. The three minute mark was full of wiggles and mumbles. By four minutes sniffles were left and Emma had scooted right up next to her side hip to hip where Regina wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Before five minutes were up Emma was in her lap clinging to her like a koala. Regina held her daughter and kissed the last tears away from that wet cheek. And that seemed to be the magic needed for Emma to begin to open up.

"Neal was mean to me Mama."

"How so little duck?" Knowing this boy from the few times Emma had talked about his shenanigans in the classroom.

"He said not nice stuff about me and you and Auntie and Nona. We were learning about family trees in class and how each one is special." A hiccup. "And in circle time I told about finding my special tree when I didn't think I had one before and then at recess Neal said I can't find a family tree and that I have to grow on one instead. I told him no and he said yes and he said that I couldn't use the special family names like other kids 'cause I didn't grow on your tree."

Regina shifted her hips and turned Emma to better see that contorted face. "That must have hurt your feelings very much. Neal is wrong and I'm very glad you understand that."

"Uh-huh." Rubbing an eye with a fist Emma's lips puckered again.

Sensing there was much more to that look Regina kept on. "Then what happened?"

"I got in trouble because we fighted."

"Fought." Correcting the word gently as her heart hurt for her daughter. "And how did that start exactly?"

Squirming, Emma started to explain. "I told him to take it back and he said no and I said yes and he said no again. Then I pushed him and he pushed me and we fell down. I kinda made him eat dirt for saying mean stuff."

Regina's right brow quirked up. That explained the dusty shorts and dirty nails then. She sighed. "While how you responded to his words was not okay, he was very wrong to say those things to you sweetheart. However, we do not get physical with others though when we are upset. That is not okay." Lifting Emma's chin she waited for a nod before continuing. "And you are absolutely right that you have every right and reason to use the same words for me and your Aunt ZeeZee and Nona as other kids." But instead of easing her daughter's upset that only seemed to cause more of it to surface as Emma pushed into her chest. Gently Regina patted a soothing rhythm against Emma's hip with her hand as she kissed the top of that head. "Why else are you so sad little duck?"

A big sniffle. "Cause I don't want Nona not to be Nona anymore or Aunt ZeeZee not to be my auntie or you not to be Mama." A wet cry as her shoulders shook.

"Oh, that is not going to happen. You're stuck with us for life baby girl." Regina assured, petting and kissing a wet cheek. Even in spite of the news about Gold, in her heart these words would be her truth. She'd fight with her last breath for them to be.

"But you and Nona fighted about me and Aunt Zee Zee is mad at me too and when people fight about me I have to move again and I don't want us to move nowhere else Mama. I want my room and my bed and our home and I don't wanna go to therapy anymore or wet the bed or be scared of the doorbell and—and 'member stuff that's scary.…" Emma let go of a sob into Mama's chest as she lost her words entirely.

So much more than the fight and at the raw root of the issue Regina's heart broke for her daughter. She pulled Emma closer rubbing up and down a little back. "I know sweetheart. None of those things is fair at all."

And with those so right words for what these hard feelings are that have been scrambled inside her for weeks Emma broke wide open. It wasn't fair she had to go talk about hard stuff every week and it wasn't fair that Mama wanted her and she was not adopted yet. Being scared of stuff other kids weren't scared of wasn't fair too. Mama knew. Mama understood and suddenly Emma knew that everything was going to be okay as long as she was in these arms. And even if it was not okay right away, Mama would hold her through it all anyway and make it okay. She trusted that like nothing else she had trusted before.

Regina soothed Emma as the tears kept coming. Her feelings mixed on what her daughter had shared. The fight with her Mother she had thought Emma had not heard, but must have heard some of, bothered her greatly. The fact that Emma said she didn't want 'us to move' eased her heart about how Emma felt about the permanence of their relationship. But the idea her daughter had of adults disagreeing meaning that the relationship was done did not sit well with her.

Regina waited until Emma calmed down some more before lifting her little one up to stand between her knees. She gently cupped two cheeks with both hands running the pads of her thumbs along the dimples in each cheek. "I need you to listen to Mama baby. Just because your Nona and I disagree over something does not make it your fault nor does it mean we have to move away. We are a family Emma. The beautiful thing about families is that they are forever and ever no matter what. In a family we are all a part of each other's hearts. We are connected and we need all our parts to work properly." Regina smiled gently as Emma's eyes began to brighten with understanding. "You are a part of this family Emma. You are a Mills and we stick together, even when we don't always get along and none of us are going anywhere." She tapped a little nose, getting a hint of a smile in return. "And for the record, your ZeeZee is not mad at you in the least. I think she was a little sad when she thought she had upset you though."

Emma thought about that and sucked on her bottom lip for a moment before speaking. "I'm not upset no more and I didn't mean to shout at her."

"I'm sure you didn't and I know you are not used to her being firm with you, but she has just as much right as Mama to be that way if you are acting up. She is an adult in your life and your family. She loves you sweetheart and sometimes that means helping to make sure you are being your best self."

"I wanna tell her sorry and give her a hug." Emma said.

"I'm sorry too Monkey." Unable to stay away any longer once she heard Emma crying Zelena hovered just inside the door way. Her own eyes were misty like her sister's from hearing what had been bothering her niece. "I really didn't mean to make you feel like I was telling on you."

Emma gave her Mama one more squeeze and took off slamming right into her auntie's legs. She was wrapped up there too, just as she had been in her Mama's arms and kissed on top of her head. "It's okay. You were trying to help me."

"I was indeed." Zelena agreed as she gave another kiss while picking Emma up. "How about we all have some of those buggy sticks now and then we can talk more about what we are going to have for lunch?"

"Buggy sticks?" Regina's nose wrinkled at the very idea as she got up from the step.

"Ants on a log Mama, not real bugs." Emma explained. "Can we have a hotdog in the park?"

Ever one for comfort food Zelena grinned. "Absolutely."

"And some kind of healthy side too." Regina chimed in as she followed them into the kitchen.

"Or we could do with some dairy." Zelena pretended to think. "Something cold and creamy."

"Ice-cream!" Bouncing in her auntie's arms Emma grinned a mile wide.

"Exactly what I was thinking. We can visit the ice cream shop by the deli after lunch." Giving her vegetable loving sister a teasing look Zelena set Emma down by the sink with a gesture to wash up as she set about pulling out their snack now appetizer. "And we'll make sure to get all the goodies we can pile on top." Putting her niece in a sugar coma was one of her specialties she was quite proud of.

Regina went to the island and took up a stool to sit as she watched Emma drying her hands. Amused at how quickly she was overruled by her sister and five year old. "Don't I get a vote in this?"

And Emma came right over and up to sit on her Mama's lap and said in all seriousness, "it's two Mills' against one Mama. But don't worry you can help me pick the toppings."

At the first Mills reference like that so casually used by Emma, Regina's felt warmth growing behind her eyes. They shined. "Thank you my little duck."

They ate their snack as Emma told them more about the good parts of her day and then decided to get ready to go. Emma tried to scamper away from having her face and hands wiped by Zee Zee before she was asked to go get on her shoes on.

Regina watched her daughter go with an amused grin when her cell phone rang. Pulling it from her blazer she saw the caller ID and promptly hit the ignore button before turning it face down on the counter. She was more than done with Mother for the day.

Zelena dried her hands on a dish towel and came over to lean her elbows on the island counter top. She laid her hand palm up on the counter and waited for her sister to take it. "It seems easy to do so, but you can't ignore her forever Gigi."

"I know." And Regina frowned now guilty. "I'll call her. I just can't deal with her right this second."

"Perhaps that's a bit of the problem."

"How so?"

"Dealing with Mother versus actually being real with her. Two very different things entirely."

"The other requires far more patience and hard cider than I have in stock right now."

"Hmm." Zelena hummed noncommittally and squeezed her sister's hand once before heading to the doorway.

"That's all you have to say on the matter?"

"With my big mouth, not in the least." Stopping in the door way Zelena gave her sister a firm, yet tender look. "That's all your able to hear right now as you say, but…" Getting rolling eyes for that word from Regina she continued, "I will say this; both of you are stubborn and passionate to a fault and a lot more alike than you think."

Regina couldn't help but ask. "And what is it you think exactly Zee?"

"Maybe you should start using that commonality to begin to work through this. She's our Mother GiGi and she certainly has her faults, but we only get one of her." Softening even more as she leaned against the doorway. "Besides Daddy would hate it if you two never reconciled. He'd only ever wanted us all to be happy."

How well her sister knew her and what to say to give her pause. Regina took a deep breath in and let it out as her sister's words sunk in. Zee was right. Her eyes must have given away her thoughts for the way Zee was looking at her. Regina gave a playful scowl. "You're wicked."

"That's me your wicked witch of a sister." A smirk bloomed as Zelena turned from the doorway toward the foyer to get her shoes. "Says a lot about where we came from doesn't it?"

Regina watched her go and damn if Zelena wasn't right again; the apple did not fall far from the tree and this tree was one she needed to return to the shared roots of to better understand. For her words said to Emma about family and what it meant to hold the weight they are worth Regina knew she must model that for her daughter. It was time to begin being real with her Mother. Regina stared at the phone in her hand for a long minute before placing the call to open the door to their past.

It rang thrice before Mother's clipped hello came at her ear. Regina took a deep breath, "Mother we need to meet and talk. Really talk…"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n - Next time Cora and Regina learn to listen to each other and each gains a new perspective of the other. The Mills sisters begin their battle with Gold. See you next week.


	10. Maternal Hearts

**Ch. 10 – Maternal Hearts**

**::::::::::::::::::::::**

“Mama, watch me!”

Regina’s face lit up watching Emma swing from the big kid monkey bars on the playground in Central Park. She was doing her best not to let the hint of concern over the distance from the ground Emma’s feet were dangling seep into her tone, wanting Emma to focus on what she was doing. “I see you sweetheart. Be careful.”

“I gots this. It’s easy!” Emma called back and swung with ease from bar to bar just like the little Monkey her Auntie said she was.

“She sounds just like you at that age.”

Regina spun around from her place on the bench. Not entirely startled for she had been expecting Cora’s company at some point this morning at the park. Being a neutral location it put them both on equal ground with each other rather than meeting at the office or at each other’s homes. Watching Emma playing in the distance also served as a reminder of the most important commonality they shared. Regina was sure that reminder would help bridge some of the gaps in their conversation today. Her Mother sat down on the edge of the bench, clearly eyeing it for any dust before she did. Regina wanted to roll her eyes at that, but didn’t for the way Cora was watching Emma so intently. “Is she Mother?” Wondering just what Cora’s underlying meaning was. “Like me I mean?”

“Mmhm.” Cora paused in memory not taking her eyes off of Emma. “Sure of her ability and even more so that her Mama will be there if she falls to make everything all better.” She looked over to Regina then with eyes softening just so at the corners. “At one time you used to look at me like that.” As Cora suspected that seemed to be new information to Regina. “I see that idea surprises you.”

“I just don’t remember.” Regina didn’t. Her Father, sure. He had always been there for everything when she was little, but she could not recall a time when she had ever thought of her Mother that way.

“The last time was when you were younger than Emma. About four and we took you to the aquarium.” Cora’s voice became strained at the edges as if dislodging something hard and long stuck in her throat.

“Daddy took Zee and I to the aquarium.” Correcting as she remembered it, Regina leaned closer to better hear the soft tone her Mother rarely used.

“Henry did that morning and I was able to join you all for a little while in the afternoon. You were quite upset with me at that point in the day already and refused to let me hold your hand at the aquarium at all.”

Something pushed deep in Regina’s mind, begging a locked door there to open. It was a strange feeling. Talking about a memory they shared but had apparently interpreted so differently. She didn’t doubt the truth from those lips for she knew quite plainly whenever her Mother lied. The truth though and Cora’s version of it, was hard to hear in a way she had not been expecting. Then again Regina had not known what to expect when she had asked her Mother to meet her here. That had been a tough phone call to make. She had not expected such an easy agreement to her suggestion to meet in the park on Saturday. Mother had deemed Central Park a dirty pigeon hole ages ago, but Cora accepted the proposal anyway.

Regina shifted in her seat on the bench as she watched Emma go down the slide. Had she really been so upset over her Mother coming late to the aquarium that she had pushed her from that memory entirely? Her uncertainty was well read as Mother spoke.

“You wanted so badly to pet the fish and we tried to explain to you that fish were not for petting. But you were sure they were and managed to sneak off into the dolphin exhibit to prove us all wrong. I was terrified when we came across you. Somehow you had gotten under the security gate and you were inches from the water leaning over with your hand out over the dolphin’s head. And then you looked back at us, at me, and smiled when it allowed you to touch it. As if to say _see I told you so_.”

And Regina remembered just vaguely the dolphin, but it was more of a startling visual in her mind. “It bit me didn’t it?”

“Just a nip. No skin was broken, but you ran right over to me wailing as if it had bitten your finger off.” Looking down at her hands, Cora smoothed her dress. “Then you seemed to realize it was me you were hugging and then went right to your father for comfort. You were still mad at me for not being there the whole day it seemed.”

“I don’t remember it that way.” Then once the door to the past was open it all began to tumble out of Regina’s mouth. “And not just that day. I remember wanting you to come to my school events, my horse competitions, and to play with Zee and I, but you were never there. You were always working. I remember wanting you to hold me on your lap for that family portrait and you refusing because it would wrinkle your skirt and you thought I was too old. I was six years old and I thought my Mother didn’t want to hold me. That’s the Mother I remember.” And her honesty seemed to be too much or maybe just enough, Regina wasn’t sure for the misty look coming her way. Cora’s chin lifted in a way she used to think meant her Mother was being proud, but she was quickly realizing that maybe it had a different meaning entirely.

“I couldn’t be there in person for your competitions or school events but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to be.”

Regina’s head shook. They had started this conversation too many times and she knew how it ended before, but this time she finally said what she had felt as a child. “Then you should have been. If I was a priority you should have been. It’s that simple.” And that blue gaze surrounded by the wrinkles of lost time around her Mother’s eyes said it had not been as simple in a way Regina did not understand and then her Mother returned to look at Emma climbing the slide. Cora looked old then and for the first time in ever so long Regina really looked at her Mother. Grief; resignation and regret sat heavy around those eyes. Regina looked away as her Mother spoke again unsure of how to deal with that realization.

“I wasn’t there in person, but I did see every jump you made with Rocinante, every smile for every ribbon you won and watched every volleyball game and every parent teacher conference and PTA meeting. Your father recorded all of them for both of you. Every last one Regina and I watched them when I came home at night after you girls were in bed.”

Shocked Regina turned fully to her Mother. Those eyes came on her again and they were soft in a way she only ever remembered being one other time; on the pier when she and Zee had gotten yanked back from the water before they had jumped in. There was an unsettled fear there in Mother’s eyes; a vulnerability that right now she, Regina, may be out of that reach for good. “Then why did you let me think otherwise? For so long, Mother why didn’t you tell me that? That would have changed so much.”

But Cora’s head shook. “When you were little you would get so mad at me whenever I said I would come to something and then work would happen and I never could make it. You were right to be mad and over time you stopped asking me to come altogether. And then as you got older it was just easier to carry on with how I had been doing things. Every so often I brought up coming to see one of your competitions you told me not to bother coming. I knew where that anger came from, but it still hurt.”

Regina countered. “You pushed me away. I was child. You were the adult. What was I supposed to do?”

“I am not blaming you at all Regina. Just listen to me for a moment.” Pleading when she never did Cora reached out laying her hand palm up on the bench. Her daughter stared at it and after a long moment Regina took it. Warm and soft in her hand Cora tried again. “I was never any good at expressing my feelings to you girls or at all. That was not how I was raised. Your Father was much better at that than I ever could be. He was your whole world. You girls were what he was good at and he was good for you. The business was my strength and the older you got and watching how you girls and your father got on so well and you seemed better for it without me… I didn’t know how to even begin to be a part of that anymore when I tried, so I focused on what I was good at; my business and my work. After a while the closer you both grew to him and away from me I didn’t know how to be good at anything else.”

“You’re wrong.” Regina began after a long silence save for the sound of little feet on gravel and giggles in the distance carrying on the breeze. “I was not better for the distance between us.”

Cora blinked back tears and nodded. “I was wrong about a lot of things Regina. Trinity included. For overstepping with Emma and not being there to support you through your rough go of it when you were there and after.”

“And is my being a lesbian what you mean by a rough go?” Needing to know for sure where Mother stood, Regina asked. Throughout her high school and college years her mother had tried to set her up on date after date with eligible young men related to Mother’s social circle and Regina hadn’t said yes to any of them. She remembered the last set up in particular over seven years ago, a charity gala her mother had hosted at the country club. Regina had been set up to meet and be the date of the son of one of the bigger donors for the event. Regina had showed up with Kathryn on her arm and her mother had not been pleased when their biggest donor had felt snubbed.

“I didn’t understand when you first told your father and I. I thought it was a phase or your way of rebelling against the school’s traditions, or even against me.” Cora squeezed Regina’s hand. “At that gala where you introduced your father and I to Kathryn, I began to realize just how much I had been wrong. I saw the way you looked at her, held her hand. You were in love and I knew I had made a grave mistake. I was embarrassed of myself and I didn’t know how to talk to you about that and you became angry with me whenever I tried so I stopped—and you had every right to be angry with me, but then we got to the point of not talking about it at all and that seemed to be what you were comfortable with. I didn’t want to push in order to save what was left of us.”

Regina processed that silently, simply looking at their hands. She had more than shut that door to that conversation her Mother had tried to have with her a few times after the gala. Eventually they had come to a point where they were both pretending it had not happened at all. Hearing her Mother side, really listening as she was not prone to doing, made her realize that she had more of a role than she had thought in this misunderstanding and hurt between them. Clear that her Mother thought her being gay was what had made Trinity, with its traditional push for religion and social norms, unbearable Regina finally looked up into Cora’s eyes. Mother had no idea how deep the well of hurt went.

Years of pain caused by bullying, keeping silent, and not feeling accepted swam in Regina’s vision blurring Mother at the edges. No one had known her daily torment. Not even Zelena, her always popular sister, until they had graduated. Hurt from being avoided in the halls or worse—shoved into lockers. Of DYKE BITCH being penned into her book covers or hate notes slipped into their pages. Hurt of having to change in the bathroom stalls for gym when other girls threatened to beat her up for ‘looking at them’ in the locker room. The name calling and whispered threats that had kept her up at night and doubting who she really was ate at her heart. Regina had kept all that to herself.

Right now she couldn’t do that. Not anymore. Regina’s lips moved of their own accord, spilling secret after secret. One by one they all came out in breathy little bursts. Her Mother caught every single one of them within carefully listening ears and when there was no more to tell Regina felt completely empty; needing for something else to fill her entirely. Then she was in her Mother’s arms. Stiff at first Regina froze within the unexpected embrace.

“I’m sorry.” Cora held the back of Regina’s head, running her fingers gently through dark curls. “I’m so sorry my darling girl.”

Regina lips rolled in as she melted, pushing into the feeling of Mother’s heart beating with her own. She lifted her arms to return the hug long overdue. These tender roots exposed between them she had taken for tough ones incapable of moving. All her life she had waited for her Mother’s willing touch and affection and it seems maybe when she had been very young they had just kept missing each other in passing. After a long moment Regina pulled back, taking up her Mother’s hand. Now, as she held this hand so much like her own she didn’t want to waste any more time over what ifs and should haves. There was more to talk about, but this was a start. Regina was about to say something along those lines when Emma ran over and plopped down right on the bench between them, nearly sitting on their joined hands.

Emma waved almost shyly as she leaned back into her Mama catching her breath from running over. She had not seen Cora since the dinner event and was not sure what she had just interrupted.

“Hello darling.” Cora greeted kindly with a small smile.

Then Mother was looking almost vulnerable in a raw way Regina knew she needed to help make right. She cleared her throat and rubbed Emma’s back. “Will you give your Nona a hug hello little duck?” And she watched Emma dive into those arms, realizing they had both been waiting for her permission. That was sobering in a way Regina wished it needn’t be and she promised herself then and there to start giving her Mother the benefit of her doubts. Mother deserved that second chance under this new knowledge and shared memories. Emma deserved a chance even more to get to know her grandmother without their past getting in the way.

“Guess what Nona?” Emma eagerly asked, wiggling on the lap she was now claiming for herself in clear excitement.

Emma took up the whole of Cora’s lap in a way that made Regina smile. Mother seemed to be genuinely surprised, delighted even, to have Emma sitting right there wrinkling that skirt. The sight warmed her heart.

Cora was all smiles. “What is that darling?”

“I’m gonna be in a play at school and I get to wear a costume and everything!”

“Oh my, that does sound wonderful.” Cora smiled even bigger over Emma’s enthusiasm.

“Will you come Nona?” Emma asked. “Mama and Auntie are and I want you too.”

Regina grinned and nodded behind Emma when her Mother caught her eye. “We would love to have you. It’s on a Tuesday evening in two weeks.” Then hesitated as Mother seemed to be checking a mental calendar. Had she misunderstood that look? Thinking she had when Mother had yet to answer she tried to recover the situation before Emma got her hopes up. “Sweetheart maybe—”

“Pleaaassee Nona, you have to come.”

And Mother surprised them both.

“I’ll be there darling.”

Emma looked at her Mama and pushed just to be super duper sure. “Pinky promise?” And held out her pinky curled in wait. Then she took her Nona’s when the woman seemed confused over the gesture. “It goes like this.” Connecting their pinky’s and waiting for an answer.

Cora looked at her daughter and then back to Emma. “I pinky promise.”

That seemed to be enough for Emma who scampered off that lap and right back to go play. But it wasn’t quite enough for Regina just yet. “Please don’t disappoint her.” They were quiet for a moment after Mother nodded and she sensed something else wanting to be said. She wasn’t kept waiting for long.

“I wanted to also let you know that I know about Robert’s connection to Emma and the court case.” Regina’s head whipped around in apparent surprise. Today was full of them in a way Cora could tell they were both struggling to keep up with. “He was in a foul mood earlier this week and less than civil in a way I will not stand for. I asked him about it and got it out of him.” Going between her daughter’s eyes Cora squeezed that hand again. “I wish you would have told me sooner just how much this deal was affecting you. I didn’t know how much he was pushing you. Also, with the situation with him and Emma. But I understand why you didn’t. Zelena filled in the other missing parts when I asked and I asked her to let me tell you myself that I knew, so please don’t be upset with her. I needed time this week to sort out my feelings on some things and act on them. That is why I was not able to meet with you sooner at the office earlier this week. I wasn’t avoiding you.”

Again—Regina had not been expecting that and in all the angst between them she had not said anything about Gold nor had she wanted to. But now things were apparently different. Things were getting more and more outside of her control with Gold. Maybe Mother could help in some way. Or maybe the business end of their relationship would yet again trump their personal one and so Regina simply waited for Mother to continue. For the ‘I told you so’ or the scolding for not saying anything sooner. This was new ground for both of them. Regina waited for the hammer to fall, but Mother said none of those things. Cora simply pulled an unsealed envelope out of her purse and handed it over. Tentatively Regina took it and opened it to read.

Tender words lay on neatly typed pages on Cora personal letter head about Regina’s relationship with Emma. Her Mother’s words and so detailed in description filled five pages. About how she was a fantastic parent along with numerous specific examples listing why all cataloged with dates and other witnesses to the examples given. Officially notarized and ready to be presented in the court case she and Zee had coming. Regina’s lips parted and two very full eyes settled on her Mother. “You write this? For me?”

And Cora tisked as she often did whenever anyone in her vicinity said something idiotic but this was on the softer side of seriousness she saved just for family. “You’re my daughter first and he is my business partner second. Robert’s an idiot for what he’s doing if he thinks he can sway a judge for him over you.” Cora turned then to look at Regina. “Of course I’m on your side with Emma. She’s your daughter and Kathryn’s. She’s my grandchild.” Then with all seriousness and with a dark glitter in her eye she knew Regina well recognized for any fool who dared pushed her over the edge. “And absolutely no one fucks with my girls and gets away with it.”

 

**:::::::::::::::::**

 

Regina sat nervously in the courtroom chair next to Zelena as she tried not to let her growing anxiety show on the surface. This was the second hearing. The first yesterday had just been a preliminary one to get a statement of intent from both sides. Gold was not going to yield on his petition to gain custody of Emma and the adoption process had officially been put on hold. She had yet to tell Emma anything, but had told Archie all about it in her own therapy session and as Emma’s foster parent had requested a letter on his behalf stating the why behind that decision in case it was called upon in court. She wanted to head off any possible push back Gold could bring their way. His lawyer was bound to be meticulous and she had lost sleep trying to make sure everything—

“Earth to GiGi.”

“What?” Regina asked. Startled out of her thoughts Zelena gestured to her phone buzzing on the table.

“You’ll want to silence that in the next minute.”

Regina looked at her phone and was getting ready to do just that when a message from Mother flashed across the screen. Opening it she was greeted with a picture of Emma sitting at the piano banging on the keys at Mother’s apartment. The carefree smile said enough about the moment to put her at ease over her choice to ask Mother to babysit this afternoon. Mother surprised her by being willing to leave work to have Emma at the apartment. Since their meeting last week things had been much more civil between them. It seemed they had both taken their talk to heart. There was still a lot to talk about but their immediate truce and focus remained on Emma. Too soon she darkened that screen and turned off her phone to be ready for when court official started.

Setting it aside Regina sighed as she twisted the painted macaroni bracelet Emma had given her for Mother’s day under her blazer cuff. She had taken to wearing it often. It had little yellow dots on each red painted macaroni piece that Emma insisted were hearts and each one gave her comfort when her ran her fingers over them. This hearing was going to be involved and she and Zelena had spent every spare moment getting ready for it. Gold was using all his influence to push this forward as quickly as possible and they had not been given as much time to prepare as she would have liked. Regina felt a nudge to her shoulder as the entire room stood for the judge to enter. Then they were seated again just as quickly and opening statements were given by both parties.

Regina took a deep breath as Gold’s slick lawyer; a cunning man by the name of Killian Jones called Robert up to the stand. His lawyer painted a picture of a stand up man that had been devoted to his family while they had been living. How he had successfully raised his departed niece on his own after his brother’s death and with the shocking loss of his expecting niece how he had been delighted to hear that a member of his family was in fact alive. How Gold wanted nothing more than to have Emma come home and be a part of the family she was meant to have. That statement made Regina sick. It was so obviously forced to her as well as she knew the man Mr. Jones was speaking of, but the judge seemed to be listening intently to everything coming out of his mouth and she did not know what to make of that.

But Zelena seemed to and through cross questioning painted a very different picture of Gold as a money career minded man with no interest in his past family. How he worked ridiculous hours and Ingrid had been left to be raised by people he’d hired to do it for him. A record of nanny’s, tutors and staff was provided by her sister and Regina was more than impressed with the resources at Zelena’s disposal to get such information so quickly. Zelena skillfully brought into question how Ingrid, a girl who supposedly loved her uncle, had wanted nothing to do with him when she came of legal age. It was a masterful building of fact that would kill Gold’s case; like watching a snake circle a rat it was going to devour, but the goal was to play with it first before sinking the fangs in.

Then Regina stood confidently when she heard her name called and her turn to take the stand she did with as much pose as she possessed. Killian regarded her and she him for a moment before he opened his twisted mouth to speak. Regina didn’t trust the fake smile on his face as far as she could throw him. He tried to make nice with her on a few simple questions about how she met Emma. Then Killian’s questions became far more personal as the interrogation went on. Regina answered flawlessly as she and Zelena had practiced. She stole a glance over Killian’s shoulder to Zee’s encouraging face. That was exactly when he went for a blinding right hook.

“Ms. Mills you seem to be fond of the child, that much is clear. Tell me though how is it that a single woman deeply in grief over her dead wife and married to her career would have the time for a child when you are so clearly recovering from your own battle with depression?”

Regina stiffened and glanced at Zelena whose brows were furrowed in question over the topic she had not shared with anyone. “I’m not sure what you are referring to…” And her words became lost to another question.

“Then allow me to refresh your memory.” Killian went to his files and pulled out a thick stack of papers and brought them over to the stand. He put them there right under Regina’s gaze by the microphone. “Please read the date at the top.”

Seeing exactly what the papers were Regina cleared her throat to keep the tremble from her voice as she stated the full date and year.

“And how long was that after your wife’s death?”

“Four months.” Four long dark months Regina wished she could forget and all but had. When her records were petitioned for and Gold’s in return she had thought nothing of it. She had nothing to hide or so she thought and had all but truly blocked out that date, that span of twenty four hours in her medical history. And the look on her sister’s face at this unknown card being played said just how dire the situation may now be becoming.

Mr. Jones pushed on. “And if you would be so kind as to read the admittance statement from your stay in the hospital at that time.”

Zelena stood quickly; a chair squeaking against tile. “Objection. Your honor I fail to see what this has to do with anything. The witness is of sound health and able bodied to care for Emma.” Regina looked like she was breaking at the seams and she had no idea over what.

“Overruled.” The judge eyed Killian. “Get to the point counselor. Ms. Mills please answer the question.”

Regina forced her lips to move no looking at her sister at all. “Patient admitted for sleeping pill overdose.”

“So back to my original question.” Killian took the papers and handed them to the judge. “The child is in therapy and is having some difficulty in school too since being with you. Her attendance records show numerous absences and an increase in aggression with an incident just a few weeks ago with getting in a fight and hurting another child. It makes me wonder why all of a sudden she seems to be acting out. How can you be sure that the child—“

“Emma.” Regina spoke up as her eyes hardened on the man twisting events into something they were not. “Her name is Emma.”

“Emma then.” Killian smiled patronizingly. “How can you be sure that Emma will be getting the best care possible when it is clear from these incidents that you are occupied elsewhere still recovering from your own mental breakdown from the death of your wife to give her the attention she needs?”

Zelena actually hissed. “Objection! Leading and speculation your honor.”

“Sustained." Then the judge spoke with a sharp eye on Killian. "But be careful counselor.”

And Regina’s hands began to visibly shake in her lap, so she gripped the ledge of the stand under the rail where her hands could not be seen, her eyes were steel and unwavering.

“Withdrawn. I’ll rephrase.” Killian said and began to pace, clearly warming up for another round. “Are you sure you are the best person to give Emma everything she needs?”

“I request a recess before further questioning your honor.” Zelena said, gesturing to the witness stand. Regina had gone white, looking positively ill in spite of wearing the corporate mask keeping her sister in one piece.

“After this question.” The judge waved Zelena down. “Please answer the question Ms. Mills.”

Regina took a deep breath, then two. “I don’t know—”

“You don’t know.” Killian repeated, clearly boasting in that answer.

“Let me finish.” Cutting back in and him off rather sharply, Regina kept going. “I don’t know if any one person can be everything for someone, but I know I am the best person to love and care for Emma and so are my sister and mother. Emma is a part of our family and she belongs with us. That I know for certain with everything that I am.” She let out a visible breath as the judge declared a recess. It was granted for a half hour.

Zelena went right up to the stand Regina seemed glued to and gently pried off her sister’s hands from their death grip on the bar. “Come on love.”

“Zee I…”

“Shhhh. It’s okay.” Zelena coaxed her sister into the counsel room set aside for their use. Once the door closed on them Zelena led the way to a small couch and sat them down. Regina was as white as milk and with a sour expression as if left out in the sun to spoil for far too long. “Hey, look at me.” Amber eyes were wide and full and she held them as delicately as she could. “I know you’re feeling blindsided and more than a little shaken, but I need to know if there are any more surprises like that that can pop up?”

Regina blinked as tears fell. She cleared her throat. “I’m sorry.”

Zelena’s brow wrinkled. “For what?”

“For not telling you.”

Nodding Zelena rubbed her hands up and down her sister’s arms in a soothing fashion. “Besides being the furthest thing from my mind at the moment, I know you had your reasons.” A little hurt over not knowing when her sister had been going through something and that Regina had apparently dealt with all on her own. She remembered back to that date and the trip her sister had been out of town at a conference when she had tried getting in touch that evening. Regina had not returned her call right away, but had the next evening. Zelena remembered that conversation vividly for the tight clipped way her sister had been speaking; like she would break all together if pushed in any way. So she had left it alone. Now Zelena was having doubts that she should have.

“It was an accident.” Regina’s voice cracked. “I just needed to sleep.” She hadn’t slept in months at that point and whatever precious sleep she had gotten was full of the Kathryn’s accident on repeat. Desperately exhausted she had taken more than she should have and fallen asleep in the hotel. Too soundly that housekeeping had been concerned when the door had gone unanswered past check out and when they had keyed into the room she was unresponsive. “I tried telling them that at the hospital, but they put me on a 24 hour watch anyway. I was so embarrassed and… the idea of Mother or you knowing or thinking that it was somehow purposeful… I just _couldn’t_.”

Gently her question slipped as Zelena took her sister’s hands. “Why not?”

Regina swallowed trying to keep her face from crumbling completely. “Because of the way you both look at me every time Kathryn comes up in conversation, like I’m broken.” And she was in her sister’s arms as she lost what composure she had left.

“No, no… GiGi I don’t think that at all.” She kissed the top of her sister’s head.

“You don’t?”

“Fuck no you idiot.” Zelena sniffed hard at the very idea. “You’re _my_ idiot too and don’t you ever forget it.”

The perfectly candid answer only Zee could give allowed for a brief laugh to escape Regina’s lips between falling tears.

“And you got me crying now too. But you are not broken. Not in the least. You’re the strongest person I know and we will just have to show those wankers that won’t we.” Then stating because Zelena had to be absolutely sure. “It was an accident then.”

Regina nodded and sat back biting her lip. She understood Zee’s need for clarification and in the understanding eyes holding hers, she was finally able to breathe again. “How bad does this make me look?”

“It’s not good, but it’s not horrible either.” Honest Zelena began to explain and think about their come back. “Jones is going to come at you again after this recess and you need to mask up and give it your best go. Then I can come in and we can turn it around together. I’m going to ask you about that night again, Emma’s therapy and even your own. But I think that will work in our favor.”

“I don’t see how. The judge must think I’m some emotional basket case.”

“Stop it.” Nudging Regina, Zelena assured. “He thinks nothing of the kind. I actually think he’s trying to find a legal way to hold Jones in contempt. The way he questioned you seemed to rub the judge somewhat the wrong way. You have a way of wearing your heart on your sleeve with Emma and right now that is our advantage.” Zelena shook her head firm then on their game plan. “And we are going to use your heart and love for Emma to tell your story.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N – Thanks for reading. :)  
> Next time: Our girls are back in court with the outcome of this hearing. Regina and Emma have the much anticipated talk about Emma’s origins and connections.


	11. War Paint

**Ch. 11 -War Paint**

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

Killian came out with guns blazing and Regina was able to field off his bullets for the most part. When it was time for Zelena to replace him in questioning she was more than ready for the cool balm of calm her sister brought. Zelena questioned her in a way that she was able to go back and elaborate on Emma’s absences and why they had happened as well as the fight at school and what it had been over. As Regina was able to tell her story her confidence grew until the last part she knew was coming that had to be addressed.

“Ms. Mills let’s go back to that night in April for a moment when you took the sleeping pills.” Zelena gave the barest of nods to the flash of worry in her sister’s eyes. “Why did you take them to begin with?”

Regina fingered her bracelet; the one Emma had made for her, as she began to speak. She explained the night in detail in a strong voice she was not sure was really her own. She kept it factual in a way the judge seemed to appreciate. How she had trouble sleeping and took two more in addition than the bottle had recommended and when she had finally slept she did like the dead. Had explained the whole thing in such a way that painted a very different picture of what Killian had.

“Thank you Ms. Mills. And do you have a history with depression at all?”

“Not, clinical no. I was deeply saddened after my wife passed, like anyone I suppose.” These questions even though they were asked with the utmost kindness and best of intent were still difficult ones to answer. Regina took a deep breath and reached for the glass of water.

Zelena paused as Regina took a sip. “Would you agree that your grief over your late wife was not any more or any less than anyone else’s would be in the same situation.”

_Was it more or less?_ But Regina answered before she thought too much about it. “Yes I would agree.”

“You already confirmed for Mr. Jones about going into therapy yourself recently.” Zelena continued. “Would you please tell us why you made that decision?”

Killian rolled his eyes at the opposing counselor. “Your Honor, objection. The witness has already answered this question.”

“Your Honor, please.” Zelena narrowed her eyes at Killian. “Ms. Mills was not given time to give a full answer and it is a valid point I am making I assure you.”

The judge nodded. “I’ll allow it. Continue.”

Regina sat up straighter and just tried to let her heart speak. “I have some unresolved grief I am working though from my wife. Being in therapy is not a bad thing. If anything it is giving me more insight and tools to help Emma through her trauma a failed system is responsible for. I want to be able to show Emma that it’s okay to ask for help when you realize you need it. That it doesn’t make you weak or less than.” And she realized there was more too. “I want Emma to know that her mother, both of them, are strong women who are not afraid to work through tough feelings and fight for what they believe is right. That’s why I am sitting here in this room full of people answering these intimate questions about my heart that are frankly no one’s business. But I am because I firmly believe with everything that I am that Emma belongs with me. She’s my daughter and I’m her mother. And nothing anyone says or rules in this room will ever shake my belief on that.”

“No further questions.” Zelena wrapped up without a closing statement. Her sister’s bare heart in the room was more than enough of a case well made.

There was one more brief break as the judge left the room in which they waited on pins and needles. When those chamber doors reopened and everyone stood Regina locked her knees in wait for his ruling and it was one no one had been expecting. Gold sneered their way as the Judge began speaking, he and Jones immediately whispering and clearly expecting a different outcome.

“While both parties present a compelling argument there is more that I think needs to be considered in this case.” Then the Judge looked at Zelena over the rim of his dark glasses. “The child has not been told of Mr. Gold’s intent or relation, is that correct?”

Regina’s fists clenched at her sides and while her upset was visible Zelena’s was carefully capped, a mask she was good at wearing in court and it showed now. “Emma has not your Honor. The statement submitted by Emma’s therapist strongly suggested for your Honor’s consideration that she not be unless it was absolutely necessary. My client also thought it best to wait.”

“Dr. Hopper’s words are being considered counselor.” The Judge assured. “Even so, I am deeming it necessary to get a better representation of Mr. Gold’s intent and Emma’s feelings on the matter. I am recommending twice weekly visitations over the next month to give Mr. Gold and Emma a chance to get to know each other. Then we will reconvene to consider next steps. I would like to interview the child after and look at the visitation notes.”

Regina blinked in disbelief with the Judge’s ruling and fought to keep her pounding heart inside her chest. “Zee…” A begging whisper as if somehow her sister could make everything better. She barely registered Zelena’s next words.

“We request that these visits be fully supervised your Honor and in a familiar location for Emma.”

“Granted. DPS will be in touch with a schedule and setting by Monday and Emma’s social worker present for all meetings.”

“Thank you.” And turning away, Zelena muttered solely under her breath. “ _Ball bag! Is he barking mad?_ ” She gathered her files and her sister in one swoop and got them the hell out of there.

 

**::::::::::::::::::::::**

 

Emma lay on the floor of the living room in Nona’s apartment on her stomach happily coloring when there was a knock on the door. Her head popped up when the funny music without words suddenly stopped and Nona got up from the piano bench to answer. She grinned when ZeeZee’s hello leaked into the room.

“How did it go?” Cora asked quietly and by the ill look on her girl’s faces she moved toward the side bar off of the dining room. “I’ll get the good scotch.”

“As if there is any other kind you keep in stock. Make it a double.” Zelena huffed, dropping her briefcase on the side table when little feet could be heard running their way.

“A single for me.” Regina set her purse down just as Emma slammed into her legs. She bent and lifted her little one up into her arms. “Hello my sweetheart.” She inhaled Emma’s fresh scent and wondered again for the millionth time that hour just how she was going to approach this with her daughter. The whole thing needed to come out; Emma’s parents, Gold’s connection, Kathryn, all of it just seemed too much to handle right now. And time was no longer on their side. The weekend at most, but all she could do right now was hold Emma closer.

“I was good for Nona and guess what? I had cake after lunch too!” Emma beamed and immediately squirmed as Mama’s thumb came for the corner of her mouth where cake must still be hiding.

“Looks like chocolate cake by the looks of it.” Regina mused.

“Uh huh! Nona and I made it.”

It had been decades since Mother baked anything. That got Regina’s complete attention and apparently Zee’s as well.

“No shi—?” Zelena began.

_“Language.”_ Both Cora and Regina admonished with a gesture to Emma.

Zelena muttered the rest of that phrase into her scotch before adding her other thought. “After today I could eat a whole cake. Especially if it is Mother’s Spanish chocolate one.” She pretended to pout. “You both don’t have to gang up on me either.”

Emma wiggled down and went over to her auntie. “It’s okay Aunt ZeeZee. I got your back.”

Setting down her glass Zelena bent to swing Emma up onto her shoulders. “You do in the best way Monkey. That’s what we do best in this family, but I think you also want more cake.”

“After dinner.” Again both her Mother and sister chorused together.

A pair of green eyes rolled mirroring her auntie’s and Emma asked, “Can we have dinner all together?”

Regina looked at her sister before going to her daughter’s eager face and then Mother’s. They hadn’t shared a meal in ages and their last attempt had not gone over well. She wanted nothing more than to just take Emma home and curl up together in her bed and say good bye to the day; the whole world for a while. But Emma’s face wouldn’t let her say no. “Of course we may little duck.” And she found herself saying yes to a lot more than just dinner as Mother’s face lit up and Zee and Emma went right back to their conversation about cake. Regina thought about Kathryn and Daddy too. The people in this room present or in memory were her entire world and she was not ready to say goodbye to any of them while she still had a breath in her body.

 

**::::::::::::::::::::**

 

Emma sat on Mama’s lap in her yellow room and stared up at red moving lips as Mama finished telling her about her birth parents. How the woman whose tummy she had come from had passed away a super long time ago with the man who was her birth dad in an accident at a lake. That was sad. Accidents were scary and this one must have been really scary because it made it so they didn’t ever wake up again. Like what had happened to Kathryn. Mama’s voice sounded funny too. Like she had something stuck in her throat even though she was trying to smile while she talked.

But what Mama was saying now was what was confusing her a little bit. How could she, Emma, have been an egg? Like the little birdie ones in a nest in the tree she liked to play under in the park. And she wasn’t her Tummy Mommy’s egg either. She was Kathryn’s egg. Emma liked that part very much, but it also made her sad that she did not get to meet her Tummy Mommy or Egg Mommy. Her egg had been put into her Tummy Mommy to grow up into a baby and be born. And here Emma was. Maybe how she was an egg didn’t matter, but whose eggs she was. That seemed to be important in this whole thing. Her Tummy Mommy too was important.

Ingrid. Emma rubbed the bridge of her nose at the name, wanting to stick her pinky in her mouth, but her hand was taken and held in Mama’s warm one as a hand rubbed up and down her back as she liked. She listened as Mama explained how Ingrid’s first last name before being married to her birth dad was Gold and how Ingrid was related to Mr. Gold. That name made her forehead wrinkle tight.

“The man who bought cookies from me?” And Mama nodded at her, saying because of the law—something that was super important and made all the rules people had to live by—that Mr. Gold was her great uncle, a judge was saying Emma was to meet him and get to know him.

Emma kicked her feet out straight in protest as Mama adjusted her and then more softly back and forth as she thought about this idea. Emma knew Mr. Gold was not very nice and that her Auntie and Mama worked with him. The one time she had met him he had bought ten boxes of cookies so Emma wouldn’t bug him again. He didn’t seem like a great anything, little long a great uncle. She promptly decided then and there she wanted nothing to do with the man.

“I don’t want to Mama.” But that did not have the effect it usually did when Emma said she didn’t want to do something. Red lips joined in a way that Emma knew meant she was not going to like what came from them next.

“I understand that Emma. Really I do. But this, like your therapy, is not one of the choices we get to make right now.”

“Why not?” Emma’s question brought on that pinched look Mama sometimes got when she asked too many questions or ones that did not have one answer.

“Because in order for me to adopt you a judge has to make sure that it is done the way the law says. And the law says that you have to be given a chance to get to know your next of kin or Mr. Gold.”

That was confusing. Why did Mr. Gold matter at all when Mama wanted her, Emma thought. “But _why_ Mama?”

Regina sighed, hating herself for what she was about to say. There was just no way to avoid the ache she was about to cause in those eyes. She had to tell Emma the truth. “Mr. Gold also wants to adopt you.” Regina felt Emma go ridged in her arms. “Mama is going to do everything she can to make sure that does not happen. Your Auntie Zee Zee too and Nona.”

“I don’t wanna.” Emma curled up and turned abruptly into her Mama’s chest as she was wrapped up tightly. “I don’t wanna go see him or get ‘dopted by him. I won’t!” Tears stung Emma’s eyes. How come just when she found her Mama someone was trying to take her away? Just when things seemed to be going okay someone butt in and wanted to move her away. That was always happening. Emma wasn’t aware that her breathing was becoming ragged and her chest tightening, but Mama seemed to because she was sat up and turned to sit so she was straddling that lap. Her baby blanket was draped over her shoulders and she was given Lucky Swan to hold. She was lying fully against Mama. Emma liked this position. Mama felt safe. Her hair was being stroked and Emma pressed her ear to a heart and focused on the beating sound it made as her pinky slipped into her mouth. She sucked and closed her eyes. They sat like that for a while as Emma further processed what was said.

Eventually Emma’s finger slipped from her mouth and she scowled. “No one cares what I want.” That’s how it felt her whole life until she came here. Mama always gave her choices. This time there were no choices to give. She put her finger back in her mouth.

“I know it feels that way baby and you are going to get a chance to tell the judge all of your feelings after a while. He asked to talk to you after you spend some time with Mr. Gold. I care very much what you want Emma and Mama is trying her best.”

That idea helped a little. Emma knew exactly what she would say to the Judge. Then just to be sure she let her pinky fall from her mouth again. “Do I _have_ to Mama?”

Clear on what Emma was asking, Regina’s eyes closed at the plea in that voice she had no power to give into. “For a little bit you do, but all your visits will be at the facility where we go see Dr. Hopper, in that playroom you like. Ms. Jenine will be in with you when you meet with Mr. Gold that whole time.” She felt Emma relax some at that, but that face puckered into a pout.

“But I want you in there with me.”

“I know baby and I want to be there too. I have to stay in the waiting room though, but I will be right there to walk you up to the door and right there as soon as you are done.”

“How long do I have to stay?” Emma asked around a pink yawn as she stroked the pretty purple stitches of her name on her blanket.

“An hour each on Wednesday and Friday for a while.” With therapy on Thursdays that would mean three tough evenings in their week. Regina felt her stomach turn. This was wrong on so many levels and there was nothing she could do, but try and make sure Emma had all the support and love she could give to get through it. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. She leaned down to kiss her daughter’s cheek, lingering there as Emma sniffled over the fact and Emma sighed, seeming to be done with that part of their talk entirely for now.

“Is that why Kathryn made the patch on my blankie? Because I’m her egg?”

“That’s what your Auntie Zee is working to help Mama figure out.” Regina explained. That had been put on hold as they worked on the details for the hearing. “That’s a wonderful thought to have though, isn’t it?

“Uh huh like magic.” Emma snuggled into her favorite spot in the world. “Mama, I like that Kathryn is my Egg Mommy.”

Regina’s lips rolled in as a tear of her own slipped right down her cheek. “I love that she is too. Very much.”

“I wish I could have come from you too.”

“Just because you did not grow under my heart does not mean you are not apart of me. You started growing in my heart from the moment I met you baby.” Emma looked up at her and traced the tear streak on her face.

“Does that make you my Heart Mama?

At her daughter’s wisdom beyond her years Regina cupped Emma’s cheek, her thumb rubbing gently over a dimple. “It does. In the best of ways my heart beats for you my little duck.”

 

:::::::::::::::::::::

 

Wednesday came too quickly for both of them. Regina stood with Emma at the counter of Dr. Hopper’s office as she signed them in. As expected Emma was quiet and clutching Lucky Swan she insisted on bringing. On the drive over Emma had refused to eat her snack and Regina attributed it to nerves over the meeting and had stopped insisting when it was clear her daughter was not going to budge on the matter. Her own nerves were affecting her stomach as well.

Normally Regina had her appointment with Dr. Hopper on Wednesday afternoons before she picked up Emma from school. With the new addition of Gold to their schedule she had decided to double up their appointments. If anything to keep her mind occupied and to work through her own feelings about this whole thing while Emma was with her Social Worker Jenine and Gold. She trusted Jenine and knew the woman would step in if Emma was in any type of discomfort. She felt a tugging on her blazer and dropped the pen to lean down to Emma’s level.

“Lucky Swan wants to go home. Now Mama.”

“I know he does sweetheart.” She had been told this the entire car ride over numerous times. Her heart hurt for her daughter and Regina promised what she could. “We will go right home in a while after your visit.”

Emma pouted and held Lucky Swan tighter. Almost as if he was a shield over that little heart. And that gave Regina an idea. Taking her daughter’s hand she led the way past the reception desk to the single bathroom at the back of the office.

“I don’t have to go bathroom Mama.” Emma said as she was taken inside and the door closed behind them. Still confused as she was lifted up on the counter top to sit with Lucky Swan in her lap. This brought Emma up nearly eye level as Mama’s purse was set on the counter too.

Regina rummaged through her purse looking for something. “That is not why we are here little duck.” Then finding the bag she was looking for she pulled it out and unzipped it. “Do you remember when you asked me about why I wore makeup?”

Emma thought for a long moment and tilted her head in curiosity. “You said it was your war paint.”

“I did.” Regina agreed. “And what did Mama say war paint does?”

“It’s like your shield for the office.”

“Exactly and when I wear it, like Kathryn’s perfume, I feel like I can do anything.” She didn’t have any of her special perfume to offer Emma, but Regina had the next best thing. She pulled out three different eyeliners and held them out to Emma. “Pick one.” Little eyes grew wide and just as Regina hoped a small smile grew as Emma looked between the black, brown, and navy sticks. A finger pointed to navy and she uncapped it, dropping the rest back in her bag. Cupping Emma’s chin Regina tilted it up and drew one thick line on Emma’s left cheek and then one her right one. She shaded both in thick before pointing to the mirror.

Emma snapped around looking closely at her face. She thought she looked tough like those football or soccer players she liked to watch on TV with the lines on their faces. She flexed her muscles and scrunched her face up showing her teeth as she had seen them do when they got the ball through the goal.

“What do you think?” Regina’s tone was brighter for the light coming back to Emma’s eyes.

Turning back around Emma held up Lucky Swan, a huge grin beaming up as she pointed to his plastic beak. “Him too Mama! Then we’ll be ready for anything.”

 

**::::::::::::::::::**

 

Regina sat in Dr. Hopper’s office as the heel of her shoe bounced up and down. A glance at the wall clock behind his head said she’d had only been in here twenty minutes. That fact made her sigh as she uncrossed and re-crossed her legs. Then Archie was speaking to her again and she forced her mind back to the present.

“You mentioned earlier that the cross examination during the hearing brought up some old feelings for you about Kathryn. What in particular Regina?”

Archie spoke in gently coaxing manner Regina had come to appreciate about the man. She got to direct exactly where their conversation went each week and unlike some other therapists in the past Archie tended to ask more questions than give advice or direction on what to do with her feelings. Answering those questions though was still something she was working on. Sometimes Regina didn’t and changed the subject entirely, and Archie went with it, but he had a talent for bringing the subject back eventually to what had been avoided to try again. Like this one she was thinking about answering now. Regina let out a breath and clasped her hands together. “When Zelena asked me about my grief and if I thought it was any more or any less than anyone else in my position. I said I supposed it was the same as anyone else’s.”

“You’re not sure?”

Regina’s eyes snapped up from her hands. “I didn’t say that.”

“No you didn’t.” Agreeing with that fact, Archie asked another way. “Do you still feel that way now that you have had some more time to think about it?”

“I…” And Regina promptly closed her mouth as her mind went right back to sitting on that stand. Tight. Her chest felt tight now as it had when she had been questioned. “I don’t know. There’s a lot I don’t know.”

Archie leaned forward, resting his notebook and pen on his lap. “What are some of those things you don’t know?”

An unexpected heat spoke alongside an edge in Regina’s voice. “I don’t know how my wife of five years didn’t tell me something as big as donating her eggs when we were talking about having children of our own. I don’t know why she kept that hidden from me. Or how Kathryn came to make the embroidery on Emma’s baby blanket or why Gold has any interest in adopting Emma when it is clear his only interest is money; keeping it and making it. I don’t know why this _asshole_ judge is doing this to Emma. I don’t know how to make the ache I see in my baby’s eyes over this whole thing go away. I don’t—” And a dry sob escaped as Regina pounded a fist into the couch arm. Gaining her breath she gave him watery eyes. “I don’t know how to fix any of it.” A hard breath in and then out, Regina repeated it again and again as she reached for a tissue on the table to dab her eyes.

“How does that make you feel?”

“Like shit, obviously.” Honest Regina shook her head as her mask slipped, surprising herself for snapping at him. Her shoulders dropped. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s a lot of emotions it seems you need to let out. This is a safe space for you to do so. ”

Regina blinked and sighed again as her shoulders dropped. She was tired. Exhausted actually and then that exhaustion took over and began to speak. “I guess I didn’t realize how much not knowing those things is affecting me. It makes me worry that much more about how this is affecting Emma.”

Archie nodded as he pushed his glasses back up his nose. “Children are amazingly resilient. Emma has been through a lot, but she is making incredible strides with your support and care. Adults tend to be resilient too, but because we have more life experience that affects our present one it doesn’t always feel like we are making as much progress.”

“It feels like I keep walking into a brick wall and just when I find a way through or around it another wall pops up.”

“And what is this wall that’s in front of you right now Regina?”

She thought about it for a moment searching for the word and was surprised by it. “Anger.” And it must have showed on her face for Archie nodded encouragingly. Regina began smoothing her slacks.

“Anger at whom?”

Automatic. “The judge. Gold. Myself.”

Archie nodded and asked again. “Are any of those people representatives of the wall in the room right now?”

Regina’s hands stilled as she swallowed thickly. “No.”

“It’s okay to say it Regina and even more to feel it.”

Tears welled over the unsaid who. “Is it? Because it doesn’t feel that way. It feels wrong.”

“Your feelings are not wrong, but they can be hard to say and work through.”

Amber eyes found the ceiling and then gave up trying to push her tears down. They fell as Regina’s eyes found his and her heart spilled over. “Kathryn. I’m angry at Kathryn for not being here. For not listening about replacing that stupid bug with something safer and giving up her eggs when we could have had Emma together. Then none of this would have happened. Emma wouldn’t be going through this and we’d be together. I’m angry she _left_ me.” Her blame wasn’t rational nor was it fair. None of it was. Right then Regina didn’t care. It felt good to say it. These things she had been thinking and pushing down since the accident. Archie let her be for a few minutes as she worked through her tears and then she watched him reach behind to his desk where he opened a drawer and pulled out a spiral notebook. He held it out and Regina took it. “What’s this for?” Asking as she dried her eyes.

“Some homework for between now and our next session. I’d like you to write more about these feelings or perhaps if you want to a letter to Kathryn. This journal is for you. I won’t be reading it unless you want me to. I just think it will help you to have a readily available safe space that you can process your feelings between our visits.”

Regina ran her fingers over the spiral edge. “Kathryn was quite the writer. I never understood what she got from it exactly other than it being a way to document her past.” It had never been her way to write about what she felt or to even talk about it at length. Maybe this idea Archie was suggesting would help. Maybe it would help her understand more about the mystery behind her late wife’s beloved hobby and maybe it would help make her ready for some of the answers to her questions she knew were lying in wait between the pages of Kathryn’s journals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N – This story is going to start winding down. Ch. 15 will be the epilogue. Longer chapter next week. See you then.
> 
> Next time: A gift Emma receives is far more than it seems. Zelena has a big announcement. Regina’s advocates for her daughter. Gold plays a trick. Cora steps up.


	12. Once Upon a Play

**Ch. 12 – Once Upon a Play**

**::::::::::::::::::::::::::::**

Regina had been expecting lot of things from Emma's visit with Gold, but she was not expecting to have Emma come out of the doorway from the therapy rooms holding Jenine's hand with a hint of a smile on her face. She was happy that Emma seemed happy, but the why is what she was puzzled over. She knelt as Emma ran for her and picked her daughter up giving a kiss hello as she eyed Jenine for some clue. Jenine shook her head and Regina remembered, like with Archie, she was not privy to the details of these visits. Regina sighed and moved to sign them out as Emma wiggled in her arms.

"Look Mama."

"What little duck?" Dropping the pen and heading to the door Regina finally took in what Emma had. A white book was clutched right next to Lucky Swan. For a moment Regina thought Emma had accidentally taken it from the playroom, but the way Emma was holding it and beaming said that was not the case and that this was no ordinary book. "What do you have there?"

"It's a storybook." Emma leaned over where Mama held her to press the button for the elevator.

"Did Mr. Gold give it to you?" Regina turned up her voice at the end in interest. It was just a book, but the idea of Emma loving it because Gold gave it to her rubbed her the wrong way and she chided herself for feeling that way. It was just a book.

"Yeah, it belonged to my Tummy Mommy when she was little and her daddy gave it to her."

Regina froze as the elevator doors closed on them. Like she forced her mouth closed on the first thing she wanted to say. It was more than just a book then. So much more. Her lips pursed in thought over Gold's intent. She should have expected something like this from him. Emma turned the book over so she could see it better. It was covered with white leather and had gold letters across the front that read _Once Upon A Time_. Emma opened the cover and there was a loopy hand written inscription Regina read in her head:

 

_To Ingrid – My little snowflake_

_If you ever find yourself alone and in need, everything you need from me is between the cover._

_Love,_

_Daddy_

 

A father's words of love and hope for his daughter and Regina wondered over what the inscription from Gold's brother meant as she closed the cover. "Looks like we have some new stories to read."

"Uh huh and my war paint worked good!" Emma's whole face lit up as they stepped on the elevator. "And I wasn't scared at all."

"I'm glad that was the case." And like most times Emma began telling her about her time in the playroom.

"We colored and looked at pictures. My Tummy Mommy was in Girl Scouts just like me. She loved stories. Uncle Robert said he gots the book with her stuff when she went to sleep for always." Emma rattled off these facts as if it was natural to do so, but frowned for a few reasons when Mama stopped walking and took up her chin.

"Did he tell you to call him that?"

Emma bit her lip almost sadly and nodded.

Regina felt herself stiffen over more than the name. She kept hold of Emma's chin and tried to keep her voice calmer than she felt. "And is that something you want to call him little duck?" Perhaps that was the better question because Emma's frown deepened as she clutched the book tighter. "Hmm? You can tell Mama."

"He said that if I wanted the book we could make a deal."

Regina's blood simmered over the way her daughter's emotions had clearly been played. "And where was Miss Jenine when this deal happened?"

"She answered her phone and went to sit on the other side of the room to talk." Emma's brows knit, not liking that Mama was upset. She could tell by the way the vein in Mama's forehead was popping out. Then she was set down and Mama leaned down to take her hands as she hugged the book and her swan. Emma looked at them, liking how they fit together and she knew that what was going to be said was really important because that's what always happened when Mama took her hands like this and wanted her to pay extra special attention.

"Baby, look at me." Regina waited until she had Emma's eyes. "Family names like that are special and no one has the right to force you to use them. They are for when you want to. Mr. Gold was wrong to make that deal with you about the book in exchange for you calling him uncle. If you want to call him that on your own…" She paused briefly at the very idea and forced herself to continue. "Well then that's one thing, but he has no right to make you feel like you have to. Do you understand that difference?"

"I think so." Emma nodded, relieved. "I don't wanna call him that Mama." Her nose wrinkled and she began to relax when she realized she was not going to be made to. "Can I still keep the book?"

"Yes, little duck." Standing, Regina led the way to the exit where their car waited.

"And you'll tell Mr. Gold that for me?"

"Oh Mama is going to have a very long talk with Mr. Gold and a few other people about just that. Don't you worry." Lips pursed over the idea as Regina thought about how that conversation would go, planning to make a side trip into the office tomorrow to do just that—and kick Gold where it hurt.

 

**::::::::::::::::::**

 

That same evening while Regina waited for Emma to finish eating dessert in the kitchen Regina sent a text to Zelena inquiring about that status on the search in Kathryn's journals about the blanket mystery. Her sister had said she was going to work on it today and she was wondering over the progress. She scrolled through her contact list while she waited for a response and then decided to try another call she needed to make. An annoying beeping sounded a moment later.

Regina shook her head over the sound of a busy phone line when she hung up after her attempt at calling Gold. He had conveniently stepped out for lunch when she had come in to confront him about the deal with the storybook. On her way out she had run into Mother who insisted she look over some paperwork while she happened to be there. By the time Regina had gotten out of there Gold had left for the day and Regina had to hurry to pick up Emma and take her for the usual weekly visit to Dr. Hopper. After another trying appointment they had ordered in from a local diner that was quickly becoming Emma's favorite eatery for the grilled cheese sandwich they specialized in. That had been consumed in a mini battle of wills along with the broccoli side Regina had added to the order. Emma's chosen popsicle dessert had been hard won and masterfully negotiated by the little girl for exactly 3.5 bites of broccoli in a way Regina was sure would make Zelena proud.

Regina paced the foyer looking at her phone trying to decide if she should try to call again when the door bell rang. As expected for the lateness of the evening hour little feet hit the floor and ran her way from the kitchen. Regina set down her phone on the hutch and readily bent to intercept Emma who leapt up into her arms. Gently she rubbed her daughter's back as Emma's legs wound tight around her hips and a sticky face tucked right up against her neck as Regina moved to answer the door. She was surprised to see Emma's social worker on their stoop.

"Mama?" Emma whimpered in her ear and Regina kissed the back of a blonde braid murmuring that all was alright as she gestured for Jenine to come inside.

The mousy brunette quirked a brow up over a pair of glasses with a smile, but said nothing as she stepped into the brown stone and followed into the living room. Regina nodded to a winged chair for Jenine as she sat with Emma in her lap. It seemed like Emma finally registered who it was and the girl visibly relaxed and wiggled off her lap when it was clear this was one of the routine visits they had gotten somewhat used to through the adoption process.

"I wanna finish my popsicle." Was all that was said as Emma darted out of the room. Regina smiled after her and sat back waiting for Jenine to start with the regular questions.

"That's new."

"What?" Regina asked.

"Emma calling you Mama." Jenine pulled out a small note pad and wrote something. "When did that start happening?"

And Regina leaned forward again. "Several weeks ago, why?" More scribbles in that book and Regina was getting irritated with everyone's need to write down her every word between court, Dr. Hopper, and now this.

"No reason." Jenine kept writing, her face unreadable. "How is Emma doing since her visit yesterday with Mr. Gold?"

Something in that tone was off, Regina thought. "Emma had a bad dream last night, but that is not uncommon a few times a week. But I think her mind is just working through the newness of what I told her about Ingrid and Mr. Gold." She clasped her hands over her knees wondering if Gold was the right person to discuss the storybook issue with and decided promptly it probably wasn't. "Emma did tell me that Mr. Gold gave her a present, the book. How it was Ingrid's as a girl." Jenine neither confirmed nor denied what she said. A pen simply moved on paper, then it paused.

"Emma seemed quite taken with it and with him." Explained Jenine rather factually. "Other than you, I have never seen Emma take to someone so quickly."

Regina squared her jaw and cleared her throat. "He forced her to call him Uncle Robert." That pen stilled and she finally got Jenine's eyes on her.

"Excuse me for saying otherwise, but that is not what I observed."

"You mean what you didn't see or hear when you stepped away to take a phone call." Countering that claim with a fact, Regina held firm in Emma's defense.

"Ms. Mills—" Jenine began and was promptly cut off.

"Are we back to formal names after five months Jenine? Really." Regina pushed. Where Emma's safety and well being was concerned she would always push.

A curious question. "Did that bother you? That she called him her Uncle."

Regina's hands opened to the room showing she had nothing to hide. "Only for the reason it was said." That was written down too.

"You know you are not supposed to be asking Emma about her sessions."

"And I didn't any more than a casual question about where she got the book." Regina insisted. "She told me the rest and I am reporting it to you as I am supposed to do when something of importance is concerning her. You were supposed to supervise the whole session."

A sigh as Jenine stopped writing and folded her hands over the notepad in a weary manner. "I had an emergency call for another child I had to take. I have 35 kids on my case load and honestly Emma is not one I am worried about."

Regina bristled. "She is just as important as any one of your cases and she is more than a case. She's—"

"Getting mad at me is not going to help anything Regina. I only meant that I am not worried about Emma because she is with you and I am going to do what I can to make sure that stays the case and the adoption goes through as planned." Jenine tapped her pen against the notebook considering the upset woman before her. "I am on your side here. Truly. So take it easy. Alright?"

Taking a breath Regina nodded and sat back, still eyeing the woman across from her she had no choice but to trust. That was another hard part about this whole thing; trusting the people in a system that had repeatedly failed her daughter. Archie had been an exception and up until this point so had Jenine. Right now with the price on the line, mistrust could be damning to her case. Still she had to be sure for Emma's sake.

"Now, why don't you tell me exactly what Emma said about the situation Regina and then I'd like to talk to her."

"To verify?" Regina couldn't help asking. This routine visit was not going as they usually did. She was on edge and then remembered the last time she had felt like this. It had been on Jenine's first visit when she had thought the woman was the social worker who had left Emma with the foster parent responsible for abusing Emma. Maybe she was jumping to conclusions now as she had been then before Zelena had yanked her aside and told her off for jumping down the woman's throat when Jenine had just been trying to help. Regina sighed and shook her head deciding once again to give the benefit of doubt. "I'm sorry. I know that's standard procedure. I'm just concerned about Emma spending time alone with Mr. Gold." She went on to relay the events of the storybook as Emma told them to her and then stood. "I'll get Emma for you." Regina paused at the door way when her name was called and she turned.

Jenine had a soft open look, rare for that tired face. "While I can't discuss anything about that time, I can promise you I will keep a closer eye out."

Regina nodded once and left to get her daughter. After setting Emma up in the living room with Jenine and some requested juice she returned to the kitchen with her phone, glad to see a text from her sister about her inquiry over the journals.

**Zelena: Seriously. That's all you have to say?**

Her brows knit as she typed a quick reply: _What do you mean all I have to say? I'm just asking about the journals because I was thinking about it since my session with Dr. Hopper and you said you were working on it today_.

**Zelena: I mean I've been working my ass off on this case and being everything for everyone else.**

Regina read that message twice; clear Zee was talking about something else entirely and hit the call button. It rang and rang and went to voicemail. She rolled her eyes over the virtual tantrum and texted again: _Pick up the phone Zee._

 **Zelena:** **I am not in the mood to talk Dr. Phil.**

_Regina: But you are to text? I can practically see you stomping your foot through the screen._

When no answer came, not even three dots on the screen, Regina knew she was right. Thinking it was boyfriend related she tried again.

 _Regina:_ _Alright, I'll bite. How was your day?_

**Zelena: Just peachy.**

_Regina:_ _I doubt that. What did he do now?_

**Zelena: Ambrose is a wanker.**

That said it all. While Ambrose was entertaining for her sister between the sheets and of a brilliant mind to match he had a rather dull personality from the few times Regina had met him. And Zelena needed someone as feisty and quick as she was to keep up with her. Regina knew it was just a matter of time before those two called it quits permanently.

 _Regina:_ _Do you want to come over for the night? Emma is about to go down after Jenine leaves and we can eat ice cream and binge watch a few episodes of that new Netflix series you've been on about while we Ambrose bash._

**Zelena: Rocky Road?**

Regina chuckled over the magic words and texted: _Is there any other kind worth eating over a break up?_

**Zelena: And you won't be a Bobby and get on me about eating out of the container?**

_Regina: Tonight there will be no arrests._

**Zelena: When I get there I want to tuck my little Monkey in good night.**

After seeing Jenine out, Zelena arrived minutes later. The sisters read Emma a story from the new storybook and tucked their girl in before heading downstairs to the kitchen. In true sleep over fashion they had both donned their pajamas and Zelena took it to the next level with popcorn, ice cream, and bringing along a take and bake pizza. While they prepped the food Regina poured them two glasses of wine and while she had drank half of hers Zelena had left her glass untouched. She was about to offer something else when Zelena shifted their current subject of discussion from the Uncle Robert comment back to Archie.

Regina shared about the therapy session while she plated their food and followed Zee into the living room. Due to her previous upset over Gold she had not eaten much of her dinner and the carb filled plate in front of her looked delicious. She took a huge bite. A cheese string followed her mouth that Regina had to pick away much to her sister's amusement.

"I'm proud of you."

Amber eyes rolled. "I enjoy a good pizza as much as the next person Zee."

"I meant about Dr. Hopper."

Regina wiped her mouth and shrugged. "It's not a big deal."

"Bullshit it's not."

"Language." Automatic at this point.

"Emma's two floors away _Mother_." A jest that got her the stink eye and Zelena laughed as she tossed one of the couch pillows at her sister. "Seriously though. I am. You're opening up and really processing your grief and that takes some major balls." She caught it when it was tossed back and hugged it to her middle as she grew more serious. "Admitting you're angry at Kat had to be hard for you."

"Dr. Hopper wants me to write about it. Between sessions I mean." Regina told about the journal she was starting to write in and just noticed Zee had yet to take a bite of food. "You have to help me eat all this." Gesturing to the junk food feast spread in front of them.

"My eyes are bigger than my stomach lately."

"You're always hungry. You and Emma are both bottomless pits when it comes to carbs and sweets." Regina nudged her sister's shoulder gently. "What's wrong, other than Ambrose I mean?"

Zelena shook her head. "He's enough and I don't know if something is quite wrong so much as I am about something being right."

Setting her plate aside Regina turned and gave her full focus. "What is it then?"

"The first time you asked me to help Emma get ready for bed I was clueless as to what I was doing. I had seen you do it a hundred times over without paying any mind to the routine and then suddenly it was my turn. Emma was a complete doll and gave me step by step instructions on everything and at the end I felt like I could do it in the dark with one hand if I had to."

"That was also the night she called you her auntie." More than fond over the memory Regina smiled same as her sister did.

"I'll never forget it and since then I have done a lot of thinking and since our talk about my job at the restaurant when you asked me how much of my life was my choice over Mother's influence." Zelena looked at her hands. "I have been in school or working for most of my life and seeing you with Emma makes me question if that is all I want it to be at this point. And now I have another choice I was not even expecting and I am going to go for it.

"Go for what?" Regina leaned forward and took her sister's hand.

"A family."

Head tilting in question. "But you just broke it off with Ambrose."

Zelena nodded. "I did."

"Not that I disapprove, but why?"

"Because he doesn't want a baby."

Regina's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. "You're pregnant?"

Moss eyes glowed as a smile grew. "Five weeks. I had the blood test a few days ago."

"Oh my god!" Shocked and ecstatic for her sister Regina threw her arms around Zelena's neck.

A laugh. "I take it you're happy for me then?"

"Over the moon as long as this is what you want." Regina hugged tighter as her sister returned the embrace. "Were you even trying?"

"That's just it." Pulling back, Zelena shook her head. "I am, was, on the pill. It just happened. I was shocked when I found out, but after thinking about it and how I've been feeling there is no doubt in my mind that I want this. I want this so much GiGi I can't even tell you."

"Want what?" Emma's sleepy drawl came from the stairwell and little feet padded right into the living room and over to the couch. Emma climbed up into her Mama's arms to sit and snuggled in with her legs draped over her auntie's lap. "Aunt ZeeZee?"

Smiling a mile wide Zelena asked. "How would you like a little cousin to monkey around with?"

Perking up Emma's eyes got big as she began bouncing. "Really? For reals, real?"

"For really real." Confirming Zelena tapped Emma's nose and got a giggle for her efforts.

"Then I can share my toys and we can bake cake with Nona and have Christmas all together like a big family."

"Just like one big happy family little duck." Regina confirmed and kissed her daughter's cheek before Emma left her lap for Zelena's. Five months ago when Emma had walked into her office for the first time she had no idea how much her life would change. Or maybe it was way before that when Kathryn made the decision to donate her eggs. Without everything that had happened in between she knew that it would have been unlikely that Emma would have ended up with her. Losing Kathryn had spun her into a darkness that her family had sought to bring her out of with the foster Christmas program. Every puzzle piece had been put together to bring them to this moment; a bigger picture she had not even known was there to be found in all the little pieces. Regina thought about this as she watched Zee cuddle with Emma. Two of her favorite people in the world she got to call her family.

Fate or something else had brought Regina piece of her wife back through Emma. And in that moment, no matter the hard day or the Gold's of the world, Regina was grateful for that something more.

Later that night after putting Emma down a second time and after Zee was snoring away in the guest room Regina went to her bedroom. She took out the journal Archie had given her from the front part of her purse. Sitting in the middle of her bed in the dim lamplight Regina opened the notebook to the first page and with a deep breath she began a letter to Kathryn.

 

**:::::::::::::::::::**

 

Regina was late. She was never late and everything that could go wrong this evening had gone wrong to make her so. A last minute deadline from Gold had put on her desk that afternoon needed immediate attention for board approval in the morning and kept her at the office longer than she had prepared for. Mother had already left to swing by the brown stone to get Emma's costume she had accidently left in the foyer that morning and would meet her there. Zee, as always was a god send and had taken care of Emma after school so Regina could finish up. Half passed six she was finally done.

Seeing the time made Regina bolt up out of her seat. Regina hurried to the elevator and ran right into Mary-Margaret dropping everything in her arms in the process. Traffic was the usual nightmare and even more so with the construction that had popped up since that morning. Regina sat on the edge of her seat as David weaved through the detours as her mind began to wander.

It was only Tuesday and it felt like a long week already. Emma's visit with Gold last Friday had gone, once again, surprisingly well. Emma had insisted on wearing more war paint. No more toys or deals had been exchanged that Regina knew of during the visit, but she had not been granted the details of the session per usual. Emma's complete focus that weekend had been on her upcoming play. It was all her daughter had been talking about and Regina was grateful for the happy distraction it provided Emma.

Finally a few blocks from her destination the car was snailing towards Regina decided to go on foot the rest of the way. If she ran, she just might make it. Her heels made her go slower than she would have liked, but she managed to arrive at the school doors out of breath, but not completely disheveled. She followed the signs to the auditorium hearing voices and music. Regina opened the door and scanned the room. Spotting her sister's signature red hair, Zelena waved her over. The curtain on the stage was fluttering as if about to open. She quickly worked her way to the third row center and took her seat between Mother and Zee who handed her a brochure. "Emma?"

"She's kept asking when you would be here when I was helping her with her costume." Zelena explained and pointed to the far corner of the stage. "And if you wait just a moment…"

Regina followed the pointing finger to the right side of the stage. The curtain fluttered and a little crack appeared. A small hand shot out and waved. Regina smiled and waved back before Emma's hand disappeared behind the red velvet.

"Her costume is adorable Regina." Cora leaned in to comment. "Emma said you made it for her?"

"Not all of it. The tights and leotard we bought, but the skirt and headpiece the school gave us a pattern for. We worked on it over the weekend." While Kathryn had been the sewing talent in the family, Regina was well versed in basic sewing for common mending purposes, a skill her mother insisted on her learning as a kid. She hated it as a young girl and still did, but knew enough to manage the simple costume pattern. For the first time since putting Kathryn's sewing machine in the attic Regina had went up there with Emma to bring it downstairs for their project. It was bitter sweet and Emma full of questions on her Egg Mommy's favorite hobby had taken Regina down a trip on memory lane with her daughter.

Regina's thoughts were brought back to the present as the audience began to hush. The lights dimmed and the curtain opened to reveal a painted back drop of a meadow and sun. Music began and her Emma was right there in the middle of a field of other kids dressed all in green save for a yellow crown of petals that went on her head. A beaming smile framed by golden curls and Emma looked every bit like the dancing daffodil she was playing at being. Proud Mama, Regina sat up with a bright smile of her own as Zee took pictures and Mother filmed the whole thing on a cell phone. Half the five year olds gave way to silliness part way through the play, but got back on track with each new song. Between each song a different student got a chance to recite a small poem they wrote and the last poem slot had been given to Emma. They had practiced it several times until Emma could recite it backwards and forwards and her little one didn't disappoint, getting every word perfectly as the audience erupted in applause.

Zelena made a proud spectacle of herself turning to every available person in their vicinity saying, "That's my niece; the next poet laureate."

Afterwards families convened in the gym for refreshments and to reunite with their children. Regina and Emma had made a cheese cake to bring much to her daughter's delight. Emma ran right over and into her arms as Regina bent to scoop her up and cover her face with kisses. "Oh my baby."

"Did you see me Mama? I did it!"

"I saw everything little duck. You were wonderful." Regina praised with a kiss as Emma wiggled excitedly in her arms and Regina passed Emma off to her Mother and Zee just as the last person she ever expected to see making an appearance across the gym—and was heading right for them. Regina excused herself and met the menace half way. She put herself right in his path, eyeing the bundle of flowers he had in his hand then settling on the crooked grin on Gold's face. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same of you. Last time I checked you had a mountain of paperwork to get through dearie." He didn't bother hiding his skeptical tone. "I take it you are ready to present your findings to the board in the morning?"

"As always." Regina lifted her chin, squaring her jaw. "But seriously. What are you doing here?"

"To see Emma in her play. I was invited, same as you." Gold gave a condescending laugh.

Regina crossed her arms, pursing her lips in disbelief. "By who?"

"Ah, there she is."

Emma came to lean heavily against her hip and Regina automatically rested her hand on Emma's head, ruffling curls with her fingers. That was the only reason she didn't reach across the way and rip the smug smile off Gold's face as the pieces of puzzle of him being here began to click into place. He had wanted her to be late or not come at all. He wanted to play the hero and swoop in with a smile and flowers and she would let him have that pleasure over her dead body.

"You're here?" Emma asked sounding uncertain over the idea.

Gold knelt down and extended a bundle of yellow roses wrapped in a pretty red ribbon. "Of course I am. I wouldn't miss your acting debut for the world."

Regina scoffed, but apparently had done so a bit too loudly for the way Emma reached up to take her hand and for the slow way Emma looked flowers and mumbled a thank you, but Emma did not take them. Her daughter clearly had not been expecting Gold, yet he had known about the play. He had probably coaxed details from an excited Emma during their last visitation. Even for who the flowers were from, Emma deserved to have this moment in the spotlight and so Regina remained quiet as Gold asked Emma a few questions about the play all the while trying to hold back from slapping the fake smile right off his face.

Out of her peripheral vision Regina noticed the way Zee was hovering nearby to give them space and trying to keep Mother entertained, but ready to jump in if needed. And the more bullshit that poured from Gold's mouth and the more her daughter seemed to get sucked up into it, the more upset Regina was becoming. When Emma stepped forward to receive the flowers that were held out again Gold put his arm around little shoulders that shrunk under the touch. Regina saw red. The way Gold was attempting to hold Emma was exactly how he had held Ingrid in that picture from the file; possessively. Regina reached to pull Emma back close to her. "Sweetheart, go see Nona and show her where the treat table is so she may have some of the cake we made."

Emma hugged her flowers unsure of what to do with them. She didn't want them, but knew it was rude to say that so she had just taken them. Now she was wondering over the change of tone in her Mama's voice and looked between the adults. Both their eyes were sharp in a way she thought she might understand. It was how she and Neal had looked at each other before she had tackled him on the playground. Mr. Gold looked like he was getting mad and Mama too and so Emma stepped in front of Mama. Like the Knight had in front of the Queen in the story they read last night. Maybe if she stayed right there the adults wouldn't fight over her. "I wanna stay here. With you." She had to protect her Mama, but her chin was lifted for her efforts.

"It's okay baby." Regina saw clearly what Emma was attempting to do. "Mama needs a few minutes with Mr. Gold though. Go on."

"But—"

"Emma." Regina's head shook, wanting her daughter away from Gold as soon as possible. "Now please."

Emma huffed and slowly made her way to Nona, looking over her shoulder as she went.

With Emma out of ear shot Regina let loose on Gold. "Why are you doing this?" By _this_ she was more than clear she did not mean the play. His cane rapped on the floor in clear annoyance she ignored.

"I have more legal right to her than you ever will." Gold stepped closer, lowering his voice. "Your dearly departed wife signed a contract with the facility. She gave up all of her rights to her potential spawn willingly and I am well within mine to want Emma back where she belongs since my niece is her birth mother. Emma belongs to me."

Dark brows joined over critical eyes. From what Regina knew of Gold's history with Ingrid since talking further with Mother he had controlled everything Ingrid did. When Ingrid had turned 18 she had moved out of state with Emma's birth father. In court Killian Jones had painted the picture of Gold as a kind and doting uncle, but the picture Regina had seen of Ingrid standing next to Gold with his arm around her in Emma's files said that Ingrid was not a happy soul under that claim. That was important in a way Regina was still trying to figure out all the way. Thinking she had something to go on to wipe that smug smile off of his face Regina decided to test her theory. "Ingrid ran from you the first chance she had didn't she." Not a question. A flash of something hot and sinister crossed Gold's eyes and Regina knew she was correct. "Did she not play by your rules? Was she interested in making a life for herself out from under your thumb?"

A dark sneer. "You know nothing about that girl."

"That _girl_ was your niece. Your blood and I think I have a good idea about what happens to people who challenge you." Then going for the throat. "Is that why you and your brother never got along? He was successful in more than just business. I bet that rubbed you all the wrong ways." Mother had said as much in their discussion since the court case and trusting her gut, Regina kept going. "Was Ingrid too much of a reminder of her father? Did she want to go her own way far from you?"

"Do. Not. Ever. Talk about my brother to me."

Gold's finger shot out to poke her in the shoulder and Regina dodged it, taking a quick step to the side. "I know enough to have figured out that everyone you claim to love has run away from you. As far and as fast as they could and whatever you did to Ingrid or even your brother I will not allow you to do the same to Emma." She had no idea all of what those things were, but Gold was pissed in a way she had never seem him. He was hiding something.

"That's where you are wrong, dearie." Gold snapped. "You have no power in this matter at all. I think you will find that the judge's generosity towards our little visitation arrangement is only for the record. The state has the power and the judge speaking for the state just happens to owe me a favor."

Regina's fists clenched. Of course he had contacts in the courts. "She's a happy little girl right where she is. I am Emma's mother and she—"

"No. You are temporary, a place holder in the bigger scheme of things you know nothing about. Your clear lack of self preservation aside: if you think for one moment that regardless of the judge's deal with me that he will side with you, a grieving depressed widow over Emma's lawful next of kin you are _gravely_ mistaken. Just like my brother and just like your father were mistaken. Clearly your delicate sensibility has been broken by Kathryn's death." Gold baited as he stuck his hand in his pocket, tone considerably calmer as he continued. "I just want to get to know Emma."

"Don't you dare say her name." Cheeks reddening under insult Regina took a step closer her temper rising. "Emma's a little girl who deserves love, a home, and family of which you are incapable of giving her so tell me what the hell could you possibly want with Emma?"

A mocking tease came from Gold's mouth hidden within forced gentility. "She invited me to her play and wants me here. That clearly bothers you."

"You manipulated an invite out of her." Not getting anywhere and more than worked up Regina took a deep breath to try and remain calm. He knew exactly how to get under her skin. "You need to leave. Now."

"This is a public venue Ms. Mills and I have just as much right to be here as you to support Emma."

"You are doing nothing of the kind. The flowers. The storybook. This fake concern. None of that is going to do you any favors with Emma. Whatever game you are playing only has one outcome and I will be damned if I let you hurt my daughter."

"I don't believe I am the one hurting her." Gold played at innocent. "I simply want what is best for her. To get to know her as is within my court appointed rights to do so."

"If you so much as cause one more tear on her cheek—"

"Are you threatening me Ms. Mills?"

"I don't make threats Gold." Regina's sharp eyes went right between his. "I make promises I keep. If you dare hurt her I will tear y—" Then Regina felt her sister's hands on both of her arms, drawing her back and an even sharper whisper in her ear.

"What the blazing fuck do you think you are doing!?" Zelena whispered sharply, looking between Gold and her irate sister.

Regina was about to inform Zee exactly what she was doing when she saw Gold pull out a sleek black phone from his pocket. He held it up, making a show of pressing the red end button on the device. Regina paled in realization that he had been recording their conversation. Her jaw dropped and then closed as he turned and left, clearly having gotten what he had come for.

"Losing your temper and threatening him—GiGi this is not good."

Regina whirled on her sister. "He wanted Ingrid."

"What are you going off about?"

"Zee, he wants Emma like he wanted Ingrid. It's what he _didn't_ say. There's something he's hiding about her, about his brother too. He did something."

"Who is hiding what now?" Cora slipped into the conversation, nodding to Emma playing with some kids from her class across the gym when her daughters looked about for their little one. "Emma's fine. You were saying?"

Regina filled her mother in and Zee about the conversation with Gold, her theory about Ingrid and by the end of it her mother's mouth set in a grim line, eyes steel daggers. Cora promptly handed over her empty desert plate to Zelena and adjusted her purse on her shoulder.

"Seems like I have some late night filing to do back at my office."

The sister's looked at each other confused and then back to their mother. _"What?"_ They asked in unison.

Cora only gave her signature feline grin as if she had just caught a rat to smother. "Robert's brother Jeffery was a good friend your father's. Many years ago for a short time Jeffery worked for our company before he passed. If there is anything to be gained as leverage in your case against Gold I would bet everything I own on it being in your father's or Jeffery's business records or notes around the time of Jeffery's death. If there is any alignment I will find it. You girls focus on this mess with the recording and Emma." Her teeth flashed. "Leave the dirt on Robert to me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - Until next time…
> 
> Next time: The Judge makes a new decree. A breakthrough happens after a session with Dr. Hopper. Gold gets a run for his money—Emma Swan style. Cora digs. Regina discovers a secret of Gold's that could be a game changer.


	13. Little Knight

**::::::::::::::::::::::::**

**Ch. 13 – Little Knight**

**::::::::::::::::::::::::**

They had been called back to court as soon as Thursday morning; further proof in Regina’s mind of Gold’s influence with the Judge. The audio recording of Regina was brought to the Judge’s attention by Killian Jones and a new request made for a less restrictive visitation environment had been made. All of Gold’s insults had never made the recording and listening to it made it sound as if Regina had been attacking him in a public place where he had been ‘invited’ by Emma. In New York State it is considered lawful for the recording to have taken place since Gold was a consenting party to the conversation and a party to it. There had also been a witness, a weasel of his hiding in the crowd at the gym who signed an affidavit baring witness to the conversation exactly as it had been on the recording.

Regina was upset with herself for losing her temper and more than angry at Gold’s manipulation. Even after the context of the audio file had been explained by Zelena, the judge had called in Emma’s social worker to give a briefing on the visits made so far. Jenine kept it factual rather than observational and Regina was grateful for that.

Killian’s pitch on Gold’s behalf stressed the importance of him being able to spend time with his niece and that Regina’s adamant dislike for him, in front of Emma, was a road block to that developing relationship. He further stressed the need for Gold to be able to bond with Emma and an hour visit was simply not enough time. That Gold also wanted to show Emma where her birth mother grew up. The whole thing was nauseating to watch.

Zelena drew on Jenine’s experience with Emma, Dr. Hopper’s therapy session summaries of progress Emma was making under Regina’s care, and their mother’s letter. For every claim Killian had Zelena skillfully refuted each and every one. For a moment when the Judge was reading over the statements and her sister took her hand under the table Regina thought everything might just go their way. The Judge looked up and between their table and Gold’s before he started to speak. To Regina’s horror the visitation schedule was adjusted to move the Friday visit with Gold at the center to a Saturday afternoon at Gold’s home instead.

Unsupervised.

Zelena objected.

Regina paled.

Gold smirked.

The gavel banged in ruling to reconvene at the end of the month as scheduled for next steps. And all Regina could think about was the way green eyes would fill when she had to tell her little duck this news.

 

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

 

Regina had stayed late at the court house with Zelena working to look for a loophole in the Judge’s ruling or a way to overturn it without any luck. Feeling defeated and hoping her Mother was more successful than them Regina left court in time to pick up Emma from school and take her to a therapy session with Dr. Hopper. Emma was her usual chatty self up until it was time to go in for her session. Regina gave her daughter a reassuring hug and kiss before watching Emma follow Dr. Hopper down the hallway.

She sat in the waiting room trying to figure out a way to explain the turn of events to Emma. A half hour into her thoughts and several texts to her mother later for an update with no answer, Regina looked over sharply to the door leading to Dr. Hopper’s office when it burst open. Emma came running into the waiting room and right into her arms. Regina scooped up the crying little girl into her arms as she stood abruptly. Brows knit in more than concern as she eyed Dr. Hopper across the room.

Archie started to shake his head as he always did when he was not supposed to share about the session and then reconsidered for the near breaking look on Regina’s face. Against policy, but going with his heart he scribbled a quick note on his notepad and held it up for Regina to read.

 

_She talked about it._

 

Vague to anyone else but Regina, she knew instantly what ‘it’ was and only held her daughter closer, kissing a temple with a nod to Hopper that she understood. She rubbed Emma’s back soothingly, holding her daughter closer. Regina’s fingers gently brushed over the burn scar on Emma’s forearm. Archie gave them a sad tight smile and nodded once before turning back to his office. Regina quickly signed them out while continuing to pacify Emma who had began to quiet in her arms. The ride home was full of sniffles but her daughter was otherwise not engaging in anything. Emma’s eyes remained closed and face buried in Regina’s shoulder.

At home Regina ordered in Emma’s favorite dinner, but even that did not get a smile like it usually did. Emma was clingy, quiet and refused to talk. Regina didn’t make her either. She simply provided the contact and quiet her daughter needed. She kept to their routine, which seemed to bring Emma some predictable comfort. After a bath and a few fairy tales from the new storybook Emma adored, Regina laid with her little duck until Emma was well into dreams. Regina carefully pulled away and tucked the baby blanket around Emma more snuggly before she quietly left the room, door cracked to the hall. She went to her study, poured cider into a low ball crystal glass and tried to call her mother again. No answer. Regina left a voice mail. Mind full and with nothing she could further do on the case she opened her laptop and tried to get through some e-mail. A few hours later while she was neck deep in the board’s meeting minute notes Regina heard a scream from the floor above.

Bolting out of her chair, Regina hurried upstairs to the third floor and right into Emma’s room. Little one was sitting upright in the middle of the bed, one hand clutching the blanket with Lucky Swan up tight under an arm and one grabby hand reaching for her. Tears streamed over a wide open mouth as Emma wept.

“Mama! She—she—It hurts!” Emma cried as she was picked up and tucked up onto her Mama’s hip. She wrapped her legs tight around a waist and buried her face into dark hair as she always did when she was afraid. She inhaled through her stuffy nose, catching just a hint of the special perfume Mama always wore. It smelled of home, Mama, and Kathryn. Emma was safe. Here with Mama and not stuck in the dream in her head.

“What hurts Emma?” Beginning to walk back and forth while gently swaying Regina moved in a fashion she knew Emma found soothing. Emma cried louder into her neck for just a moment before pulling back and pointing to her forearm. Regina used her free hand to move the end of Emma’s sleeve up to reveal the scar long healed. She dipped her head to kiss the phantom pain still very real in her little girl’s head. Emma began to quiet after she did so, green eyes becoming less haunted and more present, but Emma still whimpered. Regina shifted Emma in her arms and realized the other why for Emma’s upset. With another knowing kiss to Emma’s temple Regina began to hum gently.

Moving to the bathroom Regina wet a cloth and then began to wipe the child’s pink puckered face free of tears. Quietly and without speaking on it as Emma didn’t like to do she helped her little one get cleaned up and into a new pair of Good Nites. Hand in hand a few minutes later they went back to Emma’s room. Regina sat down on the bed with Emma sideways on her lap. “Do you want to tell Mama about your dream?” Emma bit her lip, and for a moment Regina didn’t think Emma would or was ready yet. But ready or not the details of how Emma had gotten her scar began to tumble out and in more detail than it had that afternoon with Dr. Hopper it seemed.

Emma began by saying she had broken a dish. That’s when the yelling had started. Then Emma had been yelling from the heat of the stove top biting her arm ouchie hot. Foster number 5 made her promise not to tell. To say it was an accident. But Emma had fallen asleep on the floor by then. Red and blue lights shined in her eyes later when she had woken up some. A fireman had been carrying her and Emma had started screaming before someone poked her other arm with something sharp and she had went to sleep again. When she had woken up another time a lady in white was right by her side. Emma had been in a cold big bed with beeping machines nearby. That lady asked a lot of questions and so had the cops that had come to talk to her too. Emma said it was an accident and that was all she had said. Emma had a lot of accidents in that house.

But Emma knew now it was not an accident. Mama had taught her what accidents were and were not. The Cricket too said the same thing and her Auntie Zee whenever Emma had made small mistakes. Those were never a big deal to these adults and at first Emma did not understand why. So in the early months with her Mama she began asking. Emma had not meant to tell the big super secret in her session today. She had dropped a marker on the rug in the Cricket’s office. It left a red dot on the carpet. He had said it was okay when Emma had said _sorry-sorry-sorry_. That dropping the marker was an accident. Emma yelled back at him that _not all accidents were okay_. Then some of what happened with foster number 5 came out, but all of it came out now and she gave all of that memory and fear to her Mama to hold. Mama was magic like that. Mama would make it all go away. That’s just what Mama did.

When she was done talking Emma felt empty; of words, of tears and her fear over something bad happening. She had told and no big boom happened. No one rang the doorbell to take her away. No social worker knocked on the door. So Emma snuggled up tight against her Mama as her back was rubbed. She felt something wet dripping on the back of her neck were Mama was kissing her and whispering in her ear that she was safe. Emma was safe and sound in Mama’s arms.

Emma decided then and there she was going to do whatever she could to stay right here forever in these arms. Adults didn’t always know best. The judge didn’t seem to. Not all adults were nice or told the truth either. Mr. Gold was one of those adults. She had been polite to him so far ‘cause that’s what she was supposed to do. If he wanted to adopt her and take her from Mama he was a bad, bad man. His pinched face and fake smile reminded her of the bad man who had tricked the princess out of her child in a story from her special book. His name was _Rumple something_. Emma decided on a plan as she hugged her Mama tighter for the next time she saw Mr. Gold at the center. It was time for Operation No More Miss Nice Girl.

Mr. Gold was going down—Emma style.

 

**:::::::::::::::**

 

In spite of reminding herself about her game plan today and changing it for the bad news she had gotten, Emma kicked the car seat in front of her again in frustration. Or tried too. Mama caught her foot but didn’t scold her. Instead her arm was rubbed and she got a kiss on her cheek as if her upset was understood. They had spent time on Friday after school talking about this visit and why it went from being at Dr. Hopper’s office in the playroom to Mr. Gold’s place. Emma had thrown a fit over the idea and then cried and then just listened to why it had to be so for a few weeks. The only thing that made this idea better was that Emma was going to get to tell the Judge at the next hearing just how she felt about this whole dumb thing. That and Mama’s promise to have the rest of the weekend doing just what Emma wanted to do. That was easy to come up with; time with her Mama’s full attention playing games, going to the park, and watching movies had been planned.

But it still sucked.

Emma huffed as the car stopped and Charming opened the back door for them. With another huff she got out after Mama. Emma held Lucky Swan and her Mama’s hand as they walked into the building where Mr. Gold lived. She looked up into the shiny side of it covered in windows and squinted against the sun. It hurt her eyes and made her tummy hurt even more going inside it even though she was wearing her war paint again. Emma let her Mama press the elevator buttons. She didn’t want to be helpful today. Saturday was supposed to be their day and because the Judge decided so she had to spend part of it with Mr. Gold instead of Friday for only an hour. Mama said it was only for an afternoon, but those had a lot of hours in it. Mama had gotten her a Disney villain watch and said when it was four o’clock it would be time to come home. The watch said one where it mattered and four was a long ways from one.

When they got off the elevator Mr. Gold was waiting for them. Emma scowled at him when he smiled at her and ducked her chin to her chest as the adults talked. She mostly ignored them pouting over having to stay here with him until Mama squeezed her hand and knelt down. Mama reminded her about four o’clock and hugged her extra good and long. Brown eyes were wet again like they had been all day, but Mama smiled at her anyway and for that Emma tried to smile back.

Mr. Gold tried to take Emma’s hand, but she side stepped him and took up her backpack instead Mama had packed extra special just for her with her favorite snacks and toys. She watched Mama disappear in the elevator and tried not to let her upset show on her face. Instead she watched Mr. Gold watching her.

“What would you like to do today?” Mr. Gold asked.

Finally alone with him, Emma sized him up. Mr. Gold continued to play at being her ‘uncle’. However, it was clear to Emma he had no idea what to do with a five year old for three hours. A slow smile grew on her face. Yep. She could take him. Game on. Emma shrugged and crossed her arms.

“You are wearing those lines on your face again.” He seemed to be thinking. “Why is that?”

Emma remained quiet over the comment of her war paint. He had asked the same thing during each of her visits. Silly grown up. He clearly didn’t know the rules about magic. If she were to tell what her war paint was for then the magic would not work. Mama was a special grown up though. Auntie Zee, too. Both of them weren’t silly like that and knew the rules of magic. Emma’s chin lifted under lips that tightened.

Gold frowned, and seemed to Emma to be thinking about her as she was thinking about him. She knew stuff he didn’t and Emma could tell that bothered him. He mumbled something about a _Jeffery_ and her being _too much like Ingrid_. Emma frowned back up at him and for just a moment took a small step backwards under his look while she hugged herself across the stomach.

The man suddenly smiled as if he may have figured something out. “Are you hungry, dearie?”

“Nope.”

His frown returned and deepened. “Thirsty then?”

“Nope!” Emma said even more firmly as she began to tap her foot in annoyance over his questions. She was thirsty, but would take nothing from him. Not when Mama had already hooked her up with her favorite snacks in her backpack. Mama thought of everything.

“How about you watch some TV. Regina said you liked Disney. I have that channel.”

“ _Mama_ said.” Emma corrected and pointed to her backpack. “I have my own movies I wanna watch.” He was doing that ‘pretending to be interested in the things she was’ thing again. Kids can tell when adults do that. Why they thought otherwise Emma didn’t know. It was like when they had a substitute at school. Those people pretended to know what to do in her real teacher’s absence, but they really were just pretending and often got lost just trying to find the cafeteria when taking the class to lunch. In those cases she tried to be nice and help them. But she would not help Mr. Gold. _‘Yep. Mr. Gold is a dummy,’_ Emma thought to herself and when he turned his back she rolled her eyes at him and stuck out her tongue.

Emma followed him deeper into his home not wanting to be left alone in the entry way when she did not have a clear layout of this place and any possible hiding places. Like her Nona he lived on the top floor of the building, but unlike her Nona’s place this held no warmth or family pictures. There were funny statues of naked people and shiny things everywhere something could be set. Paintings with people wearing weird old clothes lined the walls where there were not windows. He had too much stuff Emma decided. She trailed him into a room with a big couch and an even bigger TV, noting the bathroom and another hallway leading off somewhere as they passed.

At least if she watched a movie time would go quicker and she wouldn’t have to talk to his face. Emma gave him one of the DVDs from her bag as she sat on the carpet behind him. As Mr. Gold turned his back to mess with the TV, Emma pulled out one of the juice boxes that Mama packed her. Sucking half of it down, she sacrificed the rest by setting it on the rug in front of her. She smiled and waited.

When the movie started Mr. Gold turned around and stepped right on her juice box effectively smashing it into the white rug. A grape splat sound like a squashed bug made Emma’s eyes grow large and she giggled when his face turned purple to match. Emma covered her mouth with her hand and burst out laughing as he muttered something about a cleaning lady and steaming a rug. He left the room. Emma started to follow, but he told her to stay and watch the TV. That was just fine with her.

A while later he came back. Emma glanced at him standing in the doorway over her shoulder and then ignored him for the TV. She pretended to watch, but was listening for him. A phone rang and she heard him answer as he left her alone again. Needing to pee Emma got up and went to the bathroom. Bored and done exploring all the cabinets in the bathroom and decorating it with the rolls of toilet paper she had found stashed under the sink she decided to explore. She stuffed the cardboard tubes from the rolls in the toilet and flushed until it could not flush anymore. Water spilled over onto the floor. Toothpaste made great finger paint on the mirror for an extra special message Emma had just for Mr. Gold. She smeared paste all over the mirror and drew her best circle with her finger, adding smaller ones for eyes and a tongue sticking out of a mouth. After cleaning her hands on the fluffy black towels Emma hopped down from the counter and paused to listen as she picked back up her swan stuffie.

Mr. Gold’s voice carried down the hallway from the living room and Emma promptly went in the opposite direction further down the hall. TV was only fun for so long and she wanted to draw some pictures. Mama only packed her coloring books though. Emma wondered if Mr. Gold had any paper. She popped her head around a doorway to what seemed like an office. It had a desk and lots of books and looked boring like her Mama’s used to. Used to before Mama made a special corner in it just for her. At home she had a little table and chair in Mama’s study just her size and that’s where she could play and do art while Mama did adult stuff.

Hugging Lucky Swan tighter, Emma went right to Mr. Gold’s desk and climbed up on the spin-ny chair. She made a game of spinning in circles for a minute before getting too dizzy and remembering why she was in there to begin with. There were piles of files stacked on top of the desk. They all looked the same and she wondered why there were so many of the same ones. Opening one she took the first few sheets of typed pages, planning on drawing on the back of them. Emma folded them and put them in the bib of her red overalls Mama had gotten her a few sets of in different colors. Prize tucked away she darted out of the room and back down the hall towards the TV room. Emma rounded a corner and slammed right into Mr. Gold.

“Ow!” Emma fell back on her butt and looked up accusingly at the man with hard knees. But before she could tell him that he was right down at her level and gripping her arm in a way that made her breath catch tight in her throat. It didn’t hurt, but it startled her.

“What were you doing running down the hall?” Mr. Gold asked.

Emma scowled. His face was pinched like he might have to go to the bathroom really bad but was holding it. “Nothing.”

“You need to be more careful. We don’t need you getting hurt do we?”

Emma was pulled up to her feet, but Mr. Gold did not let her go even when she tried to pull her arm away. “Let go.”

“I will when you tell me what you were doing wandering about.” His eyes narrowed when she took too long to answer. “What were you up to?”

“I had to go to the bathroom and I didn’t wanna miss my show.” Emma yanked back again and he let her go, straightening up to his full height. She knew enough that he probably wouldn’t like that she had taken some of his papers to draw on. But what he didn’t know was not her problem. Adults didn’t like to share their stuff that way even though they said it was nice to share her toys with other kids. Emma didn’t understand why sharing was different for kids.

Gold looked at her for a long time, and gave another fake smile Emma wanted to kick off his face. He gestured to the entertainment room. “Best go on and watch it then. In fact I’ll join you.”

Her exploring trip clearly over Emma huffed and shuffled back to where her movie was playing. She sat back on the floor criss-cross applesauce, hunched over as she pulled out the contents of her backpack to spread out. Carefully she snuck the papers she had in her overalls out and smoothed them into the cover crease of her special white storybook Mama had also packed for her. She liked that it belonged to her Tummy Mommy. They would be safe there like she had been safe inside Ingrid until she had been born. Looking over her shoulder Mr. Gold was staring at his phone and Emma breathed a sigh of relief as she began to draw a picture on the back of one stolen paper for her Mama.

 

**::::::::::::::::::**

 

Regina sat in the car on pins and needles glancing at the time on her apple watch as she read over the latest client contract. Distracting herself had been pointless however. Her mind was only on Emma and she had read the same paragraph too many times to count. David sat in the front reading the newspaper while giving her the occasional kind eye in the rear view mirror. It was clear he understood and shared her angst over leaving Emma with Gold. They had arrived a half hour early to pick up Emma and were waiting down the block. Regina planned on knocking on Gold’s door the moment the clock struck 4:00 to bring her daughter home. Finally it was nearing time and Regina nodded for David to pull up the street. The moment he parked Regina was opening her car door, not even bothering to wait for him to open the door as she usually did.

The elevator would not move fast enough, but Regina’s heart certainly was. Especially for how upset her daughter had been to have to be here in the first place. It seems both she and Emma had the same idea about meeting at the door, for the moment she stepped off the elevator Gold’s front door opened and Emma’s head popped out. Her little duck’s lip was stuck between bottom teeth as those seeking green eyes scanned the hallway. The moment they locked on hers, Emma threw open the door and ran right for her, backpack and Lucky Swan in tow. Emma slammed into her at full speed, but Regina was more than ready to scoop her daughter up into her arms. Kissing Emma’s cheek, skinny arms wrapped tight around her neck and legs around her waist. She could feel the housed tension in Emma’s body draining away for relief.

A throat cleared in the distance; Gold. Regina rolled her eyes inwardly and promptly ignored him to greet her daughter and give Emma her best reassuring smile. She whispered as their noses touched. “Hello my baby. Ready to go home?”

“I was ready before we gots here Mama.” Emma whispered right back before hiding in dark hair again.

Regina merely looked at Gold. In the one moment she did the scowl he gave in return was more than telling. His face was beet red and he held himself up against the door way as if in pain. This visit had not gone as he’d planned and she was sure Emma would tell her all about why. That only had Regina giving him her best Evil Queen look in return. The one that made the interns want to pee themselves and her most capable senior employee’s scatter in her wake. One of his eyes flinched. Had Regina blinked she would have missed it, but on such as controlled and precise man such as Gold it was as if a bull horn had finally busted his eardrum; for the first time in this whole thing he was worried about something. Regina said nothing to him as she turned sharply on her heel and carried her daughter to the waiting car that would take them home.

In the safety of the elevator Emma sat back in her arms and giggled. “I gave him a run for his money Mama.”

A dark brow rose over the adult reference thinking her sister must have been teaching Emma about expressions again. Regina grinned over the idea, loving just how close Zelena and Emma had become and the idea of their children growing up together. Though this expression Emma had used in the right context unlike some other ones. “Oh? Is that why his face was red?”

“No. I was playing with my big bouncy ball Aunt ZeeZee got me that lights up pretty and he wanted to see it so I threw it at him.” Emma explained as her smile grew. “He can’t catch good Mama.”

Regina chuckled as she imagined just how Gold had caught that ball. It was a hard rubber one the size of a fist. Emma had a talent for throwing low. The image of Gold doubled over in pain from a missed catch made her grin. _‘Serves him right.’_ Regina had on more than one occasion wanted to bring him to his knees.

“He stepped on my juice box too.” Emma began to tell all about her visit. How boring he was and how all she did was watch TV while he was on his phone. “And I made his bathroom pretty.” She ended rather proudly.

The simple statement was enough information for the picture that came to Regina’s mind on just what kind of disaster zone Gold had or would walk into. “I am sure you did a perfect job too.” That comment made Emma beam and Regina again chuckled, absolutely set on not chiding for what was clearly Emma’s idea of an afternoon full of pranks.

When Emma had first come to her, the bathroom and having one of her very own held its own fascination. One afternoon when Emma was supposed to be napping and Regina was occupied with Zelena downstairs Emma had decided to decorate her bathroom; creatively turning the tub into a beach by dumping her kinetic sand kit inside, making a castle and adding Goldfish crackers to the sink complete with water. The toilet became a port for Emma’s toy boats and the floor of the bathroom had been covered in towels for tanning under the ‘sun’, which Emma claimed was the light fixture overhead.

They had a long talk about decorating after that, but in a way that only brought them closer. The mess had taken hours to clean up, but it had been a wonderful bonding time with Emma. Regina learned more about her daughter’s likes and understandings of the world she lived in. Since then Regina, with Emma’s amusing direction and commentary, had decorated that bathroom into the bottom of the ocean. They had painted a mural of the sea on one of the walls and with creamy yellow rugs and Disney Nemo accents it looked like the real thing.

“Mama?”

Emma’s question stirred her from memory as Regina walked them out into the sunlight towards the car, child wiggling in her arms. “Yes, baby?”

“I drew you something.” Emma said as she waved to Charming. Once she was buckled into her car seat she unzipped her backpack and proudly handed over the drawing she had tucked into her storybook. As Mama looked she pointed out all the people and the house in the background.

Regina looked at the colored blobs and four rough stick figures with red, yellow, and brown hair Emma described as her family. On the red head Emma had drawn a circle around the middle, claiming that to be her baby cousin to be. “I love it little duck.” She turned over the paper, brow knitting over the typed page there. Turning it upright, Regina recognized it as one of the financial spreadsheets she had given Gold last quarter. She had worked on this particular one for weeks and knew it well, but this one seemed wrong in some way and she mentally began to calculate the sums and deficits.

Emma watched her Mama look at the printed side of the paper and sat back in her car seat wondering if she had done something wrong. Mama had told her there was special paper for drawing and papers with something already on it were not to be used for that. She had learned that when she had borrowed some from Mama’s desk, but they had talked and it was not a big deal. Mama also got her special drawing paper that was all hers. But Mr. Gold had none of that in his office. And in the moment, even if he had, Emma wouldn’t have cared. But right now she cared what her Mama thought very much.

In the growing quiet within the car Regina looked over at her daughter, sensing the unease there and promptly took up Emma’s hand and squeezed. “Did Mr. Gold give you this paper or did you borrow it without him knowing.” That answer was crucial for what she might be holding in her hand.

“He didn’t have any drawing papers Mama.” Emma whined, thinking she was in trouble.

“Mama is not upset with you sweetheart. Not at all.” Turning to better see her daughter. Regina shook her head. “It’s important that I know is all.” Emma relaxed as the exploring adventure and running into Mr. Gold’s hard knees was explained. Regina saw red when Emma said he had grabbed her, immediately dropping the paper to her lap and rolling up Emma’s sleeves to check her arms. No marks. Emma assured it had not hurt; just scared her. That only somewhat pacified Regina’s upset. She’d be making a call to Jenine first thing in the morning over the matter.

Assured Emma was okay for the moment she gave into Emma’s request to listen to her i-pod. She set the little girl up with the device. As Emma hummed along adorably off key to a Disney sing-a-long Regina looked at the paper in her lap again. She needed to cross check it against her own records at home, but if her hunch was right she had a ticking bomb with Gold’s name on it right in her hand.

At home she put the paper safely in her office to reference later and she focused on spending the evening with Emma. The cooked together. Emma made a beautiful mess of rolling meatballs for the spaghetti they had decided on. After dinner and several rounds of Candyland, in which Regina lost several, they both curled up to watch a movie. Half way through _Annie_ , Emma was out cold. She carefully carried Emma up to the yellow room. With Lucky Swan and Emma’s blanket, Regina slipped the child between the sheets with the seasoned ease of a parent who knew just how to move like a ninja least they wake their little one.

After tucking her daughter in and completing her own night time routine Regina retrieved the drawing and spent the next hour going through her files. Finding the one she needed and cross checking her notes and figures Regina found the discrepancy. It was a small difference in sum by a wealthy person’s standards, but for how the sum had been duplicated across the entire quarter within different accounts was exponential. And that was not the main issue. There was a different accounting number on Gold’s sheet than on hers. Proof of what she suspected; embezzlement. Except Regina had no way to prove the paper in her hand came from Gold save Emma’s misadventure into his office. She needed more proof. Sighing she set the paper on her desk deciding to connect with her Mother and see if any other dirt had turned up. Regina suspected Mother’s lack of contact meant that she was neck deep in her own files digging.

Regina rubbed her face briskly deciding to call it a night. After checking the front door was locked again she tucked into bed and decided to write a little more in her journal about the frustrations of the day. The more she did it the more she was slowly growing to appreciate the closure to the day it brought. As if opening the faucet of her busy mind and allowing the stream of conscious from the day to flow out of her hand to be let go of within the container of the blank pages. Peaceful. And Regina wondered if this how it had made Kathryn feel.

A shuffling by the door brought her eyes up from the page. Emma’s fist rubbed at an eye as a yawn so big nearly ripped that little pink mouth in two. Emma bounded over and climbed up as she moved the journal out of the way to hold her baby. Regina kissed the top of a blonde bed head and rested her chin there gently as Emma claimed her lap.

“What are you doing Mama?”

“Some writing.”

Emma’s brows joined as she eyed the notebook on the nightstand. “For work?”

A throat cleared and raw honesty answered. “I was actually just about to try to write to Kathryn.” Again and without much success. Regina sighed.

Curious, Emma sat up and looked at her Mama. “Does she write back?” Thinking maybe this was a magic journal of some kind. She was adjusted so she was sitting facing Mama and her hands were held.

“No. But sometimes if I listen really hard I imagine how she might respond.” If she could actually get anything on paper that was anywhere near coherent, Regina thought to herself. Then she better thought of how to explain what she was feeling to Emma. “Remember how you said you like to think she is watching over us both?” Regina asked and getting a nod she continued. “I like to think she is helping us as much as she can to make sure we are alright too.” She had never voiced belief in that idea out loud. Regina had never been one to believe in a divine force or angels, as Emma seemed to, for that matter. But like most things she thought she knew, since having Emma in her life, Regina was not so sure on some of them anymore. Emma expanded her thinking that way.

“You miss her.”

“Mama misses her so much Emma and sometimes Mama has a hard time dealing with that.” A glance at the notebook and then Regina looked back to her daughter’s eyes again. Kathryn’s eyes. “I am trying to tell her that and ask about the things I do not understand.” Trying being the keyword. Regina had not gotten further than the first sentence into her letter some nights ago. But the idea behind what she was trying to do is what Regina held on to right now when Emma’s head tilted. It was a start. “That helps me to feel better and safe.”

Another yawn as green eyes blinked sleepily. “She’s an angel. Angels are kinda like knights... Like in my storybook. They protect people.” Mama lifted her up and under the covers. Emma lay down and Mama did too. This was a favorite of hers; this quiet cuddle time when the world was asleep. Thinking further on what was said and that she understood, Emma asked just to be sure. “Was Mommy your knight?”

At the ease of referencing Kathryn as all these affections Regina’s heart fluttered. She dimmed the lamp. Within the darkness her eyes misted and so she drew the light that was Emma closer. “She was.”

_Maybe she still is_ , Regina thought.

“Now I’m your knight too.” Emma whispered into dark hair as she snuggled in.

“You are baby.” A tender kiss followed. “My own little Knight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N – I needed some Regina and little Emma cuddle time. Two more chapters to go… Lot’s revealed next chapter and the very last will have the rest of the rest of the answers you’ve been wondering about.
> 
> Next time: Cora and Gold argue. Emma says exactly what she thinks. The sisters make a startling discovery.
> 
> Any guesses?


	14. Will & Testament

**Chapter 14 – Will & Testament**

**:::::::::::::::::::::::::::**

 

Monday morning at the office brought on it's usually busyness. Regina was swamped and saw neither hide nor hair of Gold or her Mother—who was clearly in the building since her office lights were on and purse visible on the desk when Regina had come knocking that morning. She had not seen or spoken to Mother since the play last week. While it was not unusual to go days without doing so, Regina would have thought given the rebuilding of their relationship that Mother would have been in closer contact. Regina tried to trust her gut which said to trust her Mother and let it go for now.

Turning off her computer, Regina moved to stuff a file into her purse to review later tonight and then thought better of it. Taking it out Regina tossed it on the pile on her desk. It could wait. All she wanted to do was go home to Emma. Zelena had picked Emma up after school and they were all supposed to cook dinner together this evening. A glance at the clock said if she left now she would be home right on time. She dimmed her office lights just then remembering to go back to her desk to grab her water bottle. As Regina approached the door again she heard the unmistakable clicking of heels.

Mother's.

Regina was about to open her door to catch Mother on the way out and paused when another set of heavy steps were heard coming down the hallway along with the familiar clack of a cane. Regina froze, as they went into Mother's office. Gold's grumbling and Cora's sharp reply before that heavy door closed forced Regina to keep her presence quiet. Carefully she set down her things and went to their adjoining door to listen. With her office dark and her team gone from their desks for the evening the office must have appeared empty to the two inhabitants on the other side of the door Regina reasoned as she pressed her ear to it. Given any other situation she never would have dared do so, but her gut twisted in the worst way at the idea of anyone alone with Gold, little long anyone she loved. There was a sinister darkness drenching the man and she did not trust him in the least. There was muffled talking and then a voice could be heard clearly.

Gold thundered. "I will not be compared to my brother."

"You are nothing like your brother that much is clear." Cora's tone was like dry ice; a chilling burn. "Do not try and frame him to me as anything other than the loyal and hardworking man he was when he was here. That twist of yours may have worked on everyone else, but Henry clearly saw through that. I believe him."

"You believe what was written in the agenda notes between two dead men and they cannot speak to any of it, can they." Not a question and Regina's lips tightened over the fact as she pressed her ear more firmly against the door.

Papers shuffled and Cora countered. "Jeffery never would have dared to betray Henry and I. I used to think the same about you, but your actions with my daughter and granddaughter say otherwise."

The room was quiet. Then Regina heard a cane tap marble once in obvious annoyance and again in something darker. "Let's discuss another matter Cora. Your daughter is not keeping up her end of our business bargain. I have every right to call in a vote in front of the board to evaluate her contributions per her contract. Are you sure you want to go digging where I have already dug? I have six to your five partners on the board of directors—"

Then Mother's voice cut in sharp as ever for any idiot challenging her. "And I own 34% and with my daughter's share at 33% that makes 67% to your 33%. I allowed you to make that ridiculous deal with her to help create some friendly competition between you two in hope you would be the partner I expected you to be and model the team work needed to bring our departments together. Instead you twisted it into something to hurt my daughter and now my granddaughter." Near shrill, but unwavering. "I will _not_ stand for it."

A dark chuckle. "Stand for it or not. A deal is a deal, dearie. I am well within my rights to request a review of her work and a vote of renewal—"

"As am I on you." Cora deadpanned in clear threat.

"On what grounds?"

Silence.

Then more papers shuffled before Cora asked: "Do you really want to test me?"

A huff and a cane striking marble in haste echoed before a door slammed. Clearly Gold had decided he did not want to test Cora—just yet. Regina waited and strained to hear, it sounded like a drawer was opening, closing and then a thump sounded on the desk. At that Regina tapped lightly on the door making her presence known and opened it as she eased into the room. Mother sat at her desk with a pile of files in front of her, glasses perched on the end of her nose. That face was drawn and tired in a way Regina had never seen before, but also focused and resolute in the task at hand. She got a small tight smile and a nod as she took up the chair opposite her Mother's great desk.

"I was on my way out and I couldn't help but overhear…" Regina began and then gestured to the files unsure about how she felt over what she had heard. "Find anything?"

Cora eyed her daughter for a moment and slipped her glasses off her face to set aside. With softer eyes she asked, "Is that really what you want to say to me first?"

Regina's shoulder's dropped for her first thought. "You defended me."

"As a mother should defend her daughter. I was an idiot with Gold. You saw right through him from the beginning and I let my pride get in the way, just like I did when Henry said the same thing years ago." Cora shook her head and leaned forward. "I'm sorry Regina; for the deal, not hearing you out about the merger. All of it. Can you forgive me?"

What was left of the wall between them began to crumble even more. Regina could forgive her Mother and she realized she already had begun to the day at the park. She nodded as she reached for a file in the pile on the desk. Her hand was caught and taken. Eyes meeting over their joined hands Mother gave hers a quiet squeeze in understanding. They both understood the other and for now, that was enough of a beginning.

Then Cora cleared her throat. "I am suspecting Robert somehow had access to Jeffery's business files back when he was alive and somehow found a way to hack into Jeffery's accounts. That was right around the time Gold began to approach me on the idea of a merger. That was also right before Jeffery died."

Regina's brows knit in thought. "That's too much of a coincidence."

"My thoughts exactly now that I am thinking back on it. I didn't consider a merger way back then because both your Father and I were in mourning of a friend and business partner when he passed so unexpectedly. In going through Jeffery's files I found other notes he had made about Robert. Nothing incriminating unfortunately, but more of Jeffery's thoughts on paper about his brother's interest in the business. I found something more interesting in your Father's agenda book before Jeffery died."

At the mention of Daddy, Regina shifted in her chair. For his minor role in the business it had been exactly that; a minor role. He had the family name; a long standing one in the publishing world, but Mother was the business mind behind it all growing and being as successful as it had. "What did you find?" Regina finally asked.

"An appointment note with Jeffery and a lawyer to discuss a will. I vaguely remember Henry mentioning it to me. But then within the week of that date in Henry's agenda book Jeffery died. Henry and Jeffery were friends. He was very upset about Jeffery's death."

"If you are suspecting that Gold is embezzling money we are on the same train of thought." Regina told about the picture Emma had drawn while at Gold's and where the paper had come from; about the account numbers and figures that did not add up. Mother's face tightened into a pinched look and Regina felt her own doing the same when she said more on her speculations about Ingrid's childhood with Gold. "I think there is more to it than Jeffery giving Ingrid to his brother to raise. Gold clearly hates his brother and I do not get the feeling he even liked his niece." Regina shared, remembering Gold's face in the gym after Emma's play when he had been talking with such distain about Ingrid and his brother. "Ingrid was useful to him in some way though. In a way I suspect he is trying to make Emma."

"I agree there is more to it." Cora sighed and sat back in her chair, thinking. "Without his name on the account papers or a way of proving they came from him that is not enough evidence to prove our speculations or for me to initiate an account investigation into is personal business files." Cora slapped her hand on the desk clearly frustrated and remembering to ask. "How did Emma's visit on Saturday go?" As Regina relayed the comical story about Emma's pranks, Cora smiled. "She is every bit a Mills; fighting back in her own way for what she wants." Her eyes caught the clock on her desk and sighed. "What you have found with the account papers is a good lead though. I have a few more records to go through here my dear and then we can look at next steps. For now you are late for dinner with your daughter."

Regina stood, finally catching the time on her watch and cursing in mind. She'd be late, but the talk with Mother and being one step closer to smashing a Gold bug under their heel would be worth the time in the end.

 

**::::::::::::::::::::::::**

 

Emma sat on her Auntie's lap in the living room trying to listen as a story was read from her special storybook. Auntie was trying to do the voices right, but no one did them as good as Mama. At the reminder of who was missing Emma squirmed and crossed her arms again in a pout. To which got her a kiss on the top of her head as ZeeZee kept reading. It was getting late and Mama had texted Auntie saying she was on her way. Mama was supposed to be here a long time ago. So long ago that they had cooked dinner and it was staying warm in the oven while they waited. Emma tried to be patient, but that was not easy. Nothing was easy right now like it should be. Not Mr. Gold. Not their schedule. Not anything. All she had wanted today was her Mama and Auntie for dinner.

It wasn't fair.

Getting madder and more frustrated by the minute Emma's face turned pink when the familiar sound of a key in the front door came. She wanted Mama to see how upset she was and instead of running to say hello as she always did whenever Auntie watched her Emma stared at the book page as heels clicked on wood in the foyer coming their way.

"Look who is here Monkey."

Her aunt's voice came in her ear as if suddenly everything was all better. But Emma was still mad. Emma gripped the edges on the book cover, holding it up in front of her face to avoid seeing the concern in brown eyes coming her way from the archway where Mama stood. Mama stayed there for a moment looking and then came over to kneel down in front of her. Emma did her best to ignore her for the book. She felt her aunt's hands rubbing her arms and one of her Mama's on her knee.

"Emma, baby. I'm sorry I'm so late."

Mama sounded sorry and for that Emma sucked in her bottom lip. "You promised."

"I know little duck. I came as quickly as I could. Your Nona—"

"You're supposed to keep your promises Mama!" Emma shouted and slid off her aunt's lap, book still in her hands as she tried to step around her Mama. Hands caught her waist and turned her back around when she just wanted to go hide under the covers away from these hot feelings.

"Emma please—"

"No!" Squirming away, Mama let her go and Emma stepped back across the room, hugging the book to her chest as she huffed. Her upset finally poured out. "It's not fair you're late. It's not fair I'm not 'dopted yet! It's not fair I hav'ta go to Mr. Gold's! It's NOT!" With that finality Emma threw the book as hard as she could.

Zelena cringed as she watched the old worn book cover crack against the corner of the coffee table. The spine pulled away from the binding that caused a mess of loose pages to scatter on the floor. How her sister remained patient through the screaming that started she was unsure as Emma began to throw a fit.

She wanted to go to her niece and pick her up, but Regina shook her head. It was clear to her then they were waiting for the tantrum to run it's course. Regina then began to carry on conversation as if the screaming in the background with Emma in a heap on the floor was not happening. Wet mad green eyes looked up at them on occasion as if wondering if they were going to try and stop her. After a few more minutes Emma quieted down to mere sniffles and sat up on the rug, rubbing her eyes. It was then she watched as Regina knelt down to Emma's level, speaking in firm yet tender whispers she could not make out. Her niece nodded to whatever was said and stood up when asked, but fell back from following her sister out of room as the waterworks started again and a little foot stomped. Regina simply picked Emma up then to her hip and left the room.

Zelena sighed. She had a lot to learn about parenting, but with her sister and Emma she was going to learn enough before her own bundle of joy arrived. With a hand fondly on her stomach, Zelena knelt to begin gathering the loose pages of the book. She made a neat pile and then picked up the book. Turning it over in her hands, her eyes narrowed over the torn cover and she sat back on her heels as her fingers worked a rolled paper sticking out from the inside of the book's spine where it had clearly been hidden. Unrolling it, she began to read…

 

: **::::::::::::::::::::**

 

Regina carried her crying daughter up the third floor and into the yellow bedroom. Door closed she went to the bed after plucking several tissues from the box on the nightstand and sat Emma on the end of the bed where she knelt down. Eye level with her daughter she began to dry the tears on those pink cheeks. Emma let her as her breathing began to even out.

Green eyes went back and forth between brown ones and Emma sniffled. "Nothing's fair Mama."

"I can see you feel really strongly about that Emma." Regina validated, wiping the last of the tears away as she lifted a dipping chin. "We talked about this before and I know things do not feel fair to your right now and Mama is sorry for that. I am working hard with your Aunt and Nona to make things fair again and they will be very soon." She felt certain enough to say that at this point. "I am also sorry for being late. I had to talk to your Nona about something very important and it went longer than I expected. I know your upset with me and you can be. How you showed me that by shouting and throwing the book was not an acceptable way of doing so. We talk with words to share our feelings. Do you understand Mama?"

"Yeah." Then a hard and final sniff as Emma's lip stuck out. "But you promised to always come home for dinner with me."

Regina softened at the pout, giving a small smile. "I did and I am right here and ready to eat with you. It is just a little later tonight than we both expected and would have liked isn't it?" At the nod she kissed her daughter's forehead more than understanding about the underlying meaning in Emma's words. "Mama will always come home to you Emma." Regina tapped a little heart. "I'm right here with you always and you are right here with me." Mirroring the tapping on her own heart. Emma came at her then, throwing arms around her neck. Regina held her daughter and kissed her cheek, gently running her hand up and down Emma's back. When she felt Emma was fully calm she pulled back and stood. "How about you go wash your face and hands and we go downstairs for dinner."

"I wanna lay down first Mama." Emma insisted rubbing her eyes again.

It was late for a nap, but sometimes Emma needed a little quiet time resting after a tantrum. "Alright baby. I'll come get you in fifteen minutes and we will try some food then, okay?"

Emma eagerly nodded and Regina tucked her up on the bed with Lucky Swan and her crocheted blanket before descending to the bottom floor. She went back into the living room to find her sister sitting on the couch with the storybook in her lap, pages scattered about on the floor at her feet. Zelena's eyes were wide and she was paler than usual as she mutely held up a paper curling over at the top and bottom. Regina went over to the couch to sit, trying to take the page Zelena held most delicately at the edges, but a head shook telling her no.

"Don't touch it. Just read it."

As Regina did so her brow furrowed as red lips parted, heart quickening. The reason for not getting her finger prints all over it suddenly clear. Regina shuddered. "Zee, if this is real…"

"I know and it looks authentic." Zelena agreed and set it on the coffee table.

There sat Jeffery Gold's last will and testament. In it Ingrid had not been left to Robert Gold to raise. In the place where the guardian's name should be were Henry and Cora Mills. Jeffery had willed Ingrid to her parents upon his death. Regina's mind reeled. The shock and motivation for Gold's possessiveness over Ingrid began to make sense the more she read. Jeffery had willed all his assets to his daughter on her 21st birthday and an annual lump sum of half a million to the guardian until her majority. And any and all assets were to go to the guardian of his daughter if something were to happen to her or assets to Ingrid's children—if she had any.

The accident at the lake Regina was beginning to suspect was not an accident. Emma being left on the side of the road in a basket held nothing magical about it. Someone had tried to cover up something and ditch the evidence. Regina would bet everything that someone was Gold. She felt sick. A greedy man, but not one she had thought capable of murder; until now. Was he really that greedy that he would kill his own brother? Steal guardianship of his niece? Had Ingrid figured him out and fled? Gold must have pursued her. He was not one to let anything he considered his go. Gold had clearly changed or forged his brother's will to get Ingrid—and her fortune. As the dots connected Regina felt even sicker. Her eyes moved to book; to where hope and insurance had been well hidden by a father who thought his daughter may one day be in need of it. Regina reread the inscription on the inside cover:

 

_To Ingrid – My little snowflake._

_If you ever find yourself alone and in need, everything you need from me is between the cover._

_Love,_

_Daddy_

 

Regina tried to speak but her heart caught in her throat at the level to which greed could take over someone. Taking a breath in she tried again. "Didn't Ingrid die before her 21st birthday?"

Zelena nodded.

"And Gold gained his brother's fortune upon her death, yes?"

"I am assuming so and I'm assuming the copy of the will that got Gold that money names him as the guardian of Ingrid not our parents like it says here." Confirming she was on the same thought trail as her sister that a copy of the original will had been altered.

Regina let out a slow and deliberate breath. "That means Emma is the rightful one to inherit. Not Gold."

Nodding Zelena leaned into her sister as she took up a shaking hand. She ran her thumb over the tight knuckles immediately knowing just where her sister's thoughts had gone. That their precious little Emma had been alone as a baby and as a child with a man who had murdered her birth parents. Emma had been left on the side of the road a foundling to be found or rather not.

All of it was horrifying to say the least and so Zelena said the only silver lining in this whole thing. "Once we go to the police Gold will not see sunlight for a very long time." The shaking next to her intensified and a shudder she recognized for what it was came from her sister. As Regina let out a sob as she turned into her sister. They held each other. "And most importantly you will have your daughter. Emma's safe. It's over Regina. It's all over."

 

**:::::::::::::::::::::**

 

"Look what I have!" Zelena's cherry voice rang through the brown stone from the foyer. "One happy little Monkey ready for her after park snack."

Regina's head popped around from the kitchen doorway, a huge grin on her face as she took off a pair of oven mitts. Emma ran towards her and Regina caught her daughter under the arms to lift up to her hip. She kissed a cheek hello as Emma snuggled into her. Zelena had taken Emma to Central Park for the morning and Regina used some of that time to finish up shopping for the surprise baby shower she was planning for her sister in the coming month.

"Mama what smells so good?" Emma asked wiggling in her Mama's arms as her nose wrinkled sweetly.

Regina chuckled. "That is your favorite cheesecake cooling in the fridge for after dinner."

"Not snack?" Trying for dessert first like always Emma asked as she was set down on her feet.

"For your snack I have some apples and peanut butter ready for you in the living room. Lucky Swan and your blanket are there too with cartoons already on. How does that sound?" A little grin beamed up at her before Emma darted off toward the living room. Regina then gestured to the tea cooling on the island counter. "I made your some ginger and lemon tea."

"Thanks. The baby thanks you too." Zelena said as she sat down. Her stomach rolled. "I think." Taking a delicate sip, she began to relax as Regina joined her.

"I bet you will be thrilled when the morning sickness phase is over."

Nodding with a grimace Zelena cocked her head in wonder. "When is that supposed to happen again?"

"From what I've been reading, after the first trimester." Regina had bought a few books and was helping Zelena along through the stages that came with pregnancy. In many ways this is what she had always wanted to be able to do with Kathryn in having their own children from the very beginning. Getting to do some of these things alongside her sister was incredibly satisfying and Regina took nothing about the experience for granted. Emma was also excited to meet her cousin and helpful in her own sweet way.

"Ugh." With a groan Zelena set down her tea and whined, sounding very much like her niece whenever Emma was upset over something deemed unfair. "But that's over a month away." Her stomach rolled as if to say _'so there.'_ She rubbed it affectionately. "Hey you in there. You hear that my poppet? You get one more month of this nonsense and that's it. The book says so."

Regina snorted over her sister's scolding of her stomach. Then she drew the newspaper on the counter closer and tapped the front page with a smile that was growing bigger by the moment. "Have you seen the headlines this morning?" Zelena looked up and read where she pointed, her own grin growing.

 

**Publishing Tycoon Robert Gold Arrested on Murder Charges**

 

Underneath was a picture of Gold in cuffs being escorted into a police car. Those charges while serious were just the tip of the ice-burg in the charges coming against him since Jeffery's will surfaced in Emma's book; fraud, kidnapping, assault and a long laundry list of other charges were pending further investigation. Mother had given the police her statement and access to their business accounts for their suspicion of Gold's embezzlement. Gold's pent house had been seized and searched. He was ruined. More would come to light in the coming months Regina was sure. Already Zelena was working on making sure Emma got what was due her and what Jeffery, Ingrid and August would have wanted they thought; a trust fund belonging only to Emma.

It was also nearly impossible to believe; how by such chance and serendipity all their lives had crossed paths to result in the coming day her daughter would be legally hers. That day now right around the corner since the Wills discovery a few weeks ago. The last few months of worry weight left Regina's shoulders the closer that day was approaching. They were more than ready. Regina had taken Emma shopping for her adoption outfit – a pair of new skinny jeans and a t-shirt with a swan wearing a crown under an adorable red leather mini jacket Zelena had gifted. Regina had planned a small party with Zelena's help for here at the brown stone with Cora, Mary-Margaret, David and Emma's friend Jasmine attending. Emma wanted a chocolate swan cake and yellow balloons. All of it was planned and ready for when they go back from the court house.

A few weeks ago Regina had worried over this coming day ever being a reality. Then, as it often did since the image of Kathryn had appeared to her on Christmas morning when she had been hugging Emma, all the little mysterious pieces to questions she had about Emma's origins began to suddenly start to fit together and make sense.

Most of them.

And as if hearing her thoughts Zelena turned in her chair and pulled a journal from her oversized purse hanging on the back of the counter stool Regina well recognized. Black leather with gold edging on the pages was set on the counter between them. It was one of Kathryn's older journals from before they were married.

"I've found what you asked me too." Zelena began carefully as she ran her hand over the cover with gentle respect. "It explains Emma's blanket." Regina stared at it, but took it to hold against her chest as if afraid it would be lost somehow. "When you are ready I tabbed the entry I think you need to read."

Regina cleared her throat, "I'm not sure if I am ready for what might be in there."

Zelena smiled softly. "You are more ready than you think."

"How are you so sure?"

"I think fate played more of a role than any of us could have ever imagined in our lives. Just like Daddy used to say about nothing being impossible because the word itself really says I'm possible." Zee looked up at the ceiling briefly as if an invisible being might be listening. "Emma being here with us now gave that new meaning. Read it and you'll see." Zelena stood up and took her tea in one hand while rubbing her sister's shoulder with the other. "I'll be in the living room with Emma. Take your time GiGi."

Regina watched Zelena go and returned her eyes to the book she was hugging tightly. Slowly she set it on the counter. Like Zee had done she ran her fingers over the cover as if expecting to find the touch of her wife under them. Opening the book to the ribbon marker Regina closed her eyes to a past promise made to Kathryn and opened them to the one present made to her daughter for the answer to one last question as she began to read…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N –Annnnndddd feel free to assume that Gold will get his sorry ass kicked repeatedly in prison every day for the rest of his miserable life. Final chapter next week and promised happy ending. :)


	15. A Package Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end notes.
> 
> The beautiful fanart at the start of the chapter is by TheMetizli. Thank you so much for this gift!

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****  


_**Art manip by TheMetztli** _

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– **Epilogue** **– A Package Deal**

**:::::::::::::::::::::::**

Removing her dark sun glasses Regina strolled happily through the doors of _Mills & Mills Publishing_. Gold’s name has been stripped from the building and every other surface he had touched when their partnership dissolved two months ago. The clause in the merger her sister had so carefully drafted all those months ago made getting rid of Gold like erasing an error pencil mark for the charges against him. As Regina walked across the open lobby employees greeted her and she them instead of scattering; a striking contrast to before Christmas time and the day she met her daughter. Regina’s life had done a complete 180 since. She was healing, on good terms with Mother, and just hours away from adopting Emma.

Regina smiled to herself as she rode the elevator to the top floor of the building. The moment she stepped off Mary-Margaret stood up from her desk and came over, shooing her back towards the elevator. Regina tried to side step her and dart for her office door, but the woman in front of her was not having it. Sensing what MM was thinking and what was coming Regina began to play along in teasing. “It’s not official until tomorrow.”

“Oh no. You said this Monday you were officially going down to part time Regina. That is today and I am _officially_ going to hold you to that.” Mary-Margaret insisted.

Red lips pursed in mock agitation. “But my agenda—”

“Is clear. Today is one of your days off Regina and the whole week a holiday for the adoption as far as we are all concerned. We have everything covered.”

Regina looked over Mary-Margret’s shoulder, pretending to be unsure. Her staff was busy and working away without her direction exactly as she had trained them to do. Gold was nowhere to hound her; wallowing in his own misery in an orange jumpsuit behind bars. Mother was no doubt busy getting the bare minimum done so she could join them in a week of celebration. For the first time in over a decade Cora Mills was taking a vacation and had planned a surprise trip for them all to SeaWorld in Orlando. Their bags were packed and their flight left in the morning. Emma was ecstatic to meet Nemo’s friends.

For the first time in ages Regina had nothing hanging over her head at work and she was reveling in the free feeling of it—and the chance to tease her ever worrywart executive assistant who didn’t know a joke when it was right in front of her. There had been a busy time right after Gold had been arrested to clean up his mess, but that had slowed to a mere trickle last week when Regina announced to her staff and Mother she was going down to part time. Mother had taken the news well and while Zelena had been ecstatic for her, Emma was over the moon. Regina agreed to work two and a half days a week and would spend that time working on reading manuscripts from authors of her choosing to invest in. Mary-Margaret had been taking on more responsibility with the financial side of the business and had a sharp talent for it.

Sighing, Regina gestured towards her office lamely. “Then I’ll just pop into my office before I go.”

“Don’t even think of taking your laptop with you. You can use it next week when you come back in officially.”

A dark brow rose and then the corner of Regina’s mouth did. “Then I guess I will get what I originally came here for then and be on my way.” Taking a step toward her office Regina sighed when Mary-Margaret gave her an unsure stink eye. “I promise I won’t work.”

“Or take work home?”

Regina’s eyes rolled. “Or take work home.” She had absolutely no intention of doing so ever again.

“Scouts Honor?”

Then serious as only the Evil Queen of publishing could be. “Step aside Snow White before I give you that raise I promised you in poisoned apples instead.”

Mary-Margaret blinked as the joke on her finally dawned. “Too much, your majesty?” She chirped in tease as she stepped aside, smile still a mile wide on those cheeks for the nickname Emma had given her ages ago.

“Quite.” Regina agreed, but did so with a grateful smile for the care being shown her. “But thank you for caring so much.”

Once in her office Regina went over to her desk immediately picking up the picture of her and Emma she had come for. It was one Zee had taken of them feeding the ducks at the pond in Central Park. That was one of Emma’s favorite places and she wanted to have a special screen shot in the white icing put on the Swan cake Emma wanted she was having made. Tucking the picture into her purse Regina paused over the others on her desk as she took a moment to take them in where most had not been non-existent several months ago.

One of Emma sitting on Cora’s lap banging away at the keys on the piano in Mother’s apartment made her smile. Emma beamed; missing front teeth and all. Mother had dropped trying to push Trinity School altogether, but gently coaxed Emma’s interest in some of the aspects of her more traditional upbringing. Regina had relented to piano lessons Emma said she wanted with once condition—if Cora taught Emma herself and simply for the fun of it. Mother had readily agreed and the two were bonding beautifully through the experience. With the new school year starting up in a few weeks Regina and Emma had toured an elementary school closer to home that was well rated, but still offered the aspects of a diverse and well rounded public education Regina valued. Between that, scouts, and the family dinner they all now had on Sunday’s at the brown stone they were happily busy without being overly so.

Moving her eyes again Regina settled on an older picture of her father and reached to gently touch the edge of the frame. He would have loved Emma. Thoughts turned to her sister’s pregnancy as she gazed into his eyes. If it was a little boy he would be named for their late father. With the baby due in early January it would be another Christmas with the gift of a child coming into their lives.

Having what she came for, Regina made her way across the office and turned out the light as she shut the door. With a wave to Mary-Margaret she made her way back outside and summoned her driver. The first stop was nearby and she quickly ran in a copy of the picture to the bakery where her driver would come back later to pick up the cake for their party afterward. Settling into the back seat once again Regina sent a quick text to her sister who was with Emma at breakfast. Regina would be meeting them at _Haven Spa_ after her appointment with Archie for a Mills girls’ morning filled with pampering in preparation for the afternoon that was finally here. Emma was excited about getting happy sunny nails or yellow nail polish for her Big Day today.

As the city passed by Regina thought about her decision to continue with Emma’s therapy after the adoption, but on a schedule and terms that better suited her daughter. She was looking forward to being able to be more a part of her daughter’s progress with Archie instead of stuck behind the red tape of the system. Emma was getting on much better with him and had absolutely blossomed since the reveal about the origin of her burn scar. There was enough evidence now with Emma’s statement about the burn to press further charges against the woman who had hurt her.

Regina’s mind drifted then to her own therapy and the aftermath of having read Kathryn’s journal. She closed her eyes remembering the feel of the leather book with gold lined pages between her hands and of cracking the spine for the first time she had promised she never would. But promise or not to her late wife, Regina had made one to her daughter she intended to keep and one she thought Kathryn would forgive her for given the circumstances. As she thought on the words written there Regina pictured the pages in her hands trying to imagine what she had read through Kathryn’s eyes as it had been written…

 

_This is the third time I’ve been here to the donor clinic and my last. It has been a long several months and I will be glad when I don’t need to come back, though today I am glad I did for more than the reason to finally have enough to afford the ring the woman I love will wear. I want to tell her why I am doing this; these trips to Boston. I’ve aligned them with my work conference schedule perfectly and so she has not questioned my time away. The look on her face when I propose will be worth it._

_Though I don’t think Regina would quite understand right now my other need to do this for the reason that she cannot bear children. We’ve talked of adoption, more so of her desire to go IVF. But I do not want to go that route. I know the effects of the foster system and as a product of it I have my heart set on adoption. Regina’s open to the idea and I think will come around more to it. While I don’t want to carry and give birth, I do want to help another couple have what I have always wanted; a family. I thought about these things as I worked on embroidering a small tapestry for Regina’s home office. She adores apples and the apple tree I have been working on for the last several months is nearly finished as a surprise for her._

_I met a woman today at the clinic who commented on it. She was crocheting a beautiful white blanket. That is a hobby I hope to learn one day. Her small hands moved effortlessly to weave the strands together. She seemed young to be there and I asked her name out of curiosity after complimenting her work. Ingrid was not there to donate like me though._

_We got to talking and I learned she was in town briefly with her husband just for this visit. They had been trying for a baby for over a year and had heard this clinic had exceptional rates of success. They are going to live in Maine—in a little seaside town by the name of Storybrooke. It sounds like a fairy tale and a part of me hopes that maybe my donation would bring a couple like them some of the happiness they are looking for._

_Ingrid asked me if I have ever taken commissions for my work. I hadn’t ever thought about it and told her as much. She asked me if I would consider taking a future commission in the coming months. She wants an embroidered name patch for her child to add to the blanket she was making. Once she knew if it would be a boy or a girl she would contact me with the name. We exchanged mailing information and she apologized for giving a PO Box instead of a physical address. I wondered over the why of it, but didn’t ask._

_I did ask her about what she thought she might name her baby, given her appointment here today was a success. She said Jeffery after her late father and Emma for a girl. Such darling names. I particular adore the sound of Emma._

_Perhaps Regina and I will adopt our own little one someday. For now I have a ring to get and proposal to make. Then hopefully a wedding to plan with a woman I hope to spend the rest of my life making the happiest woman on earth._

 

 

Regina opened her eyes. Like they always were when she thought about what she had read in her wife’s journal her cheeks were wet. Wiping them Regina fingered the ring on her hand. The engagement ring she had taken out of her jewelry box the same day she read that entry and had begun wearing again on her right hand. In loving memory and also in reminder of the sacrifices many had made in order for Emma and her to be together. Time was such a precious thing and Regina intended to spend hers where it mattered; in present happiness with her daughter and family knowing now for sure that is what Kathryn had always wanted for her.

Then before she could think too much on it, Regina realized she had something she needed to do. She thumbed a text to Dr. Hopper’s receptionist canceling the appointment and then tapped on the glass to alert David to turn the car around. It was time for a therapy of a different sort.

 

::::::::::::::::::::::::::

 

The person Regina had come to talk too waited with an infinite amount of patience. While under any other circumstance Regina would have appreciated such a gesture, she did

not at the moment. But it could not be helped by either of them in this situation. Regina stared ahead, unsure of how to begin so she just began where her thoughts currently were.

“I don’t know how to do this. I’ve never prayed before. Not formally anyway.” She rolled her eyes at herself. This tight feeling in her chest whenever she thought about this place was what made speaking so difficult. Actually being here and trying to talk was even more so. “There have been a lot of changes since last Christmas. I have a lot to tell you, but there is not a lot of time today.” Her lips pursed briefly as a gentle breeze brushed past her cheek; a tender caress and the edge of that tight burning in her throat began to ease as she kept speaking. “But I didn’t feel right about going on with the day without coming to see you.”

 

Heeled boots shifted on grass as the wind picked up again. Regina looked away as the corners of her eyes stung. A slow breath in and out left her lips. She was here. Right now. Here within this raw hug of her grief. This was okay and she, Regina, was okay. She was bringing closure to all of it. For Emma and just as importantly she had come to realize, for herself too. She had tried writing the letter numerous times, but never got as far as she needed to. This, she’d realized, she needed to do in person.

 

Regina swallowed thickly and turned her eyes back to the marble at the base of her feet. She had not stood here since before Christmas. For a year straight she had come every other week to visit, never speaking, just yearning and each time carrying more sorrow and the weight of loss with her back to the brown stone where she had been alone. That loneliness had been a suffocating cocoon Regina thought she would never grow out of. Then, one day when Regina had least expected it she woke up to a pair of green eyes and dimples that made her bruised heart begin beating again.

 

With another breath she knelt down to be closer, resting her hand on the bed of grass. It was cool and damp from morning dew, alive and well under her touch. Regina raked her fingers through it imagining another texture and color entirely; soft and golden with a hint of strawberry highlights. “There is so much I want to tell you and I will come back to tell you everything about how I met Emma. I’ll bring her soon. She is asking to meet you and she’s been wanting me to give you this for some time now.”

 

Regina reached into her purse and took out a picture of Emma sitting on Santa’s lap. It had been her first picture of Emma, bright eyed and a beaming ray of hope in that little smile. She’d had duplicates made in various sizes for herself, mother, and Zelena. Regina thumbed the edge of the picture in a thick protective frame and set on the base of the marble.

 

“I wish you were here to raise Emma with me and watch her grow up. She’s so much like you. Sometimes too I turn and think I see you and then I blink and realize it’s not.” Reflecting as she recalled the few times she had sworn she had see Kathryn. The image of those blue eyes and reassuring smile on the busy corner by the deli when Emma had nearly gotten hit by the truck flashed; her baby safe in her arms, a miracle all her own. “But I think maybe you have been with each of us guiding us to each other. I just didn’t see it until recently.”

 

Regina brought her hand to her lips and gently kissed the ring there. Then she moved to caress Kathryn’s name just above Emma’s picture. “I love you and thank you for our daughter.”

 

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::

 

Emma wiggled at the feet of her Mama, leaning back into the warm support at her back. The room was bright and full of more than people and Emma’s tummy danced excitedly. Something called a final decree they had all been waiting for occurred as Emma stood in front of her Mama wearing her new special outfit as a man in a black dress inside a New York City court room finished speaking. Emma reached up to hold the hands resting on her shoulders as the Judge made her adoption final with the bang of a gavel.

Emma was officially a Mills.

The room erupted around them in cheers and applause. Emma jumped up into her Mama’s arms for kisses upon kisses and hugs upon hugs. Friends from _Mills & Mills_ and even Emma’s scout troop and school had come out to show their support. In the front row though, most importantly, was her family waiting to congratulate them.

She was passed to Zelena and snuggled into red hair as she giggled. Tickle fingers made her gasp and squirm. “Aunt ZeeZee!”

“My ticklish little Monkey.”

Emma squealed happily as a big kiss was planted on her cheek and then she was passed to Nona who gave her an equally big kiss and twirl and finally she was put back in her Mama’s arms. She wrapped her arms and legs tight around a waist and held onto her Mama. No one could take her away ever again. The papers the Judge signed made sure of that. Emma found herself starting to cry a little and laughing with joy at the same time. Mama was too and as she looked around Emma saw there was not a dry eye in the room.

Then Mama was talking to her in the special tender whisper that always made her pay attention. Mama’s voice was a warm soft comfort that wrapped her up tight and safe in all the best ways. Emma leaned forward to better hear in the excited chatter around them and even then those extra voices seemed to quiet in this moment she shared with her Mama. Their foreheads rested together and Emma grinned.

“I’m ‘dopted Mama!”

“Yes you are Emma Kathryn Mills.” Regina smiled back, her eyes shining at her daughter as her Mother and Zee wrapped their arms around them both in a group hug. Thoughts went briefly to Daddy and Kathryn whom she was sure were enjoying this moment in spirit. All of them here together. “We Mills are a package deal. Every single one of us.”

Emma giggled when Mama rubbed their noses together. “Love you Mama.”

“And I love you my little duck. Always and forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N – A HUGE thank you for reading, commenting, your kudos, fan-art and to those that kept asking me for more of the Mills girls and their story. Without that prompting and desire I don’t think this would have gotten written. This has been an emotional and magical journey to write for these characters. I hope you enjoyed it. Please share your thoughts--I love hearing from you!
> 
> My next work is called Second Chances and is inspired from ongoing requests for a story similar to The Do Over. While some aspects will be similar this will be a fully unique blend of magic, jumping realms, family, love, a fairy war, SQ flashbacks and second chances for both Regina and Emma. This is still a WIP at 80k so far and the reveal date will be posted on my Tumblr later on: Littleswanlover
> 
> Meanwhile I am going to take a break. There may be some sporadic posts to my other WIP Mommy’s Little Princess or Lovely Bones on occasion as I finish writing Second Chances, but there is no set schedule.
> 
> Infinite kudos to you dear readers. Until next time…


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